Tag Archives: Writing

“Hope smiles from the threshold of the year to come, whispering, ‘It will be happier.'” -Alfred Lord Tennyson

Snapchat-1311408993Hello everyone! I hope you all had a great Christmas. I for one had a rollercoaster of a day. The morning was great and I’m super excited about the new mouse and mousepad I received because my 12 year old mouse I got with my first computer had died finally. The bad part? I accidentally locked myself in the garage. I have spent a few weeks alone in the house because Michaela and her family went to Florida for the holidays and on Christmas night, I went out to the freezer to see what I wanted to eat for dinner. Well, apparently the door wasn’t unlocked all the way and when I shut it behind me, I locked myself in. It’s a long story but thankfully I was in there for less than two hours. Zack was able to get the neighbors help to cut the chain off the front door and come into the house and let me out of the garage. So, crisis averted, no living in the freezing garage for two weeks.

This post isn’t about the horrors of the holidays, though. It is yet another post about setting goals. As I was looking over things that I want to improve I saw an overall theme: ME. I want to work on me; physically, emotionally, mentally, financially, spiritually, socially…literally every way possible. So, here is what I’m thinking:

  1. Physically:
    a) Start yoga -I’m taking yoga to fulfill the PE requirement for my AA-
    b) Go to the gym -Zack has a membership for a gym and can take one person with him-
    c) Drink more water -or water in general-
    d) Try my hardest to cut out gluten
  2. Emotionally:
    a) Write in a journal
    b) Look at the positives when I get really down
    c) Listen to uplifting music
  3. Mentally:
    a) I’m seeing a personal counselor through the church so I want to continue meeting with him
    b) Continue growing by reading -my goal is to read 7 books-
    c) Finish community college -finally-
    d) Keep up with my blog -maybe I can do better than I did this year-
    e) Write my book -I need to just do it-
  4. Financially:
    a) Sell my wedding dress FINALLY -I’ve been trying to sell it for a year and I’ve added a slideshow of it below- 
    b) Get a job -this will happen this year-
    c) Create a savings plan
  5. Spiritually:
    a) Read the Book of Mormon again
    b) Read the Bible through for the first time
    c) Go to all church activities I am capable of going to
    d) Get into family history more
  6. Socially:
    a) Find free activities to do with friends
    b) Take a few trips with friends and/or family -go white water rafting and hiking, specifically-
    c) Host a family reunion -this is happening in June, whether people come or not-
    d) Visit family in Idaho

Yes, I am aware that this is a long list but if you stop and really look at it, it’s very doable. I didn’t make unattainable goals like travel the world, get married, or have my own house because realistically that won’t happen. But I do have the ability to take care of my needs. As this is my last post of 2018, I wish you all a happy and safe New Year! Comment below on ways to help me sell this dress, I honestly want it out of my closet already.

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“Stopping a piece of work just because it’s hard, either emotionally or imaginatively, is a bad idea. Sometimes you have to go on when you don’t feel like it.” -Stephen King

It’s November again everyone. You know what that means? It’s National Novel Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo for short. NaNoWriMo is exactly what it sounds like, one month dedicated to writing a novel. The goal? To write 50,000 words in the 30 days of November. If you want to visit the official site, click here.

I tried to do it in 2016 and got to 40,000 words and this year my goal is to actually win. By win, I mean complete 50,000 words. I’m hoping to finally have my book finished this year and my first draft typed up and ready for my beta readers by my birthday next year.

Of course, on day five, I am behind. This is due to two things; decided on day three to actually participate this year and me procrastinating. I spent weeks going back and forth on the idea of doing NaNoWriMo this year. So far, the last two years I’ve decided to participate, something big happens in my life. My friend gets hit by a car, I start going through a divorce. I’m confident nothing drastic will happen this year, though.

There is so much out there about NaNoWriMo and it can get crazy but it’s also exciting. Something I found recently that made me feel good was this page here. Who knew that a popular book series such as Cinder was started during NaNoWriMo?

Thank you for visiting my blog and I hope you continue coming back. Comment below to let me know if you’ve ever participated in NaNoWriMo or if you think my goals for my book are reasonable. For cool videos on NaNoWriMo, visit here.

