Tag Archives: Random

“Beauty, to me, is about being comfortable in your own skin. That, or a kick-ass red lipstick.” ―Gwyneth Paltrow

Something that has been on my mind a lot lately is my outward appearance. For most of my life, I wore little to no makeup and comfy clothes. But as you get older your fashion tends to change. I have been wanting to buy makeup and learn how to actually apply it. I have been wanting to buy clothes that aren’t just jeans, t-shirts, or yoga pants. Yes, I have a new-found love for joggers but I know there is a time and a place for everything. I wear yoga pants and joggers to school because I have yoga class as my first class of the day and don’t feel the need to change.

Now, I am by no means telling you that you need to dress better or wear makeup to feel like an adult. No way, not at all. Do what you feel comfortable in. I, however, have acne that I want to cover up and I want to just dress overall better than I have in the past.

Unfortunately, acne is something that goes with having PCOS. It may clear up if I had a better diet and exercised regularly but right now I’m not. And I know that makeup can enhance the beauty I already have. I don’t want makeup because I think I’m ugly and want to hide who I am. I just want to enhance my beauty. Also, acne makes me look younger than I am and people tend to treat “younger” child care workers different from older ones.

And for those whose main argument against makeup is that it’s just to hide behind something, no. That’s ridiculous. If you say that women wear makeup to impress boys, yes, some do but most want to wear makeup for themselves. It makes them happy. And don’t forget, makeup used to be for men…so stop shaming people for wearing it.

I’ll get off my soap box for now on that. I just wanted to share my thoughts that I’ve had lately on the matter. Do you wear makeup? What YouTubers do you watch? Share below! As always, thank you for coming to my blog and listening to me ramble.

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“In nine lifetimes, you’ll never know as much about your cat as your cat knows about you.” –Michel de Montaigne

53294689_365469507620410_5291858716121890816_nThis week, I don’t have much to report…which is a good and bad thing I suppose. One fun thing that did occur this week, however, is my cat Olivander turning one year old. I didn’t throw him a party or make him a kitty cake but I did have a mini photo shoot with him. We both had fun and the photos look great. Of course, they are nowhere near professional, but it was worth every second. As you can see in the photo, we used some wand props because he is named after the great Ollivander himself…just a little spelling difference.

Another thing that happened this week was that I finally met with a counselor in college who knows her stuff. It’s a miracle, I know. I am on track on she will hep me fill out all of my paperwork for every degree when it is time. She also will help me see what universities will be accepting spring 2020 admissions so that’s awesome. I was only in her office for about ten minutes and it helped me so much more than any 30-60 minute meeting I’ve had with counselors before. She was on top of everything and had my file all ready for me before I even went into her office. She answered all of my questions and was very straight with me and for that, I am grateful.

53327487_326011561373125_6186254980857462784_nLastly, I just want to say how powerful music can be. I just put all of the music from my external hard drive onto my new laptop and started listening to music I haven’t heard in so long. One of my personal favorites my freshman year of high school is below and I felt all of those feelings and memories come flooding back. Have you every had a moment like that with music? You haven’t heard a song in 10+ years and when you heard it again for the first time, everything comes flooding back. It’s crazy how music can have such and impact on us, for good or bad.

Anyway, I know this was kind of a random catch up with Carra post. I hope you enjoyed it and enjoy the song below. I hope you come back next week for more content. Have a great week and weekend!

“Stopping a piece of work just because it’s hard, either emotionally or imaginatively, is a bad idea. Sometimes you have to go on when you don’t feel like it.” -Stephen King

It’s November again everyone. You know what that means? It’s National Novel Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo for short. NaNoWriMo is exactly what it sounds like, one month dedicated to writing a novel. The goal? To write 50,000 words in the 30 days of November. If you want to visit the official site, click here.

I tried to do it in 2016 and got to 40,000 words and this year my goal is to actually win. By win, I mean complete 50,000 words. I’m hoping to finally have my book finished this year and my first draft typed up and ready for my beta readers by my birthday next year.

Of course, on day five, I am behind. This is due to two things; decided on day three to actually participate this year and me procrastinating. I spent weeks going back and forth on the idea of doing NaNoWriMo this year. So far, the last two years I’ve decided to participate, something big happens in my life. My friend gets hit by a car, I start going through a divorce. I’m confident nothing drastic will happen this year, though.

There is so much out there about NaNoWriMo and it can get crazy but it’s also exciting. Something I found recently that made me feel good was this page here. Who knew that a popular book series such as Cinder was started during NaNoWriMo?

