Tag Archives: school

“Don’t be discouraged Oh I realize It’s hard to take courage” -True Colors Lyrics

36517389_1849541408687582_7254849853488889856_nHello everyone! I apologize for being MIA for so long. Has it really been since May? Well, Not too much has changed in my life as of late. Still no work, still going to school, still dating the same guy. One thing to note is that I finished my Drama 1 class last week with an A, I actually loved it. I’m now focusing on my ASL 1 and Math classes that I have left this summer. I hope to post more about my ASL class later. Today I want to be real with everyone. Life is hard, sometimes it feels too hard. It’s even harder to admit that it’s hard for you. Sometimes you have to just pull yourself together in the morning and pretend you aren’t hurting inside.

I’ll be the first to admit that I feel this way sometimes. It’s been more often than not lately and I hate to burden people with my struggles because they’re already doing so much for me.

Life has been really discouraging lately. I have applied to over 100 places; office jobs, fast food, retail, child care. So far, I had two interviews, the first one I was emailed less than a week later saying they went with someone more qualified and the other one I knew I wasn’t going to get because the interviewer was really rude to me at the end. My bank also feels the need to remind me that I have $11 to my name right now because I don’t have a job. Thankfully I have people willing to support me with the things I need so I’m not homeless, starving, or having to drop school. But I don’t enjoy relying on others to buy me food, pay for my textbooks and school fees, living in a house with no way to chip in. I can’t even qualify for food stamps because I’m taking more than 6 college units and not working at least 20 hours a week. You may think I’m exaggerating but I’m not, that is literally the policy. Apparently if you’re going to school full-time, you can afford to pay for food yourself. I also was wanting to take up YouTube gaming and created my channel and everything but ran into an issue when my computer couldn’t run the software. So, I’m at a loss.

Now, I don’t share my struggles to get sympathy or to become a charity case. I tell you these things so you know where I’m coming from. I am discouraged and I’m struggling. I’m also not saying I’m not extremely grateful for all that those around me have done to help me be where I am right now. I am more indebted to those people than even imaginable. Michaela literally changed my life. 2018 has not been the year I had hoped it would be, it started out in the worst possible way and has been a swirling rollercoaster ever since.

The question remains, though. What am I going to do moving forward. Everyone has their opinions on what you should do to get back on track.  The following are my plans:

  • First, I will continue to focus on my education because that’s all I really can do right now. I am on my last year of community college and I’ll be done.
  • Second, I will be doing is writing. I want to write more of my book, I do have less than 4 years to make my goal so I need to get on it. I also want to write in my journal each day, even if I don’t have much to say.
  • Third, I will be diving back into bullet journaling. I have let it slip away as of late and I want it back, I felt so happy and together when I was bullet journaling.
  • Fourth, I will be working on my art. I got a drawing notebook and pencils and haven’t done much with them. I think it’s time I do that.
  • Fifth, I will be working on my health. The stress of the last several months has taken a toll on my body and it’s showing, anyone who has seen me lately can attest to that.

I think those things are a good start. Of course, I’ll still be trying to find a job but I need to take care of me because no one else can do that for me. No one can fix the inside when it’s hurt, only I can do that. And I am ready to do so.

I thank you all for being on this ride called life with me. I will be back posting every Monday, I was away for far too long. I thought about posting so often but I was in a rut that I couldn’t get out of. But being in school (physically rather than online) has helped me immensely and I am starting to feel a little bit more like myself. I want to be me again. I, of course, won’t be the same. We’re always changing and this year has changed me a lot.

Thank you for coming to my blog and I hope you keep coming back. My posts aren’t typically this heavy but I wanted people to know my heart.

I want to close this post with something very off topic, though. This coming Saturday is International Save the Vaquita Day. Check out this link here to see if there’s an event near you. And if you don’t know what vaquitas are, they are the world’s smallest porpoises and they are going extinct. There are about 12 left and they only live in one place, the gulf of Mexico. They are being killed because they are getting caught in illegal gill nets. If you can, donate to their cause. They are amazing creatures that are suffering at the hands of man.

