Tag Archives: PCOS

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” –Buddha

Sorry this is two days late but better late than never, right? Today I want to talk about having confidence because I feel that it goes well with my 30 before 30 number three which is to love myself again.

First off, I want to be honest, I don’t think I ever truly loved myself. I’ve loved aspects of me at different times but never really looked at myself and though “I love me.” And that is a problem. I also know I’m not alone in that feeling. We are conditioned from a young age that of we don’t look, act, or sound a certain way, we aren’t good. So, our self confidence depletes and there’s nothing there to love.

When I was in third grade, I remember hating my middle name. I have no idea why but I did. Fast forward to high school, I never liked my eyes because they weren’t the blue color I had longed for my whole life. Fast forward to post high school, I gained weight and had acne and saw myself as ugly.

Now, I love my middle name because it’s unique. I love my eyes because they are beautiful, and as a bonus, they change colors sometimes (yay hazel eyes) so I occasionally they appear blue. I’m still struggling to love the way I look, though, even at 27 years old.

However, I am learning to accept me and the way I look and I think that is the first step. I’m also making steps to change some of it.

Unfortunately, with PCOS, it is a little more difficult to lose weight or get rid of acne but it will happen. I try going to the gym regularly with Zack and I’m really enjoying yoga and will continue on when the class is over.

My next objective to loving myself? Take care of myself and the environment around me. If I do that, my body will thank me and show me love in return. This will making me loving myself almost automatic.

I know other people struggle with this so please know you’re not alone. Comment below with ways you have found to boost confidence and love yourself.

As always, thank you for visiting my blog. I hope you continue stopping by. Have a great week and weekend!

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“Looking back, the biggest mistake I made was feeling ashamed of it. Acne is a part of life. You don’t need to be embarrassed of it.” -Cameron Dallas

The more I learn about PCOS the more I realize everything is connected. I love that I have answers to questions I’ve been asking for years. It doesn’t make me dislike my symptoms any less, though.

If you’ve ever been bullied, you understand where I’m coming from. You hate to be so different from everyone for fear of it happening again. Of course, I try to focus on what makes me happy and not what others think but it’s hard.

Having acne like I do at 26 is no fun. But what am I doing about it? Nothing. I wash my face every once in a while but not like I should. That’s what I want to talk about today, personal hygiene and PCOS.

There are so many articles out about what to use and what to avoid and it seems like they all contradict the other. One says to use something with peroxide while the other says to avoid it at all costs. Then there’s the research done on them that only makes it more confusing because the research constantly changes.

I was told in high school that eating carrots will clear acne right up. Is there research one it? You bet! Is it all accurate? Probably not. Another person said she was told to put toothpaste on every blemish. Now this one most people agree is not good for you. It’s harmful and they suggest trying something else.

Then you look at the face washes in the world and they all claim to be the best. For instance, Pro Active is suppose to be this miracle worker but it cause my cousin to break out worse. Then there’s the people that say if you’re not spending a lot of skin care, you’re just getting water and chemicals that won’t do anything.

Well, I’m right in the confusion with you. I have decided that I need to start trying to wash my face the right way. If I want to make my acne go away, I gotta try all I can right? We all have to start somewhere and for me, I’d like to start with the Cera Ve brand. It’s supposed to be dermatologist recommended so why not start there? I will probably get it this week and try it for a couple months and report back.

I know this was kind of all over the place, it’s just part of PCOS. If you struggle with acne, tell us below what helps you.

“Pain, you just have to fight through, because the truth is you can’t outrun it and life always makes more.” -Dr. Meredith Grey

pcosWith the month of September right around the corner, I wanted to post about something important to me. I’ve posted about it a couple of times before, and that’s PCOS. You can read those posts here and here.

For those who don’t know what it is or want to learn more about it, I will be making weekly posts about it. September is PCOS Awareness Month and I think what better way to bring awareness is through my blog?

This week I want to share about when I found out. I haven’t shared much about my thoughts and feelings on that day and why not kick it off with that?

It was last year, around this time actually. I was going in for a checkup to see what I could do about my acne because I was 25 and tired of it, I looked like a teenager and didn’t want to anymore. I went into the office, fully expecting her to look at my face and tell me to change my diet and take this specific medication. What I didn’t expect was to come out of that office with answers that I had been searching for for years. The doctor telling me “you are a textbook case of PCOS” still rings in my ear.

