Tag Archives: Writing

“The hard part is putting one word after another.” ―Jo Linsdell

Last week I decided to start working on my book again. I realized that I began working on it 10 years ago, and I desperately want to finish it. Of course, I haven’t been writing continuously for the last 10 years. I didn’t write at all for a few years. Plus in 2016 I decided to scrap what I had and start over. Of course, around the same time my best friend was hit by a car. I was planning to do as much as I could for NaNoWriMo, but life had other plans. Then I planned on writing for camp NaNoWriMo last summer, but school kept me busy. Then I was unable to participate in NaNoWriMo last year due to personal issues. So, I am going to just do it. I want to do it for NaNoWriMo, but I can’t just sit here and wait 9 months just so I can cram 50,000 words onto paper for the sake of saying I did it. Who knows, maybe I will be done with my first draft and working on my second draft by that time.

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All I know is that it is part of my 30 before 30 list to finish and publish this book. I am determined, and my wonderful boyfriend and my best friend are both behind me on this. It will happen, so stay tuned for updates. For now, enjoy this image that I decided to use as my temporary cover. Yes, we all look terrible, we were at a sleepover and I was 17. This is by no means the actual cover, though.

I know this post was completely random, but it’s what I’m doing right now. As always, thank you for visiting my blog. It is greatly appreciated! Keep coming back for new content each week.

Please enjoy my playlist pertaining to my book, it’s the popular songs/songs we listened to back then. https://open.spotify.com/embed/user/carraskye/playlist/6dnlocOoYCaEqFlmYXbmao

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“Do not be afraid to ask for help. Nobody gets through college on their own.” -Michelle Obama

downloadCollege in and of itself is stressful, everyone knows that. Between homework, tests, reading, and your outside life there is so much to do. There are also many outside factors that could push back your estimated completion date. It’s a bummer when life gets in the way of what you want to do but it happens and there may be nothing you can do about it.

I started college in fall of 2011 at a community college and my life took a turn that I had not expected. The guy I had been in love with since I was 17 chose another woman over me. This caused my math grade to suffer and I failed the course. In spring of 2012 I moved out on my own and started volunteering more and started focusing less on my education, like not doing all of my homework. I failed my math class a second time, my astronomy class, and political science.

280px-Chevrolet_Metro_sedanFall of 2012 was definitely the worst semester of all, however. I enrolled in 2 English courses, history, tennis (because PE is required), photography, and child development. In this semester I started getting a fever almost every other week starting the second week of school. The doctors didn’t know what issue was so it was never addressed. I was also in 2 car accidents, neither being the fault of my own. The day after my second accident, that basically totalled my Geo Metro LSi, my aunt and uncle moved out-of-state. Next, my long-term boyfriend and I broke up, I was sexually assaulted by my neighbor, and I moved into Hector’s parent’s house. Due to all of this, I stopped going to school and failed all of my classes. It was also at this time that I decided to go on a mission.

My mission resulted in me taking 2 years off of school, which is what I thought I needed. When I returned, I started taking 2 classes each semester. I was doing wonderfully there for a bit. But then in 2016, Hector and I moved to L.A. and I had to transfer. This pushed my education back further. I was actually scheduled to be done this semester but I, again, dropped all of my classes and I left to Missouri for a month to clear my head. This my graduation date being pushed again. I went back to L.A. because I knew I wanted to finish my degrees but I was once again sexually assaulted at my place of residence by a neighbor and I had no choice but to move.

I am now enrolled in my third community college and I believe that if I stick with it, I will completely done next spring semester. It took a long time but I’m getting there. It will be a joyous occasion that you will all hear about (hopefully next year). Next stop? Bachelor’s degree!

Thank you all for visiting my blog, as always. I hope you enjoy your view of my thoughts. If you have any comments, concerns, or questions please post them below.

“You’ve got to love yourself first. You’ve got to be okay on your own before you can be okay with somebody else.” -Jennifer Lopez

26637862_1765309620444095_1867319733_nHello friends and family. I want to give you all a little update in my life so you can all be reassured that I am, indeed, okay.

Last any of you knew I was still trying to figure things out and I was either in Missouri or L.A. Well, I am now in neither place. Due to unforeseen circumstances, I am Near Fresno rooming with my best friend and her boyfriend and their daughter. I know a lot of people have their concerns about this set up but it’s all going to work out. How do I know this? Faith!