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“Prayer is not asking. Prayer is putting oneself in the hands of God, at His disposition, and listening to His voice in the depth of our hearts.” ―Mother Teresa

This past week has been a test of my patients. The college I was planning to go back to keeps blocking all ways of progress for my degree and I was at the end of my rope. I didn’t know what else to do, I was ready to just give up. Instead, I prayed. When we take that leap of faith and pray, it will surprise you what answers will come to you. What came to me? Well, I was prompted to no longer pursue that school. If the institution is no longer willing to work with me, there is no reason to give them any more of my money or time.

Screen Shot 2018-04-30 at 10.20.21 AMLet me tell you all, this school is (in my experience) the worst one in California. Ever since I started there in 2011, I have run into issue after issue. Just last year they wanted to charge me for a book they misplaced. To make it worse, they were charging me more than a brand new book would cost. The book you can see here and in the image is the one they lost. The price is about $15 new and they wanted to charge me over $20. They were withholding my transcripts from being sent to Los Angeles Valley College (where I was transferring). Of course, I took matters into my own hands. I went above the whole staff at the college and I contacted the president of the school system. Yes, the president. Some may think, “why would you bother the president with a silly little book. Just pay the fee.” No, it wasn’t my book to pay for. It was not my fault they misplaced it. Once it is back at the library, it is no longer my responsibility. Well, a couple of days later, I received an email directly from him (crazy, right?) saying that he will be contacting the school to fix this problem. The best part? A couple of hours after receiving said email, I got a call from the school saying all holds and charges for the book had been dropped. What a shocker! It couldn’t have had anything to do with the president, could it?

You could imagine how tired I was of fighting this school by now, right? This is just one example of many and I thought that, when I moved to L.A., I would be done with them but I was so very wrong. Life put me in a place where I was going to go back to this awful place that I despised so very much. It’s not the teachers or the curriculum I dislike, though one teacher I had almost caused a fight between groups of students in the class twice due to her curriculum. No, it’s the staff in the admissions and records department. They are supposed to know more than they do but they don’t and they refuse to work with you to find out. I have had to turn to the counseling department for things admissions and records should have helped me with. The last 3 months have been a nightmare working with them because they are so incompetent.

This is why I prayed. I was ready to  just give up all that I had worked for. I was done, I couldn’t take it anymore. But when I prayed, I felt so much peace. I am about an hour away from the college I was going to go back to and there is another college in the town I’m in. I didn’t want to go to this other college because when I transfer to a university, I didn’t want to have to send transcripts from 3 different colleges. I wanted to just send 2 transcripts and be done with it. But sometimes the plan we have is not what is best. I am now preparing to go to this other college and I have discovered I will be able to receive 5 degrees and 3 certificates (Child and Adolescent Development AA-T, Early Childhood Education AS-T, English AA-T, University Studies in Elementary Teaching Preparation AA-T, Child Development AS, Child Development Teacher Certificate of Achievement, Child Development Assistant Skill Certificate, and Child Development Associate Teacher Skill Certificate). You may be thinking that it’s excessive and unnecessary but I honestly don’t have to do anything extra for these degrees. For example, the Early Childhood Education AS-T and the Child Development AS need the exact same courses.

Anyway, I wanted to let you all know that things really are looking up. I may not currently have a job but I am applying like crazy. I have school to keep me busy and friends on my side.

As always, thank you for visiting my blog. Keep visiting weekly to learn more about my life and the world around me. If you have every felt frustrated about your school, comment below with how you handled it. I love hearing from you! Until next time, have a great week!

“Do not read, as children do, to amuse yourself, or like the ambitious, for the purpose of instruction. No, read in order to live.” -Gustave Flaubert

summerreadinglist_istock_34481384_hires_983px          Today I decided that I would share my reading list. I keep adding to it because there are so many good books to read but I figured some of you would benefit from my list. I will put a check next to the ones I’ve read. So, here we go!

