Tag Archives: poems

“An anniversary is a time to celebrate the joys of today, the memories of yesterday, and the hopes of tomorrow.” -Unknown

My topic for today is MY 5TH ANNIVERSARY of having this blog. I am grateful for everyone who has stuck with me. I may not be the most consistent blogger or the most interesting but you have been here for me though it all. From my first post, “A smile happens in a flash, but its memory can last a lifetime” to my wedding plans and trips around the US. So much has happened in my life and I am glad I get to share it with you. I am grateful for those who have been with me the whole five years and for those who are just joining me in my adventures.

I just can’t believe that it really has been 5 years since I opened this account and began sharing my stories with the world. Literally, people from all over the world have viewed my blog, something I thought would never happen. I may not have millions of followers or be any sort of popular in the blogosphere but I am here and I am happy.

I hope you all keep coming back and enjoying my content. And for now, enjoy this amazing song that came to my mind.

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“How often are we to die before we go quite off this stage? In every friend we lose a part of ourselves, and the best part.” -Alexander Pope

As we get older, our lives change. The things were valued when we were 5 are not the same things we valued at 16 and the things we valued at 16 are, most likely, different from the things we value most in our adulthood. We may move away from home, experience the death of a loved one, or even the birth of our own children. Some changes are hard to cope with while others are accepted with open arms. One of the more difficult ones that I have recently dealt with is loosing a dear friend.

As we age, we find that the friends we had in high school are probably going to go on different paths in life from you. Every once in a while we find that one friend, sometimes two, who stick with us through all of those changes. They’re what we all call our best friend. You don’t see anyway that would make your friendship end because you’re just too close. But then, life throws you a curve ball and you’re leaving her house at midnight because she hurt you in an unforgivable way. You go days, weeks, months without saying a word to her. You see that she’s happy, even with you gone, while you’re trying hard to stop the flow of tears. It’s not a happy time in your life. It’s harder than when the guy you were in love with broke up with you. She knows all of your secrets, she’s the one you talked to when anything (big or little) happened in your life and all you want it to have that again. But you can’t. You can’t have that again because she broke your heart in a way you never thought possible.

17238931_1647987095509682_603771781_nIf you’ve never experienced such a pain as I just described, then you are very lucky. I actually experienced this more than once. The first time started in high school. After several years of barely talking, we are actually on good terms. We are not where we used to be, we may never get there, but we are still friends and we do care about each other. The second time happened on March 4, 2017. I won’t go into details but when I was verbally attacked by two people I thought were supposed to be my friends. I wasn’t going to sit around and let it happen so I left. I left the house in the middle of the night and walked down the street. I left all of my stuff that I had with me, I had no jacket, I didn’t even have any plans. I just made a couple of phone calls until I found someone able to pick me up and take me out of there. I felt numb. Not just from being cold but from the torture I was just put through. The one person I trusted with my life, let me down.

I haven’t talked to her, I can’t. There’s nothing left to say. I still very much care about her but I just can’t get over what I was put through. At least not right now. I spent three days crying off and on because of it. My heart is aching. But the words that were said cannot be taken back. Nor will they even try. Them wanting me to accept their harsh words is more important that friendship, which hurt even more when I was told that.

I’m not posting this to call anyone out or to get sympathy from my readers. I am posting this because I want my readers to know that you are not alone in the pain you feel after losing your best friend. I’m not the first person to every experience this and I most certainly will not be the last.

I decided to do a bit of research on dealing with a “Best Friend Breakup” and I was pleasantly surprised that there was a lot out there on Google pertaining to the topic. Here are a few things that I took away from my Google search:

  1. “Friend breakups tend to go unacknowledged, which can contribute to why people suffer so much from them. When the public response is ‘Eh, it happens,’ you feel like you shouldn’t be mourning as much as you are.” (How to Deal—and Heal—When a Friend Breaks Up With You)
  2. The closer you were to the friend you broke up with, the more you’re going to hurt. So give yourself adequate grieving time. (How to Deal—and Heal—When a Friend Breaks Up With You)
  3. Don’t get down on yourself if you find that you need more time. (How to Deal—and Heal—When a Friend Breaks Up With You)
  4. Try not to disavow all the good times you and your former friend had. (How to Deal—and Heal—When a Friend Breaks Up With You)
  5. The 13 steps on wikiHow to Get Over the Loss of a Best Friend
  6.  Buzzfeed’s article “17 Things Anyone Who’s Ever Had A Friend Breakup Knows
  7. Let yourself cry it out (Surviving a Friendship Break Up)
  8. Write a letter to your friend that you never intend to send (Surviving a Friendship Break Up)
  9. It may seem obvious, but don’t force your other friends to take sides. Get comfortable with the fact that they may still spend a great deal of time with your ex-gal pal and that this is no reflection on you. (Surviving a Friendship Break Up)
  10. Just like dating, sometimes you have to be the one to take the first step (Surviving a Friendship Break Up)
  11. Put yourself first and make sure you are getting plenty of sleep, eating well and sticking to your usual routine. (Friend breakups are the worst – here’s how to handle them)
  12. You’ll need to surround yourself with other friends and family if you have lost a close friend, and it’s important to keep up with your social commitments, so that you don’t sit at home feeling increasingly depressed and isolated. (Friend breakups are the worst – here’s how to handle them)
  13. It’s normal to sit around going over things in your head and wondering what went wrong – this is how we grieve the loss of a person in our lives and it’s an important part of the healing process. (Friend breakups are the worst – here’s how to handle them)
  14. Be optimistic and remember that just because you have lost a friendship, doesn’t mean there won’t be more opportunities for new friends in your life! (Friend breakups are the worst – here’s how to handle them)
  15. If you are struggling to come to terms with the friend-shaped hole in your life, talking to other friends and family members can help you get some perspective. If you’re feeling really low, seek support from a counsellor or therapist (Friend breakups are the worst – here’s how to handle them)
  16. Don’t spill secrets that the two of you once had. (8 Ways To Survive A Best Friend Breakup)
  17. Don’t look at their social media. Like most break ups, when you look at their social media you’ll see that they went out with a different group of girls and jealousy will strike. (8 Ways To Survive A Best Friend Breakup)

I promise it will get better. It takes time but healing will come. I’m not there yet but I know I will be. Just like when a relationship ends, this friends breakup won’t end the world. There are people who want to be there for you, even if it doesn’t seem like it. I’m here for you.

If you have your own tips for healing after a best friends breakup, please comment below. I’d love to read them! As always, thank you for coming to my blog! Hit the follow button to stay up to date on all things in the life.

“Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others.” -H. Jackson Brown Jr.

School is an important part of everyone’s lives. No matter what, you will go to school, whether it be unschooling, homeschool, public school, or private school, you’re going to some form of school. Once we are done with the required 12 years of school, we are faced withe the choice to continue on or stop and look for a different path. Sometimes we don’t even get to make that decision for ourselves, sometimes our parents had already chosen our path.

For me, I always knew I’d go to college but I didn’t feel like I could get into a university, I’d always felt that I wasn’t smart enough. I settled for the local community college while many of my friends went to UCs or CSUs. Don’t get me wrong, I did have friends who joined me at the community college.

Let me tell you, college is hard. They make it seem so wonderful, so fun, so enlightening. No, just no. My first semester I took 15 units (or credits): Math, English, Communications, and Psychology. I did ok, I passed 3 out of 4 of the classes. I had failed my math class, I was upset but I could take it again and next time I’m pass the class. The next semester I took 17 units: Math (same one, again), English (I was an English major so I took a lot of English classes), Political Science, and Astronomy. I didn’t do as well that semester, I failed my math class AGAIN (you only have 3 tries at passing a class, I needed to pass it next time), Astronomy (it involved a lot of math and science), and Political Science. My third semester I took 16 units: History, Photography, English (2 classes), Physical Education, and Child Development. That was the worst semester of them all. I was sick with a fever almost every week, I got into 2 car accidents (neither were my fault), my family moved out of the state, and my relationship of 6 months ended because I was stupid. It was all bad. I failed everything, I stopped going. How could I go with a fever all the time? I would try again next time.

There wasn’t a next time for a long time. I failed miserably in school and I took a break for a couple of years. I went on my mission and realized what I needed to do when I got home. I was going to actually make school a priority. And that’s just what I did.

When I got home from my mission I took a good hard look at my grades, so much failure, and vowed it would never be that way again. I was on academic probation, the restrictions sucked but I deserved it. I took 2 classes each semester for my first 3 semesters back at school. I retook as many classes as I could. My first semester back, Spring 2015, I took 2 new classes: 2 child development classes. I had declared a new major and wanted to pursue it at full force. I passed both classes with A’s and B’s. I took my first summer semester, summer 2015, with 2 classes: swimming and the child development class I had failed before. I got my first ever 4.0 (all A’s) in my whole life, I was thrilled. Next, Fall 2015, I took a lower math class and another child development class, passing both of them. In Spring 2016 I decided to take 3 classes so I took my failed math class again (for the last try) and 2 child development classes, passing them all. I finally passed my math class. Over the summer I was supposed to take the next math class, a failed English class, and a child development class but a lot was going and the school decided to change my schedule without letting me know so I had to drop the classes. This semester I am taking three classes: History, English, and photography, all of which I had failed but plan on passing this time.