 

“Don’t be discouraged Oh I realize It’s hard to take courage” -True Colors Lyrics

36517389_1849541408687582_7254849853488889856_nHello everyone! I apologize for being MIA for so long. Has it really been since May? Well, Not too much has changed in my life as of late. Still no work, still going to school, still dating the same guy. One thing to note is that I finished my Drama 1 class last week with an A, I actually loved it. I’m now focusing on my ASL 1 and Math classes that I have left this summer. I hope to post more about my ASL class later. Today I want to be real with everyone. Life is hard, sometimes it feels too hard. It’s even harder to admit that it’s hard for you. Sometimes you have to just pull yourself together in the morning and pretend you aren’t hurting inside.

I’ll be the first to admit that I feel this way sometimes. It’s been more often than not lately and I hate to burden people with my struggles because they’re already doing so much for me.

Life has been really discouraging lately. I have applied to over 100 places; office jobs, fast food, retail, child care. So far, I had two interviews, the first one I was emailed less than a week later saying they went with someone more qualified and the other one I knew I wasn’t going to get because the interviewer was really rude to me at the end. My bank also feels the need to remind me that I have $11 to my name right now because I don’t have a job. Thankfully I have people willing to support me with the things I need so I’m not homeless, starving, or having to drop school. But I don’t enjoy relying on others to buy me food, pay for my textbooks and school fees, living in a house with no way to chip in. I can’t even qualify for food stamps because I’m taking more than 6 college units and not working at least 20 hours a week. You may think I’m exaggerating but I’m not, that is literally the policy. Apparently if you’re going to school full-time, you can afford to pay for food yourself. I also was wanting to take up YouTube gaming and created my channel and everything but ran into an issue when my computer couldn’t run the software. So, I’m at a loss.

Now, I don’t share my struggles to get sympathy or to become a charity case. I tell you these things so you know where I’m coming from. I am discouraged and I’m struggling. I’m also not saying I’m not extremely grateful for all that those around me have done to help me be where I am right now. I am more indebted to those people than even imaginable. Michaela literally changed my life. 2018 has not been the year I had hoped it would be, it started out in the worst possible way and has been a swirling rollercoaster ever since.

The question remains, though. What am I going to do moving forward. Everyone has their opinions on what you should do to get back on track.  The following are my plans:

  • First, I will continue to focus on my education because that’s all I really can do right now. I am on my last year of community college and I’ll be done.
  • Second, I will be doing is writing. I want to write more of my book, I do have less than 4 years to make my goal so I need to get on it. I also want to write in my journal each day, even if I don’t have much to say.
  • Third, I will be diving back into bullet journaling. I have let it slip away as of late and I want it back, I felt so happy and together when I was bullet journaling.
  • Fourth, I will be working on my art. I got a drawing notebook and pencils and haven’t done much with them. I think it’s time I do that.
  • Fifth, I will be working on my health. The stress of the last several months has taken a toll on my body and it’s showing, anyone who has seen me lately can attest to that.

I think those things are a good start. Of course, I’ll still be trying to find a job but I need to take care of me because no one else can do that for me. No one can fix the inside when it’s hurt, only I can do that. And I am ready to do so.

I thank you all for being on this ride called life with me. I will be back posting every Monday, I was away for far too long. I thought about posting so often but I was in a rut that I couldn’t get out of. But being in school (physically rather than online) has helped me immensely and I am starting to feel a little bit more like myself. I want to be me again. I, of course, won’t be the same. We’re always changing and this year has changed me a lot.

Thank you for coming to my blog and I hope you keep coming back. My posts aren’t typically this heavy but I wanted people to know my heart.

I want to close this post with something very off topic, though. This coming Saturday is International Save the Vaquita Day. Check out this link here to see if there’s an event near you. And if you don’t know what vaquitas are, they are the world’s smallest porpoises and they are going extinct. There are about 12 left and they only live in one place, the gulf of Mexico. They are being killed because they are getting caught in illegal gill nets. If you can, donate to their cause. They are amazing creatures that are suffering at the hands of man.