Thank you for visiting my blog and I hope you continue coming back. Comment below to let me know if you’ve ever participated in NaNoWriMo or if you think my goals for my book are reasonable. For cool videos on NaNoWriMo, visit here.

 

“Like all pure creatures, cats are practical.” -William S. Burroughs

I apologize for not posting last week, a lot has happened. This isn’t a post about PCOS this week, though I know that it is still September. Instead, it’s about why there was nothing written last week.

oliLast Monday, on my way home from school, I found a cat in the bushes. He was very friendly so I took him home and took pictures of him to post on Facebook. Turns out, he was an abandoned cat. A nearby woman had been giving him food but was unable to keep him due to her husband being allergic. So, meet Olivander; a fun, cuddly 4 month old kitten.

In just one week he has had so many changes in his life. He was living outside for who knows how long and now lives in a house. He got fixed on Friday and has had an infection that we are giving him medicine for. I’d say his life is pretty great right now. As is mine, I always loved cats and I’m so happy to have my own. I’ve never cared for a cat on my own before so this will be a new adventure.

I also signed him up for a photo contest because he is an adorable cat. Please vote here to show your support. You can vote every 10 minutes, 10 times per day (unless you wanna pay). We are currently at 14 votes and we want to be in the top ten. Thank you for your votes!

As always, I hope you enjoyed my random post. There will probably be more about Olivander on my blog, since he is my new baby. Check back weekly for posts like this and more. Have a great week!

“In your name, the family name is at last because it’s the family name that lasts.” ― Amit Kalantri

I apologize for being a little later today. I hope everyone is enjoying their Labor Day.

Today I wanted to talk about something that I was actually doing last night. Have you ever looked into your family tree? Have you ever wondered if you were related to your friends or famous people? Well, I have. And thankfully there’s a place to check that out. Visit the website here.

Relative Finder has helped me find out some really cool things about my family. For example, I grew up being told by my dad that I am part Native American. But I look at myself and don’t see it. Plus, he has no evidence to back this claim. I never really believed him, and had good reason not to given previous history. Well, fast forward to last night and I decide to hop onto Relative Finder to see if any more of my friends would like to see if we’re related. Of course, no one had done it other than the two people who did it a couple of years ago.

I continue to look around the site and decide to look at my relatives. There is an option to see direct relatives or all (like cousins, aunts, and uncles) so I decide to click direct. Low and behold, there is was! My dad hadn’t just made up some story. I am related to the one and only Pocahontas. The real person the Disney movie is based on! She is my 13th great-grandmother. Needless to say, I am ecstatic and decide to keep looking.

Of course, I could go on forever listing all the cool people I am related to but I won’t. I will encourage you all to check out the website though. Of course, this will only work if you have a Family Search account, so you should make one and start adding to your family tree. And no, you don’t have to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in order to create a free account, it’s free for everyone.

Let me know in the comments who you’re related to. And if you want to join the group I made specifically for you guys, search for Carra’s Blog Followers and the password is blog or join with the link here.

As always, thank you for stopping by. I hope to see you all next week and I hope to have my blog out at a normal time. Again, I apologize that this blog is so late.

“If Grendel Wins, it will be a gruesome day” -Beowulf

Unfortunately this is a little later than I like to post but with the start of fall semester, things have been a bit busy. However, I promised you (and myself) content so here it is.

Have you ever read Beowulf? For enjoyment? For an assignment? Well, I’m on my second time reading it for school and I wanted to share a little bit of my thoughts on it. It’s a great epic poem, no doubt about that. And I love that Beowulf wants to defeat Grendel for Hygelac’s fame rather than his own. I think that’s wonderful!

It actually made me think about people in our society today. How many people would say they want to fight an undefeated monster for the fame of someone else? Go ahead, I’m waiting. Yeah, I can’t think of anyone either. They may be out there, who knows. But that’s the thing. In olden times, you didn’t do things for self fame, you did them for the fame of your ruler. And you still did them the best you could. I’m not saying times were better back then, heck, women weren’t treated to great so I’d never want to live in that time period.

To have people do things for other people, though. How amazing that would be. All too often, people do things and expect recognition, rewards, something. Our society hardly even does service anymore. And that’s nowhere near fighting a scary monster.

I know I’m rambling but reading this made me really look at the state of our society and boy has it gotten me down. So, to cheer me up, you know what I did? I listened to a song from the soundtrack to Beowulf. So, here ya go!

And I’m sorry you had to endure my nonsense, it’s 2:00am and I’m running on no sleep. I just really wanted to share this song and my thoughts. Enjoy! And next week won’t be a bunch of nonsense.