I’m not going to write much because I just wanted to let you all know that I am in good hands. I have a job, I have a place to stay with my own room, and I have food in my belly. I’m not let out in the cold rain to starve, I know I’m loved. Just know that I am ok and I am making it through everything.

And as always, thank you for checking out my blog! Keep coming back here every week.

“This is who I am. I’m not perfect. I don’t want to try to be perfect.” -Michael Strahan

Sometimes things happen when you least expect them to. Like winning a drawing, finding a lucky penny on the ground, or your friend getting a divorce. Life is crazy sometimes. And I’m sure that you all know that. Otherwise you wouldn’t be reading my blog.

Why do I bring this up? Because I am finally bringing everyone up to date on my life. This post will probably leave you with many questions but it will also answer many of the questions you are currently too afraid to ask.

judgeI’ve decided that I am done hiding from people’s’ judgement. I’m done pretending to be someone I’m not. I’m done lying to everyone I know just so I can make them happy. So, here it all goes. And please, hold your judgement until the end. I know I’m not the best person in the world and I don’t need to blast my entire life on the internet but I feel like my family and friends deserve to know. This will be a very long post so sit tight, maybe make some popcorn or whatever your go-to snack is.

In 2010 (yes, a back story is vital) I came home from summer camp and had a message from my dad. He asked if I had ever talked to my brothers and sister (Mark, Shawn, Kevin, Janelle, and Ryan). After living in Fresno for the better part of 10 years, he asks if I had ever hung out with them. He had never once in my 18 years told me that they were only a few short miles away from where I had grown up. So I did what any sane person in the 21st century would do and I looked them up on Facebook. I only found one of them, my brother Kevin. He’s a really awesome guy. We began talking and set a date to meet. He convinced our sister, Janelle, to also meet me.

Janelle h 2So, one sunday after church, Kevin picked me up and took me to his house. His wife and son were there and eager to meet me. We hung out for a bit until my sister and her boyfriend finally showed up and we began playing a board game until it was time for me to go home. For a few years, I had only met the two of them. My other 3 brothers were not as ready to meet in person, I guess. To this day, I still haven’t met Ryan or Mark.

janelle hAnyway, in the spring of 2012 I was taking a particularly difficult class. I needed help with it and My sister’s boyfriend offered to tutor me. We met up like once but I felt uncomfortable so I didn’t let him tutor me anymore.

Fall semester of 2012 comes around, I had just gotten out of a 6 month relationship. It was October and my favorite holiday was right around the corner. I posted on Facebook that I had nothing to do on Halloween and how I was really bummed because it was my favorite. Well, my sister’s boyfriend sent me a message offering to take me to a haunted house. If you know me, I love haunted houses. So I excitedly agreed. I then found out that he was no longer my sister’s boyfriend….and we hung out that night and he kissed me. I let him because I missed being close with a male. My previous relationship was great and I was the one who screwed things up. And Kissing this guy, my sister’s ex boyfriend, ruined things even farther. My ex was willing to forgive me but then when I told him I went out with someone else, it was all over. Two days later, I was in a hotel room with this man.

hector.jpgThis man’s name is Hector. Shocker, I know. We didn’t actually decide to be a couple until after Thanksgiving. And then at the beginning of December, I stayed with him because I was sexually assaulted in my apartment complex and no longer felt safe there. Then at the beginning of January I went back to stay with my family. I didn’t want anyone to meet Hector. I was ashamed because he was so much older and he was awkward. I didn’t want people to know we were dating. Then at the beginning of March, I went on a mission for my church.

Halfway through my mission, I sent him a letter saying I didn’t want to be with him. It wasn’t right and I felt strongly that it needed to end. I then started talked to an elder who was serving his mission on the opposite side of the country. He was my dream guy. Until things started to turn sexual.

I got home in September of 2014. I saw Hector two weeks later. I stayed the night at his house and I knew I shouldn’t have. And I panicked and demanded that we get married. Two months later I was living with him.

I married him for selfish reasons. Of course I loved him. But I loved him for selfish reasons. And it took me a long time to realize that. I hurt him too many times since we;ve been married and I know that he blames himself but it really is more on me.