I am now on good academic standing, which is a relief, but now that we moved out of the area I am going to be transferring to a local college. I’m still planning on taking 3 more classes through my current college in the Spring but in the Fall of next year, I will be transferring. I am hoping that I will continue to do well, I know I can. Here is a picture of my failed classes:

grades

I don’t share this to make a fool out of myself or to prove that young adults aren’t smart. I share this because I’m human, I make mistakes. I also learn from mistakes and make them right. School may not be right for you, at least not right out of high school, and that’s ok. If you do feel that college is your place, do it but don’t slack off like I did. You’re better than that, so was I but I had no one to tell me that. If you’re struggling then get help. If you are overwhelmed, drop out the right way. Talk to your counselor, do what you need to do. Maybe take a break and do something else for a little while. Just be you.

Thanks for reading. I hope you have a great day and do great things.

“If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you’ll never get it done.” ― Bruce Lee

Many people have heard about the new phenomenon taking the world by storm, or so it seems. I’m not talking about the United States election. What I am talking about involves a notebook and a writing utensil. This phenomenon is BULLET JOURNALING! I’m sure most of you have heard about it, whether from a friend or through the internet. I first learned about this technique on Pinterest.com, which has many amazing ideas to get you started. Pinterest can be pretty overwhelming, though, so it would be a good idea to find like-minded people who are into the same thing you are into. If you are not so lucky as to have a nearby friend, most people don’t, so there are many Facebook groups you can join (if you have an account), or there are many people on Instagram if you’d prefer to be on there. The main Facebook group page is Bullet Journal Junkies where there are people all over the world sharing their own layout and everyone is very generous.

I would like to share my story of how I began my journey into this marvelous realm of bullet journaling. It started in July of this year (2016), I know it wasn’t very long ago but it has changed my life. I have trouble falling asleep some nights and I toss and turn, not even feeling tired. When this happens, I typically go on my phone until I do start feeling sleepy. One night in particular, in July, I was on Pinterest not doing anything useful. I stumbled upon a couple of pins about bullet journaling. It was interesting because I had no idea that my best friend was into bullet journaling and had been for months. So, she introduced me to the Bullet Journal Junkies group and off I went.

Many “newbie” questions are asked on the group so it was quite helpful for me. Yes, questions get asked more than once and yes, you can use the “search” function in the group but with so many new members added to the group almost daily there are so many more takes on the subjects. I will give you little start in the right direction with a few of the “basic beginner” questions that I’ve seen or asked.

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Q: What exactly IS a bullet journal?
A: The best place to start with this question is to visit the creator’s website, bulletjournal.com. He can go more into detail about why he started it and how it has helped him. Anyone you ask will give you different variations of what a bullet journal is but it’s because they have adapted the original format to meet their needs. The website says, “It can be your to-do list, sketchbook, notebook, and diary, but most likely, it will be all of the above. It will teach you to do more with less.” For some it’s a way to keep track of their work, whether it be teaching or accounting or nursing (which is hard because you can’t just carry a notebook around with you on the job) or even a stay at home mom (which is still a very difficult, very rewarding job). Some people use it to stay on track in school, I personally do that. To put simply, it’s like a do-it-yourself planner. As you move forward in your journey, you, too will learn what bullet journaling is to you.

Q: What items do I need to buy before I start?
A: There are no specific items you need. You just need the two basic items: a writing utensil and paper of some kind. Anything else is just “fluff” that makes your bullet journal even more personal but you can get those later, as you get a deeper feel for your system.

Q: What notebook do I buy?
A: Many people in the group use Leuchtturm 1917 Notebook or the Rhoda notebooks but they can be a bit overpriced and many people will tell you that the best thing to do, especially if you are a little iffy on bullet journals, is to either buy a cheap spiral notebook (the ones that are less that $1 at Wal-Mart) or to use loose-leaf binder paper as your very first bullet journal. I don’t particularly like spiral or paperback notebooks so I went to Wal-mart and saw the perfect $10 journal to start my bullet journal process in. Of course, I waiting and missed out on a few days of what could have been productive so don’t wait to have the perfect notebook or pen, just start!

Q: What writing utensil(s) do I use?
A: What writing utensil do you feel most comfortable using? I have seen some members of the group use pens (of all colors), pencils, crayons, markers, you name it you can use it. The beauty of the bullet journal is there is not specific way to do it so you can use whatever make you feel most comfortable.

Q: What if my bullet journal isn’t any good?
A: The only one who needs to see it is you. Your journal doesn’t need to be the next Instagram model. It’s yours and yours alone. Everyone makes mistakes. People in the group do it all the time, their handwriting may not be what they want (I know I hate mine most of the time), they misspell words, their lines aren’t straight, they aren’t artistically inclined. None of that matters because it’s yours and you’re the only one who needs to like it. If you make a mistake, it’s ok because you’re human and if you hate it that much then you can do what some people, myself included, do and print an inspirational quote or picture and glue it over and try again. Just don’t give up!