  1. ✔️ Spark Joy -Marie Kondo 
  2. ✔️ Daring Greatly -Brené Brown
  3. ✔️ The 5 Love Languages -Gary Chapman
  4. ✔️ The Miracle Morning -Hal Elrod
  5. The Metabolism Plan -Lyn-Genet Recitas
  6. The Latter-Day Morning -Mark Bacera
  7. Overcoming Destructive Anger -Bernard Golden
  8. Claim Your Power -Mastin Kipp
  9. Happiness: A Memoir:  The Crooked Little Road to Semi-Ever After -Heather Harpham
  10. Self-Esteem Bible: Build Your Confidence Day by Day -Gael Lindenfeild
  11. The Modern Girl’s Guide to Life -Jane Buckingham
  12. Your Best Year 2018: Life Edition -Lisa Jacobs
  13. The True INFP -Truity
  14. Rising Strong -Brené Brown
  15. I Thought I Was The Crazy One: 201 way to Identify and Deal with Toxic People -Amorah
  16. ✔️ Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix -JK Rowling
  17. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince -JK Rowling
  18. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows -JK Rowling
  19. ✔️ Wild -Cheryl Strayed
  20. Total Me-Tox -Beth Behrs
  21. Odd Birds -Ian Harding
  22. Tales of Beedle the Bard -JK Rowling
  23. What I wish I’d Known When I was 20 -Tina Seelig
  24. Bridget Jones’ Diary -Helen Fielding
  25. Buckland’s Complete Book of Witchcraft -Raymond Buckland
  26. The Time Traveler’s Wife -Audrey Niffenegger
  27. PCOS for Dummies -Gaynor Bussell and Sharon Perkins
  28. Organize Now! -Jennifer Ford Berry
  29. Madly in Love with Me: The daring Adventure of Becoming Your Own Best Friend -Christine Arylo
  30. My Zero-waste Kitchen: Easy Ways to eat Waste Free -Kate Turner

I added links to each book in case anyone wants to check them out on Amazon. Each book has something to offer, whether it be something to learn or a way to escape reality. I hope you all find your next read from this list! Let me know if you’ve read any of these books and how you liked (or disliked) them.

As always, thank you for visiting my blog. Keep coming back for more! Don’t forget, you can subscribe by email and a notification will come straight to your inbox when I post something new.

“Do not be afraid to ask for help. Nobody gets through college on their own.” -Michelle Obama

downloadCollege in and of itself is stressful, everyone knows that. Between homework, tests, reading, and your outside life there is so much to do. There are also many outside factors that could push back your estimated completion date. It’s a bummer when life gets in the way of what you want to do but it happens and there may be nothing you can do about it.

I started college in fall of 2011 at a community college and my life took a turn that I had not expected. The guy I had been in love with since I was 17 chose another woman over me. This caused my math grade to suffer and I failed the course. In spring of 2012 I moved out on my own and started volunteering more and started focusing less on my education, like not doing all of my homework. I failed my math class a second time, my astronomy class, and political science.

280px-Chevrolet_Metro_sedanFall of 2012 was definitely the worst semester of all, however. I enrolled in 2 English courses, history, tennis (because PE is required), photography, and child development. In this semester I started getting a fever almost every other week starting the second week of school. The doctors didn’t know what issue was so it was never addressed. I was also in 2 car accidents, neither being the fault of my own. The day after my second accident, that basically totalled my Geo Metro LSi, my aunt and uncle moved out-of-state. Next, my long-term boyfriend and I broke up, I was sexually assaulted by my neighbor, and I moved into Hector’s parent’s house. Due to all of this, I stopped going to school and failed all of my classes. It was also at this time that I decided to go on a mission.

My mission resulted in me taking 2 years off of school, which is what I thought I needed. When I returned, I started taking 2 classes each semester. I was doing wonderfully there for a bit. But then in 2016, Hector and I moved to L.A. and I had to transfer. This pushed my education back further. I was actually scheduled to be done this semester but I, again, dropped all of my classes and I left to Missouri for a month to clear my head. This my graduation date being pushed again. I went back to L.A. because I knew I wanted to finish my degrees but I was once again sexually assaulted at my place of residence by a neighbor and I had no choice but to move.