“Prayer is not asking. Prayer is putting oneself in the hands of God, at His disposition, and listening to His voice in the depth of our hearts.” ―Mother Teresa

This past week has been a test of my patients. The college I was planning to go back to keeps blocking all ways of progress for my degree and I was at the end of my rope. I didn’t know what else to do, I was ready to just give up. Instead, I prayed. When we take that leap of faith and pray, it will surprise you what answers will come to you. What came to me? Well, I was prompted to no longer pursue that school. If the institution is no longer willing to work with me, there is no reason to give them any more of my money or time.

Screen Shot 2018-04-30 at 10.20.21 AMLet me tell you all, this school is (in my experience) the worst one in California. Ever since I started there in 2011, I have run into issue after issue. Just last year they wanted to charge me for a book they misplaced. To make it worse, they were charging me more than a brand new book would cost. The book you can see here and in the image is the one they lost. The price is about $15 new and they wanted to charge me over $20. They were withholding my transcripts from being sent to Los Angeles Valley College (where I was transferring). Of course, I took matters into my own hands. I went above the whole staff at the college and I contacted the president of the school system. Yes, the president. Some may think, “why would you bother the president with a silly little book. Just pay the fee.” No, it wasn’t my book to pay for. It was not my fault they misplaced it. Once it is back at the library, it is no longer my responsibility. Well, a couple of days later, I received an email directly from him (crazy, right?) saying that he will be contacting the school to fix this problem. The best part? A couple of hours after receiving said email, I got a call from the school saying all holds and charges for the book had been dropped. What a shocker! It couldn’t have had anything to do with the president, could it?

You could imagine how tired I was of fighting this school by now, right? This is just one example of many and I thought that, when I moved to L.A., I would be done with them but I was so very wrong. Life put me in a place where I was going to go back to this awful place that I despised so very much. It’s not the teachers or the curriculum I dislike, though one teacher I had almost caused a fight between groups of students in the class twice due to her curriculum. No, it’s the staff in the admissions and records department. They are supposed to know more than they do but they don’t and they refuse to work with you to find out. I have had to turn to the counseling department for things admissions and records should have helped me with. The last 3 months have been a nightmare working with them because they are so incompetent.

This is why I prayed. I was ready to  just give up all that I had worked for. I was done, I couldn’t take it anymore. But when I prayed, I felt so much peace. I am about an hour away from the college I was going to go back to and there is another college in the town I’m in. I didn’t want to go to this other college because when I transfer to a university, I didn’t want to have to send transcripts from 3 different colleges. I wanted to just send 2 transcripts and be done with it. But sometimes the plan we have is not what is best. I am now preparing to go to this other college and I have discovered I will be able to receive 5 degrees and 3 certificates (Child and Adolescent Development AA-T, Early Childhood Education AS-T, English AA-T, University Studies in Elementary Teaching Preparation AA-T, Child Development AS, Child Development Teacher Certificate of Achievement, Child Development Assistant Skill Certificate, and Child Development Associate Teacher Skill Certificate). You may be thinking that it’s excessive and unnecessary but I honestly don’t have to do anything extra for these degrees. For example, the Early Childhood Education AS-T and the Child Development AS need the exact same courses.

Anyway, I wanted to let you all know that things really are looking up. I may not currently have a job but I am applying like crazy. I have school to keep me busy and friends on my side.

As always, thank you for visiting my blog. Keep visiting weekly to learn more about my life and the world around me. If you have every felt frustrated about your school, comment below with how you handled it. I love hearing from you! Until next time, have a great week!

“Do not read, as children do, to amuse yourself, or like the ambitious, for the purpose of instruction. No, read in order to live.” -Gustave Flaubert

summerreadinglist_istock_34481384_hires_983px          Today I decided that I would share my reading list. I keep adding to it because there are so many good books to read but I figured some of you would benefit from my list. I will put a check next to the ones I’ve read. So, here we go!