“Prayer is not asking. Prayer is putting oneself in the hands of God, at His disposition, and listening to His voice in the depth of our hearts.” ―Mother Teresa

This past week has been a test of my patients. The college I was planning to go back to keeps blocking all ways of progress for my degree and I was at the end of my rope. I didn’t know what else to do, I was ready to just give up. Instead, I prayed. When we take that leap of faith and pray, it will surprise you what answers will come to you. What came to me? Well, I was prompted to no longer pursue that school. If the institution is no longer willing to work with me, there is no reason to give them any more of my money or time.

Screen Shot 2018-04-30 at 10.20.21 AMLet me tell you all, this school is (in my experience) the worst one in California. Ever since I started there in 2011, I have run into issue after issue. Just last year they wanted to charge me for a book they misplaced. To make it worse, they were charging me more than a brand new book would cost. The book you can see here and in the image is the one they lost. The price is about $15 new and they wanted to charge me over $20. They were withholding my transcripts from being sent to Los Angeles Valley College (where I was transferring). Of course, I took matters into my own hands. I went above the whole staff at the college and I contacted the president of the school system. Yes, the president. Some may think, “why would you bother the president with a silly little book. Just pay the fee.” No, it wasn’t my book to pay for. It was not my fault they misplaced it. Once it is back at the library, it is no longer my responsibility. Well, a couple of days later, I received an email directly from him (crazy, right?) saying that he will be contacting the school to fix this problem. The best part? A couple of hours after receiving said email, I got a call from the school saying all holds and charges for the book had been dropped. What a shocker! It couldn’t have had anything to do with the president, could it?

You could imagine how tired I was of fighting this school by now, right? This is just one example of many and I thought that, when I moved to L.A., I would be done with them but I was so very wrong. Life put me in a place where I was going to go back to this awful place that I despised so very much. It’s not the teachers or the curriculum I dislike, though one teacher I had almost caused a fight between groups of students in the class twice due to her curriculum. No, it’s the staff in the admissions and records department. They are supposed to know more than they do but they don’t and they refuse to work with you to find out. I have had to turn to the counseling department for things admissions and records should have helped me with. The last 3 months have been a nightmare working with them because they are so incompetent.

This is why I prayed. I was ready to  just give up all that I had worked for. I was done, I couldn’t take it anymore. But when I prayed, I felt so much peace. I am about an hour away from the college I was going to go back to and there is another college in the town I’m in. I didn’t want to go to this other college because when I transfer to a university, I didn’t want to have to send transcripts from 3 different colleges. I wanted to just send 2 transcripts and be done with it. But sometimes the plan we have is not what is best. I am now preparing to go to this other college and I have discovered I will be able to receive 5 degrees and 3 certificates (Child and Adolescent Development AA-T, Early Childhood Education AS-T, English AA-T, University Studies in Elementary Teaching Preparation AA-T, Child Development AS, Child Development Teacher Certificate of Achievement, Child Development Assistant Skill Certificate, and Child Development Associate Teacher Skill Certificate). You may be thinking that it’s excessive and unnecessary but I honestly don’t have to do anything extra for these degrees. For example, the Early Childhood Education AS-T and the Child Development AS need the exact same courses.

Anyway, I wanted to let you all know that things really are looking up. I may not currently have a job but I am applying like crazy. I have school to keep me busy and friends on my side.

As always, thank you for visiting my blog. Keep visiting weekly to learn more about my life and the world around me. If you have every felt frustrated about your school, comment below with how you handled it. I love hearing from you! Until next time, have a great week!

“May we long remember that which we have heard during conference,” -President Monson

Just a reminder to watch General Conference this coming weekend.

General conference times:
March 31st at 10am and 2pm (MST)
April 1 at 10am and 2pm (MST)

To watch online, visit this LDS.org page. Watch the videos below to help you prepare! Comment below what you do to prepare for conference.

“Wisdom will come as we listen to learn.” -President Russell M. Nelson

29388561_1796523377322719_4154977917933191168_nThis past weekend I had the opportunity to attend something my grandma used to go to quite often. Time Out For Women is an opportunity for sisters in the church to get together and learn and grow.  A friend of mine had extra tickets and I was able to use them. Let me tell you, the speakers were wonderful!