I am now enrolled in my third community college and I believe that if I stick with it, I will completely done next spring semester. It took a long time but I’m getting there. It will be a joyous occasion that you will all hear about (hopefully next year). Next stop? Bachelor’s degree!

Thank you all for visiting my blog, as always. I hope you enjoy your view of my thoughts. If you have any comments, concerns, or questions please post them below.

“No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.” -Robin Williams

Forget about my 26 before 26 list! Here is my new and improved 30 before 30 list…

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  1. Read at least 30 books
  2. Learn to let go of the past
  3. Love myself again
  4. Go white water rafting
  5. Grow out my hair
  6. Reach and maintain a healthy weight
  7. Take a cooking class
  8. Finish and publish my book
  9. Fall in love with life
  10. Go backpacking for a week
  11. Revamp my personal style
  12. Forgive people who hurt me
  13. Do something that absolutely terrifies me
  14. Learn a new skill
  15. Get and keep a job I enjoy
  16. Visit a state or country I’ve never been to
  17. Let love happen
  18. Get a cat or dog
  19. Find God again
  20. Keep up with my blog
  21. Go to a concert
  22. Learn some sign language
  23. Find beauty in the mundane
  24. Get in touch with old friends
  25. Learn to enhance my beauty
  26. Meet with a chiroproctor
  27. Brighten someone’s day
  28. Learn yoga
  29. Follow Marie Kondo’s rules for tidying up
  30. Be positive, always.

If you made it all the way through my list, you probably have questions. Let me give you a little background on how and why I came up with these items, one by one.

  1. I’m sure many of you know by now that I love reading. I always have a goal to read a certain number of books in a certain amount of time. I never reach that goal. For example, for my 26 before 26 list, I had a goal of reading 26 books. Insane, right? 26 books in one year is a far reach for me and I know that. It was crazy to make that goal. You may think that 30 books before I’ 30 is a big goal as well, but I’m giving myself 5 years! I’m counting the books I already read this year, because why not. Just so you all know, I finished 7 books this year so far.
  2. Learning to let go of the past is something that we all need to do in life. Some of us realise early on that our past holds us back. For me, it took a long while. But I figured it out! Better late than never, right?
  3. Self love is vital. We can’t get far in life if we don’t love ourselves. I’ve been feeling down about myself, the way I look, everything. It’s unhealthy and I want it to end.
  4. White water rafting is something I’ve wanted to do since I was a teenager but never had the chance to do. I will be doing it in the next 4 years, though. No excuses.
  5. Growing out my hair kinda goes with self love. It makes me feel better about myself when I have long, healthy hair.
  6. My weight is my main source of low self-esteem. I don’t feel good when I look at myself in the mirror. I’m overweight and I know that. But I am ready to make a change.
  7. I want to take a cooking class because, well, why not? It’s something fun to do in the community.
  8. Finishing my book is something I’ve talked about for YEARS. And I do mean years. Maybe 5 years? Probably more. It’s high time I stopped saying it and just do it.
  9. I want to love my life. People say that there is nothing about life to love but oh are they wrong. I want to love the life I live. I don’t have to love what’s going on in the world but I do want to love what I do, say, feel, experience. I want to feel optimistic in all things.
  10. If you check out the Wilderness Girl tab, you know that I was supposed to go backpacking this past summer with my best friends in the whole world, Michaela. But I landed my job at Universal so that didn’t happen. Instead, We pushed it back. Well, it will happen and I can’t wait for it. Maybe this summer? Who knows!
  11. I have a personal style board on Pinterest of things I would love to wear but I hate shopping for clothes because I feel so ugly in so many things. I hate most of my wardrobe but I don’t want to but new things because I want to lose weight first. It’s a never ending cycle…or it was. I’m breaking that cycle this year!
  12. I have held on to pain for too long, I need to let it all go.
  13. We’re supposed to do something every day that scares us, right? Well, what about the things that absolutely terrify us? I’m doing that sometime in the next couple years.
  14. I want to learn a new skill, I’m not sure what that skill is yet but I want to learn it!
  15. I loved my job at Universal so much, unfortunately it just wasn’t in the cards to keep it. I am on the hunt for a job I enjoy just as much, if not more.
  16. Like most people, I love to travel. I want to visit a state, or country (Canada?) that I’ve never been to because why not?
  17. Let love happen. Don’t force it.
  18. I want a cat or dog so bad. I love them, I miss my cat Socks so much.
  19. Finding God again is one that may have thrown people off. This one I can’t really explain without going to personal and I just can’t do that today. In another blog post maybe. But not today.
  20. Keep up with my blog. I’ve said it time and time again. I’ve failed, time and time again. I am determined. I started off strong this year, though so I’m improving!
  21. I’ve gone to one concert, Raven Symone at the Fresno Fair. I want to go to a big concert, like Imagine Dragons or Taylor Swift.
  22. Sign language is a very powerful language. I want to learn so that I can comunicate with people who are hard of hearing.
  23. I think there is hidden beauty in everything and I intend to find it.
  24. Have you ever told someone that you’d keep in touch and then never do? Well, I have and I want to keep that. I am determined to keep in touch with them.
  25. Enhancing beauty isn’t all centered around makeup. It’s also about how you dress, how you carry yourself, everything.
  26. I have issues that I would like addressed by a chiropractor. It’s pretty self explanatory, I think.
  27. Who doesn’t want to brighten someone else’s day?
  28. I have friends who do yoga and I want to learn.
  29. I started the Marie Kondo rules but never finished because so much stuff was in storage. Then I just gave up.
  30. Always being positive is probably the hardest. I am trying, though. That’s why matters. I want to be an optimist not a pessimist.