  1. ✔️ Spark Joy -Marie Kondo 
  2. ✔️ Daring Greatly -Brené Brown
  3. ✔️ The 5 Love Languages -Gary Chapman
  4. ✔️ The Miracle Morning -Hal Elrod
  5. The Metabolism Plan -Lyn-Genet Recitas
  6. The Latter-Day Morning -Mark Bacera
  7. Overcoming Destructive Anger -Bernard Golden
  8. Claim Your Power -Mastin Kipp
  9. Happiness: A Memoir:  The Crooked Little Road to Semi-Ever After -Heather Harpham
  10. Self-Esteem Bible: Build Your Confidence Day by Day -Gael Lindenfeild
  11. The Modern Girl’s Guide to Life -Jane Buckingham
  12. Your Best Year 2018: Life Edition -Lisa Jacobs
  13. The True INFP -Truity
  14. Rising Strong -Brené Brown
  15. I Thought I Was The Crazy One: 201 way to Identify and Deal with Toxic People -Amorah
  16. ✔️ Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix -JK Rowling
  17. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince -JK Rowling
  18. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows -JK Rowling
  19. ✔️ Wild -Cheryl Strayed
  20. Total Me-Tox -Beth Behrs
  21. Odd Birds -Ian Harding
  22. Tales of Beedle the Bard -JK Rowling
  23. What I wish I’d Known When I was 20 -Tina Seelig
  24. Bridget Jones’ Diary -Helen Fielding
  25. Buckland’s Complete Book of Witchcraft -Raymond Buckland
  26. The Time Traveler’s Wife -Audrey Niffenegger
  27. PCOS for Dummies -Gaynor Bussell and Sharon Perkins
  28. Organize Now! -Jennifer Ford Berry
  29. Madly in Love with Me: The daring Adventure of Becoming Your Own Best Friend -Christine Arylo
  30. My Zero-waste Kitchen: Easy Ways to eat Waste Free -Kate Turner

I added links to each book in case anyone wants to check them out on Amazon. Each book has something to offer, whether it be something to learn or a way to escape reality. I hope you all find your next read from this list! Let me know if you’ve read any of these books and how you liked (or disliked) them.

As always, thank you for visiting my blog. Keep coming back for more! Don’t forget, you can subscribe by email and a notification will come straight to your inbox when I post something new.

“Do not be afraid to ask for help. Nobody gets through college on their own.” -Michelle Obama

downloadCollege in and of itself is stressful, everyone knows that. Between homework, tests, reading, and your outside life there is so much to do. There are also many outside factors that could push back your estimated completion date. It’s a bummer when life gets in the way of what you want to do but it happens and there may be nothing you can do about it.

I started college in fall of 2011 at a community college and my life took a turn that I had not expected. The guy I had been in love with since I was 17 chose another woman over me. This caused my math grade to suffer and I failed the course. In spring of 2012 I moved out on my own and started volunteering more and started focusing less on my education, like not doing all of my homework. I failed my math class a second time, my astronomy class, and political science.

280px-Chevrolet_Metro_sedanFall of 2012 was definitely the worst semester of all, however. I enrolled in 2 English courses, history, tennis (because PE is required), photography, and child development. In this semester I started getting a fever almost every other week starting the second week of school. The doctors didn’t know what issue was so it was never addressed. I was also in 2 car accidents, neither being the fault of my own. The day after my second accident, that basically totalled my Geo Metro LSi, my aunt and uncle moved out-of-state. Next, my long-term boyfriend and I broke up, I was sexually assaulted by my neighbor, and I moved into Hector’s parent’s house. Due to all of this, I stopped going to school and failed all of my classes. It was also at this time that I decided to go on a mission.

My mission resulted in me taking 2 years off of school, which is what I thought I needed. When I returned, I started taking 2 classes each semester. I was doing wonderfully there for a bit. But then in 2016, Hector and I moved to L.A. and I had to transfer. This pushed my education back further. I was actually scheduled to be done this semester but I, again, dropped all of my classes and I left to Missouri for a month to clear my head. This my graduation date being pushed again. I went back to L.A. because I knew I wanted to finish my degrees but I was once again sexually assaulted at my place of residence by a neighbor and I had no choice but to move.

I am now enrolled in my third community college and I believe that if I stick with it, I will completely done next spring semester. It took a long time but I’m getting there. It will be a joyous occasion that you will all hear about (hopefully next year). Next stop? Bachelor’s degree!

Thank you all for visiting my blog, as always. I hope you enjoy your view of my thoughts. If you have any comments, concerns, or questions please post them below.

“This is who I am. I’m not perfect. I don’t want to try to be perfect.” -Michael Strahan

Sometimes things happen when you least expect them to. Like winning a drawing, finding a lucky penny on the ground, or your friend getting a divorce. Life is crazy sometimes. And I’m sure that you all know that. Otherwise you wouldn’t be reading my blog.

Why do I bring this up? Because I am finally bringing everyone up to date on my life. This post will probably leave you with many questions but it will also answer many of the questions you are currently too afraid to ask.

judgeI’ve decided that I am done hiding from people’s’ judgement. I’m done pretending to be someone I’m not. I’m done lying to everyone I know just so I can make them happy. So, here it all goes. And please, hold your judgement until the end. I know I’m not the best person in the world and I don’t need to blast my entire life on the internet but I feel like my family and friends deserve to know. This will be a very long post so sit tight, maybe make some popcorn or whatever your go-to snack is.