TOFW is a 2 day event and there are several people who speak to us. Each speaker has something to share to help us grow in faith and support. A room full of women listening to touching stories, you could only assume we cried. Let me tell you a bit about my experience and the speakers for each day.

29389205_1796523660656024_4174583619005710336_oFriday night, there were only a few speakers and each one was pretty heavy. First was Cade and Carrian Cheney. They run a blog called Oh Sweet Basil and they discussed how the blog came to be and how it changed their lives. Carrian had a lot of health complications when she was pregnant and when Cade lost his job their blog provided what they needed. But it became not only a place to share recipes but a place to share their faith. I don’t want to give away their whole story but it was a beautiful and touching one. I love that they talked about how the love of cooking and doing it together brought their family closer than ever. Cooking with your significant other can change your day.29432347_1796523570656033_2126170809096470528_o

Next we heard from Jenny Oaks Baker, a violinist who is the daughter of Dallin H. Oaks (one of the apostles). She shared a little about her life and hardships she’s faced; from losing her mom to getting her van loaded with 9 weeks of belongings and expensive instruments broken into. I love that she also included her 14-year-old daughter, who was playing the piano with her. Listening to them was such a delight! And I loved their dresses.

29389089_1796523313989392_869140572839870464_nThe last speaker of the night was Tim Ballard. His story was the most emotional of the night. He has a nonprofit organization called Operation Underground Railroad. He and his team rescue children all over the world from sex trafficking. The story he told us was of a bishop in Haiti whose baby boy was taken from him and no one was able to help him. So Tim Ballard looked into it and found where he would have been taken and, to make a long story short, he rescued 28 children from being sold. Sadly, the bishop’s son had already been sold and still, a couple of years later, has not been found. The bishop did end up adopting 8 of the children who were rescued, though. And Tim ended up adopting 2 more, and it’s been a long process because of international adoption policies but they are coming home this week finally.

29365497_1796523823989341_4389166932507492352_oSaturday was another great day with amazing speakers. We started with a woman named Jenny Reeder, who is a church historian. She shared several stories of women in the bible as well as in church history that we didn’t know the full details about. She also shared her story of how she battled cancer 3 times in her life and how she had to come to terms with being infertile because of all the radiation. Her story was touching and, of course, brought tears to my eyes because I, too, may not be able to have children. I know that I still do have a possibility of conceiving but I still feel her pain.

29356713_1796523403989383_5012231331262758912_nThe next speaker was Alissa Parker. Alissa’s daughter Emily was a victim in the Sandy Hook shooting and has since co-founded Safe and Sound Schools. I may not be a mother but hearing her speak made me cry more than any other speaker the whole weekend. I’m not a mother but I love children and I have nieces and nephews. I can only imagine how I would feel if something like this happened to one of them. When I hear stories involving children, my heart breaks. The world is can be a dark place and when I hear these stories it reminds me just how dark. There was something she said that stuck with me. It was about when she gave her anger and sadness of the shooter to God she felt a weight lift from her. It made me realize that I never truly forgave the driver who killed my grandpa. I have internally held onto it, still a little upset with this stranger who I will never meet. But if Alissa can give her anger to God and let it go, so can I. And of course, that made me cry more.

29388402_1796523370656053_149983822799175680_nWe had the opportunity to hear from City of Enoch, a LDS musical group. Their stories and voices really touched me. They actually sang one of my favorite songs, which I recorded and will add the video at the end. Each of them became new parents in 2017 (I think that’s what they said) and 2 of them are expecting their second children this year. Listening to their songs really touched my soul and I hope that more people are able to experience their music because it is so enlightening! I could listen to them all day every day because it’s just that amazing and I hope you find as much joy in their music as I have.

29386614_1796523413989382_7812373145796476928_nThe next speakers were Tamu Smith and Zandra Vranes. They are Sistas in Zion and boy are they funny. I loved listening to them and learning about how sisters can come from anywhere at any time. And that we are each like mitch match socks and together we are a pair. I love that! They were actually wearing mitch match socks, too! You can tell, just from hearing them, that they love each other and the church. I loved Zandra’s spunkiness and Tamu’s testimony. Tamu is actually from Fresno and hasn’t been back in a long while so it was nice to hear from a local. I do wish they had talked more but I loved hearing from them for the time they had. I know I’ll be checking out their website now, that’s for sure!