Q: What do I include in my bullet journal?
A: Everyone includes different things in their bullet journals to make them personal to themselves. Most people have an “If lost, please contact…” page at the very front followed by an index, so that you can see everything you have ever included in your journal. Other possible spreads to include are: year at a glance, monthly spreads, weekly spreads, and daily spreads. You can even include more lists/spreads that aren’t typical for a planner, like books to read, movies to watch, tv show log, what your toddler says, anything and everything can go in your journal. Its a representation of your life so make it feel like it.

Q: When should I start my bullet journal?
A: That answer is simple…NOW. Many people get stuck in the “I need to wait for the right ___” (You can fill in the blank). I was one of those and I lost time waisting away desiring for the perfect journal. Don’t wait, you can start being productive today. Even if it’s on a Wednesday int he middle of the month, you can still start today. If it stresses you out too much to start in the middle of the week, start with other spreads for a few days and then on Sunday or Monday (whichever day you choose as your beginning of the week) start then.

I can go on and on with Q&A’s but I won’t. You should do some personal research too. You won’t be perfect right away (or ever) but you’ll get better and find your niche as you do more and more in your bullet journal. So, run wild and have fun. Here’s a few pictures of my bullet journal, too.

 

What makes YOU want to start up a bullet journal? Where did you hear about it? How long have you been doing it if you already are? What other tips can you give to people who may still be on the fence of doing it or not? Comment below and thank you for reading!

“God won’t give you more than you can bare. He might let you bend but he won’t let you break.” -Unknown

Almost two years ago, I received a letter in the mail from someone I admire very much. She wrote me often, it’s our favorite means of communication (other than in person) because we feel that snail mail is more personal than a text or email. Anyway, in this letter she included a short one-page story that she had written and dedicated to me. Upon reading it, I cried. I actually shared it with many people and also used it in a homework assignment last semester. I do not and will not ever take credit for it, it is completely hers. So, without further ado, here it is.

Once Upon a Time…

…There was born a little girl, with hair of while gold. She was a beloved and special child, even the daughter of the Lord of the Manor. Though his child was dearly beloved and cherished, the Lord, being extremely wise, chose not to provide her a privileged life of ease and plenty, least it should destroy her inner strength and beauty.

At birth, this little girl was placed in the temporary care of one who, herself, needed much care. This priceless little one was often neglected, forgotten, or even out of sight of her Father, the Lord of the Manor.As the years seemingly slowly crept by, the child, at times, was confused, as her true, inner child and sense of worth collided with the realities of her barren life, devoid of the proper care of one so highly valued. Her father watched and waited!

Early childhood passed by, and the little girl’s Father could see that His daughter was beginning to lose confidence in herself, and was about to forget whose child she really was. Realizing the need for a change, He stepped forward , and arranged for a new set of caretakers to fill the voids in her life. He now chose individuals who had matured, and had learned from their experiences. This couple knew that giving and receiving love, along with being connected with one’s true self, are, in deed, the most valuable attributes in this life, if one is to grow and “blossom.” Her Father watched, and waited!

And “blossomed” she did! The child had survived bare and infertile years, and yet, those years had not been unprofitable. She had moved on, not as a spoiled, pampered child of the Manor, but as a girl with “eyes wide open.” She had acquired the qualities of selflessness, resilience, gratitude, and appreciation for all and any food that came her way. Expecting little, she began to receive much!

The couple knew of her past experiences and, with all their hearts, built a loving and true home for the young, golden-haired girl. They were also quite wise, and sought from her Father’s advice, the wisdom to guide her through the years to come. They provided for all of her needs, and helped her to grow in light and knowledge. For the first time in her young life, she was living in a world compatible with her true identity and worth, and she soared. Just as her Father knew she would!

Then, many years later, the time came when this loving, caring couple, was needed by the Lord of the Manor, elsewhere. He knew that his precious daughter had matured enough to stand on her own with his grace, beauty, truth, and trusted friends at her side. She had weathered well her early years, and benefited. She had basked for a season in the glow of love, validation and learning, and benefitted.

Her Father, ever closer now, and as He reaffirmed the wisdom of His plan, He placed great confidence in her future.

He called her to ride, and go forth, fully prepared to help others to learn and to grow. This precious and beloved child had now become a custodial daughter of the Lord of the Manor, just as He knew she would.

-E. Drysdale

I hope you all enjoyed it. She is a great writer and I love the meaning behind this. It is about my troubled life as a very small girl and how I over came it with the help of my grandparents (whom I lived with for 10 years), who passed away when I was in high school. It was all hard on me but I what I have experienced has taught me so much and it’s all apart of who I am and who I will become.

Thank you for reading again today. If you have any inspiring stories, poems, or anything, I would love to help you share them to the world. Just comment below and let me know and I will get them from you and I will let you know how to get it to me.

Also, if you have a story that has inspired you, I would love to hear about it! Just comment and let me know.