If you have a 30 before 30 list, share with us below what you have. As always, thank you for visiting my blog. Until next time!

“An anniversary is a time to celebrate the joys of today, the memories of yesterday, and the hopes of tomorrow.” -Unknown

My topic for today is MY 5TH ANNIVERSARY of having this blog. I am grateful for everyone who has stuck with me. I may not be the most consistent blogger or the most interesting but you have been here for me though it all. From my first post, “A smile happens in a flash, but its memory can last a lifetime” to my wedding plans and trips around the US. So much has happened in my life and I am glad I get to share it with you. I am grateful for those who have been with me the whole five years and for those who are just joining me in my adventures.

I just can’t believe that it really has been 5 years since I opened this account and began sharing my stories with the world. Literally, people from all over the world have viewed my blog, something I thought would never happen. I may not have millions of followers or be any sort of popular in the blogosphere but I am here and I am happy.

I hope you all keep coming back and enjoying my content. And for now, enjoy this amazing song that came to my mind.

“Have no fear These are nowhere near The best years of your life” -Brad Paisley

Dear 16-year-old Carra,

16          Your life will change in the next year and I know it will be hard. Just remember that there are people who love you and are here for you. You will be able to grow and learn so much because you will be getting out of your comfort zone. You’ll lose people you love, you’ll move twice in one year, and you’ll grow closer to Heavenly Father.
When given the opportunity to go see Mountain Grove High School, you’ll do it, you’ll meet the counselor and come out of the meeting ready to move. Actually ask questions this time, don’t be afraid. It’ll be exciting but sad. Leaving your friends will be hard, it is worth it.
See your mom before you move. It’ll eat at you if you don’t. She wanted to say 16 3goodbye but you left before she could. Also, spend more time packing and less time playing. You’ll have a week to pack all of your stuff. Make sure you put Whoonu in a safe spot so you don’t lose it because if you don’t you’ll find out it’s $60 when you’re looking into buying it again.
There will be many boys interested in you, say no to all of them. I mean it, all of them. Don’t even text Casey after Christmas, you’ll thank me later. Boys are no good and you deserve better than all of them. Having Dakota as a friend is enough, he’s a nice guy. But seriously, do not date any of them.
16 1          Don’t give your friend Megan money because you’ll never get it back. Also, don’t spend your first week not eating and hiding in the bathroom at lunchtime. Make friends.You will become really good friends with the girl who you have almost every class with, her name is Shelby. She’ll introduce you to people and you’ll become “popular” because everyone in your grade knows you.
When your English class gets into a discussion about Mormons, don’t be afraid to turn it into a teaching moment. Straightening out the lies will help them in the long run. Tell Derek that chocolate doesn’t destroy your soul, tell Rachel that we are Christian, stun everyone because they had no idea there was a Mormon in the class. You can do it, don’t be shy.
Another thing to consider is your career project in Personal Finance. You’re 16 2thinking about doing it on OB GYN. Don’t. That’s not really what you want to be, you want to be a teacher or a writer. Don’t pick OB GYN just because it makes more money and it goes with what your classmates are doing. Be yourself Carra, it’s ok.
Finally, don’t yell at your grandparents. You’re going to miss them one day and all of those times you screamed and fought will flood your mind for a time. Try to see it from their point of view. Also, learn all you can from grandma, make it a point to cook with her. Ask her about her life. If you don’t, you’ll regret it later in life.
You are a very smart, beautiful, and caring young woman. Don’t let anyone change that or tell you different. Stay close to your family, spend time with them. Garden with grandma, play pool with grandpa. You’ll miss out on all of that if you don’t. They love you and I love you. Stay strong.