29365970_1796523353989388_3546723945099034624_nOur last speaker was Elaine S. Dalton, who was the Young Women’s president for a few years. I remember listening to her quite often. I had never heard her in person, though, so it was nice. I loved how shiny her dress was, and I think it perfectly represents who she is. She is so lively and fun and funny. I loved when she talked about being grumpy now. She used a story from her granddaughter and how she was grumpy because she wanted more pita. And she related that to how we are sometimes grumpy and it’s ok. It’s normal to have those bad days but don’t let those grumpy days become who you are or define you. You are not a grumpy person, you just had a rough day and aren’t happy today. You will have a better day tomorrow, though!

This experience was a great one and I feel like I really needed it. I am grateful I got to go and if you ever have the opportunity to attend, do it. It will change you. I know the price can be kinda steep but it’s so worth it!

As always, thank you for coming to my blog. If you have ever attended or plan to attend TOFW, post your thoughts below. We want to hear from you. Stay tuned for more posts each week! Now enjoy a couple songs by City of Enoch! The first one is the song I recorded so I apologize for the poor quality.

“Sometimes it’s hard to see the rainbow when there’s been endless days of rain.” ―Christina Greer

pcosI know many of you are still confused about all that is going on in my life.Which is why I decided to make a blog post about one specific aspect of my life that many are ignorant on, through no fault of their own.

In August of last year, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), view my post on that here. Of course, I had no idea what it was, no one I knew had ever mentioned having it nor was it in the media like cancer or diabetes. What even is PCOS? What does it mean to have it? What are complications that arise from PCOS? Will I be ok? What can I do to make sure it doesn’t get worse? I had all of these questions and more. I was harboring them inside of me and I was afraid to let everyone know because I was worried enough, I didn’t want to worry anyone else. The couple people I actually opened up to just brushed it off as nothing. But sadly, it’s not nothing. It’s something bigger than we all thought. In my previous post I really just spoke about what the symptoms were and added a list of famous people who also have PCOS. This time I am going to give you a few things that I have learned since then.

  • pcos plateAvoiding gluten and dairy help
  • A low GI diet is important
  • Being active is vital, strength training as well as cardio
  • Losing weight (when overweight) helps immensely. According to PCOS for Dummies, “If you are an overweight woman with PCOS, even a modest weight loss of 5 percent leads to
    1. A decrease in your insulin level
    2. An improvement in your menstrual cycle (or acts as a trigger for it to start again)
    3. Reduced testosterone levels, leading to reductions in hirsutism and acne
  • Every issue I’ve been dealing with (digestive issues, depression, acne, weight gain, irregular menstruation, vitamin D deficiency, and many other things) are linked together with PCOS
  • 75% of women with PCOS have a relative with PCOS as well

I have made a whole board on Pinterest full of helpful stuff for managing PCOS, which you can find here. I also have a board for gluten/dairy free recipes and foods that you can visit here. I will be attempting to be gluten and dairy free, though I know it will take time. I am starting off small. Right now, I am focusing on following the PCOS plate so we will see how this goes.

I hope this helped everyone understand at least a little bit about what is going on inside of me. I also hope this helps everyone have a better understanding of my diet, so if I say I can’t have something it’s not because I don’t like it. I want to help my body be happy.

As always, thank you for visiting my blog! I hope you come back to read more. If you still have questions, check out the image and video below. I will talk more about PCOS later so please don’t think I’m leaving you out to dry. Stay tuned!

pcos1

“The hard part is putting one word after another.” ―Jo Linsdell

Last week I decided to start working on my book again. I realized that I began working on it 10 years ago, and I desperately want to finish it. Of course, I haven’t been writing continuously for the last 10 years. I didn’t write at all for a few years. Plus in 2016 I decided to scrap what I had and start over. Of course, around the same time my best friend was hit by a car. I was planning to do as much as I could for NaNoWriMo, but life had other plans. Then I planned on writing for camp NaNoWriMo last summer, but school kept me busy. Then I was unable to participate in NaNoWriMo last year due to personal issues. So, I am going to just do it. I want to do it for NaNoWriMo, but I can’t just sit here and wait 9 months just so I can cram 50,000 words onto paper for the sake of saying I did it. Who knows, maybe I will be done with my first draft and working on my second draft by that time.