Almost 3 years after being married, we’re getting a divorce. I know that it seems sudden and like it was totally out of the blue. But it wasn’t. We started having issues that we couldn’t work through long ago. And it really is better for the both of us if we aren’t together anymore. We will be much happier and at peace this way.

I know that you have a million questions. Like what did I do to hurt him? Why was I so selfish? Where are we going in life now? What is next in my life? There are many things that I cannot put into words here. But I want you all to know the truth because I think you deserve to know that we are no longer together as well as a little bit behind it.

meI know that I was selfish. And I’m working on that. I’m working on myself. I’m sorry to Hector’s friends and family who may read this. I’m sorry to those who I let down. I’m sorry, but I’m also not sorry. We all do things we aren’t proud of. I just keep doing it. You may not be happy about it but I am who I am and I can’t change the past. I can only decide not to continue on the same path I was on. Like it or not, this is who I am. I’m a college student who failed out of school and decided to try again. I smoked cigarettes when I was 5 years old but vowed I would never touch anything like that again. I hurt people I loved very dearly and I never want to hurt anyone that way again. I am an almost 26-year-old soon-to-be divorcee but I won’t let that stop me from finding true love. I am homeless and broke but I have friends who hold me up when I am broken so I know things will be ok. I’m ok. Even if I’m not ok now, I will be. Because I know that my life is what I make of it. And if you are religious, you need to watch the following videos.

As always, thank you for coming to my blog. I hope this answered your questions. I still love my readers and I hope you come back to read about the goings on in my life. Until then, have a wonderful week. And if you have anything you’d like to say, comment below.

 

“No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.” -Robin Williams

Forget about my 26 before 26 list! Here is my new and improved 30 before 30 list…

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  1. Read at least 30 books
  2. Learn to let go of the past
  3. Love myself again
  4. Go white water rafting
  5. Grow out my hair
  6. Reach and maintain a healthy weight
  7. Take a cooking class
  8. Finish and publish my book
  9. Fall in love with life
  10. Go backpacking for a week
  11. Revamp my personal style
  12. Forgive people who hurt me
  13. Do something that absolutely terrifies me
  14. Learn a new skill
  15. Get and keep a job I enjoy
  16. Visit a state or country I’ve never been to
  17. Let love happen
  18. Get a cat or dog
  19. Find God again
  20. Keep up with my blog
  21. Go to a concert
  22. Learn some sign language
  23. Find beauty in the mundane
  24. Get in touch with old friends
  25. Learn to enhance my beauty
  26. Meet with a chiroproctor
  27. Brighten someone’s day
  28. Learn yoga
  29. Follow Marie Kondo’s rules for tidying up
  30. Be positive, always.

If you made it all the way through my list, you probably have questions. Let me give you a little background on how and why I came up with these items, one by one.