Sincerely,
25-year-old Carra

“You want, as an artist, to be pushing yourself to do what you haven’t done before.” -T. C. Boyle

17407585_1653152884993103_355375473_o          On Thursday evening I was given the opportunity to meet one of my favorite authors. T.C. Boyle came to Reedley College and I jumped at the chance to see him. I didn’t always name him as one of my favorite authors, I was actually just introduced to his work last summer when I had to purchase Tortilla Curtain for a class I was enrolled in but had to drop. I then had to buy the T.C. Boyle Stories II for my current fictional writing class.

T.C. Boyle’s visit was the last of a whole set of speakers at Reedley College but he was the only one I was able to go see. I17430962_1653152811659777_1552946766_o had known about his spot shortly after the
semester began so it’s been on the calendar for about two months. Going to see him in person and listen to him read “Chicxulub” made me have an even deeper appreciation for him and his writing.

Many may not have ever heard of T.C. Boyle but I encourage you to read any of his amazing stories or novels. If you ever have the chance to go and listen to him live, I would hope you would take that opportunity just as I did. I will post a few notes I took so you can get a feeling for what he said.17474292_1653152838326441_1942343247_o

  • Went to public school in New York
  • Middle Class family
  • He wrote Tortilla Curtain to sort out all of his feelings
  • Everything he writes is a kind of dream
  • He says he’s not retired, he’s “pre-dead”
  • Art takes you out of yourself
  • Advice on how to become a writer: come from a wealthy family (LOL)
  • If it doesn’t work after 2 pages, throw it away
  • Water Music was is first novel and it is his favorite
  • If you want to write, you need to read

Again, it was such an honor to meet T.C. Boyle and I encourage everyone to go out and get familiar with his work because you won’t be sorry.

17474100_1653152724993119_1124326754_o          If you have read his work or have had the opportunity to meet with him, please tell me what your favorite story or novel is that his has written. One that really sticks with me is his short story “The Underground Gardens” because it takes a historical place in Fresno and turns it into a story that is so raw, and so beautiful. I almost wish that it was longer so that I could read more.

As always, I am very grateful for you coming to my blog. Feel free to comment below with any questions about seeing T.C. Boyle.

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“Don’t worry about what you’re writing or whether it’s good or even whether it makes sense.” -Lauren Oliver

Do you know what time it is? It’s time to prepare for Camp NaNoWriMo. If you saw my nano.pngpost from November about NaNoWriMo then you might know a little bit about it. If not, it’s ok. NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month. You are challenged to write 50,000 words in the month of November. So what does that have to do with right now? Well, in the months of April and July there is this things called Camp NaNoWriMo. For these two months, you set your own goal for writing and you work to hit that goal. One really cool thing about Camp NaNoWriMo is that you get to be in a group called a cabin. It is a small group, there is a max of 11 people in each cabin. I am in a cabin with other writers who are also Bullet Journal enthusiast.