Screen Shot 2017-10-05 at 4.09.44 PM

All I know is that it is part of my 30 before 30 list to finish and publish this book. I am determined, and my wonderful boyfriend and my best friend are both behind me on this. It will happen, so stay tuned for updates. For now, enjoy this image that I decided to use as my temporary cover. Yes, we all look terrible, we were at a sleepover and I was 17. This is by no means the actual cover, though.

I know this post was completely random, but it’s what I’m doing right now. As always, thank you for visiting my blog. It is greatly appreciated! Keep coming back for new content each week.

Please enjoy my playlist pertaining to my book, it’s the popular songs/songs we listened to back then. https://open.spotify.com/embed/user/carraskye/playlist/6dnlocOoYCaEqFlmYXbmao

“Do not be afraid to ask for help. Nobody gets through college on their own.” -Michelle Obama

downloadCollege in and of itself is stressful, everyone knows that. Between homework, tests, reading, and your outside life there is so much to do. There are also many outside factors that could push back your estimated completion date. It’s a bummer when life gets in the way of what you want to do but it happens and there may be nothing you can do about it.

I started college in fall of 2011 at a community college and my life took a turn that I had not expected. The guy I had been in love with since I was 17 chose another woman over me. This caused my math grade to suffer and I failed the course. In spring of 2012 I moved out on my own and started volunteering more and started focusing less on my education, like not doing all of my homework. I failed my math class a second time, my astronomy class, and political science.

280px-Chevrolet_Metro_sedanFall of 2012 was definitely the worst semester of all, however. I enrolled in 2 English courses, history, tennis (because PE is required), photography, and child development. In this semester I started getting a fever almost every other week starting the second week of school. The doctors didn’t know what issue was so it was never addressed. I was also in 2 car accidents, neither being the fault of my own. The day after my second accident, that basically totalled my Geo Metro LSi, my aunt and uncle moved out-of-state. Next, my long-term boyfriend and I broke up, I was sexually assaulted by my neighbor, and I moved into Hector’s parent’s house. Due to all of this, I stopped going to school and failed all of my classes. It was also at this time that I decided to go on a mission.

My mission resulted in me taking 2 years off of school, which is what I thought I needed. When I returned, I started taking 2 classes each semester. I was doing wonderfully there for a bit. But then in 2016, Hector and I moved to L.A. and I had to transfer. This pushed my education back further. I was actually scheduled to be done this semester but I, again, dropped all of my classes and I left to Missouri for a month to clear my head. This my graduation date being pushed again. I went back to L.A. because I knew I wanted to finish my degrees but I was once again sexually assaulted at my place of residence by a neighbor and I had no choice but to move.

I am now enrolled in my third community college and I believe that if I stick with it, I will completely done next spring semester. It took a long time but I’m getting there. It will be a joyous occasion that you will all hear about (hopefully next year). Next stop? Bachelor’s degree!

Thank you all for visiting my blog, as always. I hope you enjoy your view of my thoughts. If you have any comments, concerns, or questions please post them below.

“You’ve got to love yourself first. You’ve got to be okay on your own before you can be okay with somebody else.” -Jennifer Lopez

26637862_1765309620444095_1867319733_nHello friends and family. I want to give you all a little update in my life so you can all be reassured that I am, indeed, okay.

Last any of you knew I was still trying to figure things out and I was either in Missouri or L.A. Well, I am now in neither place. Due to unforeseen circumstances, I am Near Fresno rooming with my best friend and her boyfriend and their daughter. I know a lot of people have their concerns about this set up but it’s all going to work out. How do I know this? Faith!

I’m not going to write much because I just wanted to let you all know that I am in good hands. I have a job, I have a place to stay with my own room, and I have food in my belly. I’m not let out in the cold rain to starve, I know I’m loved. Just know that I am ok and I am making it through everything.

And as always, thank you for checking out my blog! Keep coming back here every week.