  1. I’m sure many of you know by now that I love reading. I always have a goal to read a certain number of books in a certain amount of time. I never reach that goal. For example, for my 26 before 26 list, I had a goal of reading 26 books. Insane, right? 26 books in one year is a far reach for me and I know that. It was crazy to make that goal. You may think that 30 books before I’ 30 is a big goal as well, but I’m giving myself 5 years! I’m counting the books I already read this year, because why not. Just so you all know, I finished 7 books this year so far.
  2. Learning to let go of the past is something that we all need to do in life. Some of us realise early on that our past holds us back. For me, it took a long while. But I figured it out! Better late than never, right?
  3. Self love is vital. We can’t get far in life if we don’t love ourselves. I’ve been feeling down about myself, the way I look, everything. It’s unhealthy and I want it to end.
  4. White water rafting is something I’ve wanted to do since I was a teenager but never had the chance to do. I will be doing it in the next 4 years, though. No excuses.
  5. Growing out my hair kinda goes with self love. It makes me feel better about myself when I have long, healthy hair.
  6. My weight is my main source of low self-esteem. I don’t feel good when I look at myself in the mirror. I’m overweight and I know that. But I am ready to make a change.
  7. I want to take a cooking class because, well, why not? It’s something fun to do in the community.
  8. Finishing my book is something I’ve talked about for YEARS. And I do mean years. Maybe 5 years? Probably more. It’s high time I stopped saying it and just do it.
  9. I want to love my life. People say that there is nothing about life to love but oh are they wrong. I want to love the life I live. I don’t have to love what’s going on in the world but I do want to love what I do, say, feel, experience. I want to feel optimistic in all things.
  10. If you check out the Wilderness Girl tab, you know that I was supposed to go backpacking this past summer with my best friends in the whole world, Michaela. But I landed my job at Universal so that didn’t happen. Instead, We pushed it back. Well, it will happen and I can’t wait for it. Maybe this summer? Who knows!
  11. I have a personal style board on Pinterest of things I would love to wear but I hate shopping for clothes because I feel so ugly in so many things. I hate most of my wardrobe but I don’t want to but new things because I want to lose weight first. It’s a never ending cycle…or it was. I’m breaking that cycle this year!
  12. I have held on to pain for too long, I need to let it all go.
  13. We’re supposed to do something every day that scares us, right? Well, what about the things that absolutely terrify us? I’m doing that sometime in the next couple years.
  14. I want to learn a new skill, I’m not sure what that skill is yet but I want to learn it!
  15. I loved my job at Universal so much, unfortunately it just wasn’t in the cards to keep it. I am on the hunt for a job I enjoy just as much, if not more.
  16. Like most people, I love to travel. I want to visit a state, or country (Canada?) that I’ve never been to because why not?
  17. Let love happen. Don’t force it.
  18. I want a cat or dog so bad. I love them, I miss my cat Socks so much.
  19. Finding God again is one that may have thrown people off. This one I can’t really explain without going to personal and I just can’t do that today. In another blog post maybe. But not today.
  20. Keep up with my blog. I’ve said it time and time again. I’ve failed, time and time again. I am determined. I started off strong this year, though so I’m improving!
  21. I’ve gone to one concert, Raven Symone at the Fresno Fair. I want to go to a big concert, like Imagine Dragons or Taylor Swift.
  22. Sign language is a very powerful language. I want to learn so that I can comunicate with people who are hard of hearing.
  23. I think there is hidden beauty in everything and I intend to find it.
  24. Have you ever told someone that you’d keep in touch and then never do? Well, I have and I want to keep that. I am determined to keep in touch with them.
  25. Enhancing beauty isn’t all centered around makeup. It’s also about how you dress, how you carry yourself, everything.
  26. I have issues that I would like addressed by a chiropractor. It’s pretty self explanatory, I think.
  27. Who doesn’t want to brighten someone else’s day?
  28. I have friends who do yoga and I want to learn.
  29. I started the Marie Kondo rules but never finished because so much stuff was in storage. Then I just gave up.
  30. Always being positive is probably the hardest. I am trying, though. That’s why matters. I want to be an optimist not a pessimist.

If you have a 30 before 30 list, share with us below what you have. As always, thank you for visiting my blog. Until next time!

“I like to do weird things in the shower, like drink my coffee, brush my teeth and drink a smoothie. It’s good time management.” -Michelle Williams

Breakfast smoothie day 3!!!

1/2 cup lemonade

1/2 cup greek yogurt

1 bottle Yankult probiotic

1 mango, peeled and cut

1/2 container of strawberries

A few kale leaves

1 Tbsp chia seeds

1 tsp turmeric

1 packet coconut oil

Add lemonade, yogurt and probiotic first. Next add fruits and veggies. Then we add everything else except coconut oil. Blend well. Add coconut oil while blending. Serve and Enjoy.

 

This was VERY loosely inspired by this recipe from The Domestic Geek (you can tell I made a lot of changes).

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Follow her Instagram, thedomesticgeek1. She has really awesome stuff for her viewers!

“An anniversary is a time to celebrate the joys of today, the memories of yesterday, and the hopes of tomorrow.” -Unknown

My topic for today is MY 5TH ANNIVERSARY of having this blog. I am grateful for everyone who has stuck with me. I may not be the most consistent blogger or the most interesting but you have been here for me though it all. From my first post, “A smile happens in a flash, but its memory can last a lifetime” to my wedding plans and trips around the US. So much has happened in my life and I am glad I get to share it with you. I am grateful for those who have been with me the whole five years and for those who are just joining me in my adventures.

I just can’t believe that it really has been 5 years since I opened this account and began sharing my stories with the world. Literally, people from all over the world have viewed my blog, something I thought would never happen. I may not have millions of followers or be any sort of popular in the blogosphere but I am here and I am happy.