The reason I am writing about this now, at the beginning of March, is to let people know about this awesome thing going on. I just signed up yesterday and will be preparing for April. I made a goal of 22,000 words. You can make any goal you want, some people in my cabin have a goal of 12,000. It’s really up to you and what you feel comfortable writing. It was a little difficult to get in the 50,000 words back in November and I didn’t win NaNoWriMo but I plan on winning at Camp NaNoWriMo.

To get started, you must visit the Camp NaNoWriMo site. If you have done any type of NaNoWriMo before, then all you have to do is sign in with your username/email and password from your account. If you forgot your password, like me, then you can click “forgot password” and you are able to make a new password. You just need access to the email you signed up with. If you haven’t done it before, then you would click the “join now” button on the left side of the page.

If you are unsure about whether you want to sign up for this or not, visit the Camp NaNoWriMo about page. You don’t have to write a novel, you can write a bunch of poems or a script or even a few children’s books. You are in charge here. Make the goal, whether it be hours spent writing, words to be written, or pages, you make it and strive to hit it or even exceed that. If you still have questions or concerns after visiting the about page, I would suggest the Camp NaNoWriMo FAQ page.

So, you’ve signed up. Now what do yo do? You have to set up your profile, try to add a picture to your account as well. Your picture can be of whatever you want, it doesn’t have to be a selfie, it doesn’t even have to have a person in the picture. My picture is my husband and I. Once you have your profile set up, set up your project profile. You don’t have to include a title for your project, I’ve seen plenty of people who don’t have one yet. Just make your goal and you’re ready. There are multiple ways to be in a group. If you know people, have them invite you to their group. You could also go on the NaNoWriMo Forums to read the “Finding Cabin Mates” post. Another option you have is to make your own cabin, if you have friends you’d like to join you. Your last option is to be randomly sorted into a cabin. For many people, this option works out wonderfully. If I didn’t already have a cabin I wanted to join, I would have selected that option. If you want nothing to do with cabins, that is ok too. There’s an option for you as well.

You now have your camper profile, your project all set up, and your cabin figured out. What’s next? Well, now is the time that you map out what your project will be about and how you want to get from 0 words to, in my case, 22,000 words. You don’t have to plan anything, some don’t. This whole thing is up to you.

If you’re doing Camp NaNoWriMo, please comment below with your username so we can all be friends! Remember: You can do it!! And, as always, thank you for reading. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

“How often are we to die before we go quite off this stage? In every friend we lose a part of ourselves, and the best part.” -Alexander Pope

As we get older, our lives change. The things were valued when we were 5 are not the same things we valued at 16 and the things we valued at 16 are, most likely, different from the things we value most in our adulthood. We may move away from home, experience the death of a loved one, or even the birth of our own children. Some changes are hard to cope with while others are accepted with open arms. One of the more difficult ones that I have recently dealt with is loosing a dear friend.

As we age, we find that the friends we had in high school are probably going to go on different paths in life from you. Every once in a while we find that one friend, sometimes two, who stick with us through all of those changes. They’re what we all call our best friend. You don’t see anyway that would make your friendship end because you’re just too close. But then, life throws you a curve ball and you’re leaving her house at midnight because she hurt you in an unforgivable way. You go days, weeks, months without saying a word to her. You see that she’s happy, even with you gone, while you’re trying hard to stop the flow of tears. It’s not a happy time in your life. It’s harder than when the guy you were in love with broke up with you. She knows all of your secrets, she’s the one you talked to when anything (big or little) happened in your life and all you want it to have that again. But you can’t. You can’t have that again because she broke your heart in a way you never thought possible.

17238931_1647987095509682_603771781_nIf you’ve never experienced such a pain as I just described, then you are very lucky. I actually experienced this more than once. The first time started in high school. After several years of barely talking, we are actually on good terms. We are not where we used to be, we may never get there, but we are still friends and we do care about each other. The second time happened on March 4, 2017. I won’t go into details but when I was verbally attacked by two people I thought were supposed to be my friends. I wasn’t going to sit around and let it happen so I left. I left the house in the middle of the night and walked down the street. I left all of my stuff that I had with me, I had no jacket, I didn’t even have any plans. I just made a couple of phone calls until I found someone able to pick me up and take me out of there. I felt numb. Not just from being cold but from the torture I was just put through. The one person I trusted with my life, let me down.