In 2010 (yes, a back story is vital) I came home from summer camp and had a message from my dad. He asked if I had ever talked to my brothers and sister (Mark, Shawn, Kevin, Janelle, and Ryan). After living in Fresno for the better part of 10 years, he asks if I had ever hung out with them. He had never once in my 18 years told me that they were only a few short miles away from where I had grown up. So I did what any sane person in the 21st century would do and I looked them up on Facebook. I only found one of them, my brother Kevin. He’s a really awesome guy. We began talking and set a date to meet. He convinced our sister, Janelle, to also meet me.

Janelle h 2So, one sunday after church, Kevin picked me up and took me to his house. His wife and son were there and eager to meet me. We hung out for a bit until my sister and her boyfriend finally showed up and we began playing a board game until it was time for me to go home. For a few years, I had only met the two of them. My other 3 brothers were not as ready to meet in person, I guess. To this day, I still haven’t met Ryan or Mark.

janelle hAnyway, in the spring of 2012 I was taking a particularly difficult class. I needed help with it and My sister’s boyfriend offered to tutor me. We met up like once but I felt uncomfortable so I didn’t let him tutor me anymore.

Fall semester of 2012 comes around, I had just gotten out of a 6 month relationship. It was October and my favorite holiday was right around the corner. I posted on Facebook that I had nothing to do on Halloween and how I was really bummed because it was my favorite. Well, my sister’s boyfriend sent me a message offering to take me to a haunted house. If you know me, I love haunted houses. So I excitedly agreed. I then found out that he was no longer my sister’s boyfriend….and we hung out that night and he kissed me. I let him because I missed being close with a male. My previous relationship was great and I was the one who screwed things up. And Kissing this guy, my sister’s ex boyfriend, ruined things even farther. My ex was willing to forgive me but then when I told him I went out with someone else, it was all over. Two days later, I was in a hotel room with this man.

hector.jpgThis man’s name is Hector. Shocker, I know. We didn’t actually decide to be a couple until after Thanksgiving. And then at the beginning of December, I stayed with him because I was sexually assaulted in my apartment complex and no longer felt safe there. Then at the beginning of January I went back to stay with my family. I didn’t want anyone to meet Hector. I was ashamed because he was so much older and he was awkward. I didn’t want people to know we were dating. Then at the beginning of March, I went on a mission for my church.

Halfway through my mission, I sent him a letter saying I didn’t want to be with him. It wasn’t right and I felt strongly that it needed to end. I then started talked to an elder who was serving his mission on the opposite side of the country. He was my dream guy. Until things started to turn sexual.

I got home in September of 2014. I saw Hector two weeks later. I stayed the night at his house and I knew I shouldn’t have. And I panicked and demanded that we get married. Two months later I was living with him.

I married him for selfish reasons. Of course I loved him. But I loved him for selfish reasons. And it took me a long time to realize that. I hurt him too many times since we;ve been married and I know that he blames himself but it really is more on me.

Almost 3 years after being married, we’re getting a divorce. I know that it seems sudden and like it was totally out of the blue. But it wasn’t. We started having issues that we couldn’t work through long ago. And it really is better for the both of us if we aren’t together anymore. We will be much happier and at peace this way.

I know that you have a million questions. Like what did I do to hurt him? Why was I so selfish? Where are we going in life now? What is next in my life? There are many things that I cannot put into words here. But I want you all to know the truth because I think you deserve to know that we are no longer together as well as a little bit behind it.

meI know that I was selfish. And I’m working on that. I’m working on myself. I’m sorry to Hector’s friends and family who may read this. I’m sorry to those who I let down. I’m sorry, but I’m also not sorry. We all do things we aren’t proud of. I just keep doing it. You may not be happy about it but I am who I am and I can’t change the past. I can only decide not to continue on the same path I was on. Like it or not, this is who I am. I’m a college student who failed out of school and decided to try again. I smoked cigarettes when I was 5 years old but vowed I would never touch anything like that again. I hurt people I loved very dearly and I never want to hurt anyone that way again. I am an almost 26-year-old soon-to-be divorcee but I won’t let that stop me from finding true love. I am homeless and broke but I have friends who hold me up when I am broken so I know things will be ok. I’m ok. Even if I’m not ok now, I will be. Because I know that my life is what I make of it. And if you are religious, you need to watch the following videos.

As always, thank you for coming to my blog. I hope this answered your questions. I still love my readers and I hope you come back to read about the goings on in my life. Until then, have a wonderful week. And if you have anything you’d like to say, comment below.