I hope you all keep coming back and enjoying my content. And for now, enjoy this amazing song that came to my mind.

“Have no fear These are nowhere near The best years of your life” -Brad Paisley

Dear 16-year-old Carra,

16          Your life will change in the next year and I know it will be hard. Just remember that there are people who love you and are here for you. You will be able to grow and learn so much because you will be getting out of your comfort zone. You’ll lose people you love, you’ll move twice in one year, and you’ll grow closer to Heavenly Father.
When given the opportunity to go see Mountain Grove High School, you’ll do it, you’ll meet the counselor and come out of the meeting ready to move. Actually ask questions this time, don’t be afraid. It’ll be exciting but sad. Leaving your friends will be hard, it is worth it.
See your mom before you move. It’ll eat at you if you don’t. She wanted to say 16 3goodbye but you left before she could. Also, spend more time packing and less time playing. You’ll have a week to pack all of your stuff. Make sure you put Whoonu in a safe spot so you don’t lose it because if you don’t you’ll find out it’s $60 when you’re looking into buying it again.
There will be many boys interested in you, say no to all of them. I mean it, all of them. Don’t even text Casey after Christmas, you’ll thank me later. Boys are no good and you deserve better than all of them. Having Dakota as a friend is enough, he’s a nice guy. But seriously, do not date any of them.
16 1          Don’t give your friend Megan money because you’ll never get it back. Also, don’t spend your first week not eating and hiding in the bathroom at lunchtime. Make friends.You will become really good friends with the girl who you have almost every class with, her name is Shelby. She’ll introduce you to people and you’ll become “popular” because everyone in your grade knows you.
When your English class gets into a discussion about Mormons, don’t be afraid to turn it into a teaching moment. Straightening out the lies will help them in the long run. Tell Derek that chocolate doesn’t destroy your soul, tell Rachel that we are Christian, stun everyone because they had no idea there was a Mormon in the class. You can do it, don’t be shy.
Another thing to consider is your career project in Personal Finance. You’re 16 2thinking about doing it on OB GYN. Don’t. That’s not really what you want to be, you want to be a teacher or a writer. Don’t pick OB GYN just because it makes more money and it goes with what your classmates are doing. Be yourself Carra, it’s ok.
Finally, don’t yell at your grandparents. You’re going to miss them one day and all of those times you screamed and fought will flood your mind for a time. Try to see it from their point of view. Also, learn all you can from grandma, make it a point to cook with her. Ask her about her life. If you don’t, you’ll regret it later in life.
You are a very smart, beautiful, and caring young woman. Don’t let anyone change that or tell you different. Stay close to your family, spend time with them. Garden with grandma, play pool with grandpa. You’ll miss out on all of that if you don’t. They love you and I love you. Stay strong.

Sincerely,
25-year-old Carra

“There are only two choices: keep it or chuck it. And if you’re going to keep it, make sure to take care of it.” ―Marie Kondō

tidy          I recently finished the book titled “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up” by Marie Kondo. It has truly inspired me. If you haven’t read it, you should! You can find the book here. It is an easy read and very detailed. I even began reading her second book “Spark Joy.” Which you can purchase here. I’ve also seen it at stores such as The Container Store, Michael’s, and Barnes & Noble. I checked the book out at my local library via Amazon so if you don’t want to purchase looking at your library would be a great option.

The thing that sticks out about these books is that we not only clean up and get rid of stuff but the whole thing is about WE KEEP WHAT MAKES US HAPPY. Let me repeat that, we only keep what “sparks Joy” in our lives. Sometimes that means that we have to get rid of something we were gifted many years ago and have held onto it for one reason or another even though we never use it and we barely even enjoy looking at tidy2it.

Another thing that sticks out in this process is to go at it by category rather than by room. This is contrary to most of what we’ve heard which is why it sticks out to me. Marie Kondo maps out 5 categories: clothing, books, paper, komono (miscellaneous), and sentimental. First you gather every clothing item and place them on the floor (or the bed, as I did) and physically touch each item one by one to see if it sparks joy. If it doesn’t, get rid of it. Then you do the same with the rest of the categories. There is a great printable here. Another blog to reference can also be found here.