I haven’t talked to her, I can’t. There’s nothing left to say. I still very much care about her but I just can’t get over what I was put through. At least not right now. I spent three days crying off and on because of it. My heart is aching. But the words that were said cannot be taken back. Nor will they even try. Them wanting me to accept their harsh words is more important that friendship, which hurt even more when I was told that.

I’m not posting this to call anyone out or to get sympathy from my readers. I am posting this because I want my readers to know that you are not alone in the pain you feel after losing your best friend. I’m not the first person to every experience this and I most certainly will not be the last.

I decided to do a bit of research on dealing with a “Best Friend Breakup” and I was pleasantly surprised that there was a lot out there on Google pertaining to the topic. Here are a few things that I took away from my Google search:

  1. “Friend breakups tend to go unacknowledged, which can contribute to why people suffer so much from them. When the public response is ‘Eh, it happens,’ you feel like you shouldn’t be mourning as much as you are.” (How to Deal—and Heal—When a Friend Breaks Up With You)
  2. The closer you were to the friend you broke up with, the more you’re going to hurt. So give yourself adequate grieving time. (How to Deal—and Heal—When a Friend Breaks Up With You)
  3. Don’t get down on yourself if you find that you need more time. (How to Deal—and Heal—When a Friend Breaks Up With You)
  4. Try not to disavow all the good times you and your former friend had. (How to Deal—and Heal—When a Friend Breaks Up With You)
  5. The 13 steps on wikiHow to Get Over the Loss of a Best Friend
  6.  Buzzfeed’s article “17 Things Anyone Who’s Ever Had A Friend Breakup Knows
  7. Let yourself cry it out (Surviving a Friendship Break Up)
  8. Write a letter to your friend that you never intend to send (Surviving a Friendship Break Up)
  9. It may seem obvious, but don’t force your other friends to take sides. Get comfortable with the fact that they may still spend a great deal of time with your ex-gal pal and that this is no reflection on you. (Surviving a Friendship Break Up)
  10. Just like dating, sometimes you have to be the one to take the first step (Surviving a Friendship Break Up)
  11. Put yourself first and make sure you are getting plenty of sleep, eating well and sticking to your usual routine. (Friend breakups are the worst – here’s how to handle them)
  12. You’ll need to surround yourself with other friends and family if you have lost a close friend, and it’s important to keep up with your social commitments, so that you don’t sit at home feeling increasingly depressed and isolated. (Friend breakups are the worst – here’s how to handle them)
  13. It’s normal to sit around going over things in your head and wondering what went wrong – this is how we grieve the loss of a person in our lives and it’s an important part of the healing process. (Friend breakups are the worst – here’s how to handle them)
  14. Be optimistic and remember that just because you have lost a friendship, doesn’t mean there won’t be more opportunities for new friends in your life! (Friend breakups are the worst – here’s how to handle them)
  15. If you are struggling to come to terms with the friend-shaped hole in your life, talking to other friends and family members can help you get some perspective. If you’re feeling really low, seek support from a counsellor or therapist (Friend breakups are the worst – here’s how to handle them)
  16. Don’t spill secrets that the two of you once had. (8 Ways To Survive A Best Friend Breakup)
  17. Don’t look at their social media. Like most break ups, when you look at their social media you’ll see that they went out with a different group of girls and jealousy will strike. (8 Ways To Survive A Best Friend Breakup)

I promise it will get better. It takes time but healing will come. I’m not there yet but I know I will be. Just like when a relationship ends, this friends breakup won’t end the world. There are people who want to be there for you, even if it doesn’t seem like it. I’m here for you.

If you have your own tips for healing after a best friends breakup, please comment below. I’d love to read them! As always, thank you for coming to my blog! Hit the follow button to stay up to date on all things in the life.