Here are a few comments from others I spoke with who have done this method:

“It has been great for my mental health. Less anxiety triggering crap. Something I’d mention is that KM is very much a middle class privilege. To be able to throw out perfectly good clothes just because they’d don’t spark joy is something I am very grateful for.” -Nicholas

life’s too short to be surrounded by items you don’t love.” -Robin

“Drastically reduces your interest in shopping when you only buy things you really like and know you need a place to store it.” -Blair

“Definitely brought a sense of calm and tranquillity to my home.
Feels so peaceful in the bedroom especially” -Victoria

“Getting rid of books was/is the hardest part for me until I realized that this was a metaphor for my life. Holding on to stories that in many ways defined me felt safe. Making space for new books also meant making space for new ideas, new line of work, new friends. I see now that not only do you need to make time for new things to come into your life, you also need to make space.” -Maria

“I found the ‘wasted money’ hard to get over. At first I wanted to sell everything as I spent good money on items. I bagged up 8 bags in my first clothes KM but don’t have time to photograph and list items. I took the plunge and donated and chucked them and the relief of things being gone was instant and made me feel lighter. 28 bin bags later and I’ve not regretted not selling anything. I’m always interested to read how people overcome the ‘wasted money’ thoughts.” -Kerrie

I encourage everyone to give Marie Kondo’s method a shot. It may just change your life. If you have done this before, comment below with how it has helped you. I love hearing personal stories. I just started the method so I’m not done yet but it has really helped me enjoy living in our little studio.

As always, thank you for stopping to read my blog. I hope to hear from you in the comments. I enjoy your feedback. If there’s something specific you want to hear about, let me know.

“Mexico is a mosaic of different realities and beauties.” -Enrique Pena Nieto

17836970_1660350574273334_712357375_o          I first want to say I apologize for not posting on Tuesday. I got home later than planned. This post will actually be the one that should have been posted on Tuesday, so nothing will be missed.

On Saturday morning I left with my husband and my in-laws to go to Mexico. Not the Mexico that tourists flock to but the Mexico where my husband’s family resides. His grandma and many of his aunts, uncles, and cousins all still live in Mexico so his parents visit at least once a year. This is my second time visiting them so they all knew who I was. The first time I went was a couple of months before we got married so we were able to take them invitations.17837709_1660350420940016_1661096531_o

This time wasn’t much different from the last. We visited family, I understood very little because they all speak spanish (though a couple of them do speak English), we ate a ton of wonderful food, and walked around looking at all of the shops. We bought candy, Hector bought some shoes, I found a pair of boots that I love but they didn’t have my size, and we had so much food. So much so that I gained a few pounds that I now have to add that to my goal that I already had.

17820387_1660350500940008_176045479_o          One thing different from last time is the amount of spanish I learned. Last time I was too shy to actually ask about any spanish words but this time I was very into learning. I hope that I will one day be able to actually speak with Hector’s family but for now, I am a beginner. I will be the first to say that some of the words I learned won’t help me much but it was still fun to learn. I think the thing I loved the most was learning how to say baby animals. Hector’s grandma had little chicks in her backyard (pollitos) as well as one of her cats had 3 little kittens (gatitos).17820043_1660350464273345_735349511_o So, of course I learned how to say what they were. I also learned to say a couple of food things so that I could order for myself sometimes. For example, I was able to tell the person that I wanted a Strawberry Fanta at one of the places we went to eat tortas. If you have never had tortas, I highly recommend them because they are great.

 

As I mentioned previously, we ate A LOT. We probably ate too much, to be honest. But we don’t get good Mexican food here in the states very often so we took what we could get. A few things that we ate includes the following:

  • Tortas17837708_1660350517606673_878834059_o
  • Tacos
  • Mariscos
  • Churros
  • Mangoneadas
  • More tortas
  • More tacos
  • A stew with cactus in it (I have no idea what it was called, Hector’s grandma made it)

I absolutely loved the food and can’t wait to have it again. The picture to the right is actually one way that they made taco meat. I have to say that the place we ate this at makes the best tacos ever. Absolutely delicious. We hope to go again in October, when his parents are going to help Hector’s grandma fix up her house, but there is no guarantee. If not, at least I have pictures to drool over this time.

Anyway, as always please comment below. I’d like to hear your experiences in Mexico. If you’d like to see more of my content, please subscribe.

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