Of course, I didn’t want to take up any more of the doctor’s time and figured I could learn about it on my own. Big mistake, huge. I honestly didn’t know what to do with myself, the more I read that day, the worse I felt. It’s the leading cause of female infertility? So I may never have babies? It could lead to ovarian cancer? So I may get cancer?

Just an FYI, don’t just start researching on your own, it’s very overwhelming. I cried off and on for quite a while. And many people I talked to about it kind of just brushed it off like it was nothing. “so you’ll adopt, it’s fine.” or “you’re fine, nothing is wrong with you.” That one was probably my favorite because yes, there was something wrong with me.

I eventually gave up on telling people for a bit because I felt like I needed to just suffer on my own because no one really took it seriously. It’s an issue you can’t see so it must not be too bad, right? I hate that! I honestly hate that. But I didn’t make this post to rant about that, so let’s continue on with the story.

I was afraid and felt so alone. I didn’t know anyone who had been diagnosed with PCOS, I felt like the only one in the world who had it. Everyone I talked to never even knew what that was. So I don’t have a period every month, I should be thankful. That’s about the extent anyone knows. This is why PCOS Awareness Month exists. This is why I keep talking about it. This is why Buzzfeed did a video on it.

There’s so much I could say about my feelings of having PCOS. It is an emotional rollercoaster that I will never get off. There’s no cure and there may never be one. They’re barely starting to learn about what causes it so we still have a long way to go. But if you feel so inclined to donate, please do. You never know what your money could be helping accomplish.

As always, thank you for visiting my blog. I hope you keep returning to learn more about PCOS. And don’t forget to wear your teal in the month of September. I know I have my nail polish.

“Don’t be discouraged Oh I realize It’s hard to take courage” -True Colors Lyrics

36517389_1849541408687582_7254849853488889856_nHello everyone! I apologize for being MIA for so long. Has it really been since May? Well, Not too much has changed in my life as of late. Still no work, still going to school, still dating the same guy. One thing to note is that I finished my Drama 1 class last week with an A, I actually loved it. I’m now focusing on my ASL 1 and Math classes that I have left this summer. I hope to post more about my ASL class later. Today I want to be real with everyone. Life is hard, sometimes it feels too hard. It’s even harder to admit that it’s hard for you. Sometimes you have to just pull yourself together in the morning and pretend you aren’t hurting inside.

I’ll be the first to admit that I feel this way sometimes. It’s been more often than not lately and I hate to burden people with my struggles because they’re already doing so much for me.

Life has been really discouraging lately. I have applied to over 100 places; office jobs, fast food, retail, child care. So far, I had two interviews, the first one I was emailed less than a week later saying they went with someone more qualified and the other one I knew I wasn’t going to get because the interviewer was really rude to me at the end. My bank also feels the need to remind me that I have $11 to my name right now because I don’t have a job. Thankfully I have people willing to support me with the things I need so I’m not homeless, starving, or having to drop school. But I don’t enjoy relying on others to buy me food, pay for my textbooks and school fees, living in a house with no way to chip in. I can’t even qualify for food stamps because I’m taking more than 6 college units and not working at least 20 hours a week. You may think I’m exaggerating but I’m not, that is literally the policy. Apparently if you’re going to school full-time, you can afford to pay for food yourself. I also was wanting to take up YouTube gaming and created my channel and everything but ran into an issue when my computer couldn’t run the software. So, I’m at a loss.

Now, I don’t share my struggles to get sympathy or to become a charity case. I tell you these things so you know where I’m coming from. I am discouraged and I’m struggling. I’m also not saying I’m not extremely grateful for all that those around me have done to help me be where I am right now. I am more indebted to those people than even imaginable. Michaela literally changed my life. 2018 has not been the year I had hoped it would be, it started out in the worst possible way and has been a swirling rollercoaster ever since.

The question remains, though. What am I going to do moving forward. Everyone has their opinions on what you should do to get back on track.  The following are my plans:

  • First, I will continue to focus on my education because that’s all I really can do right now. I am on my last year of community college and I’ll be done.
  • Second, I will be doing is writing. I want to write more of my book, I do have less than 4 years to make my goal so I need to get on it. I also want to write in my journal each day, even if I don’t have much to say.
  • Third, I will be diving back into bullet journaling. I have let it slip away as of late and I want it back, I felt so happy and together when I was bullet journaling.
  • Fourth, I will be working on my art. I got a drawing notebook and pencils and haven’t done much with them. I think it’s time I do that.
  • Fifth, I will be working on my health. The stress of the last several months has taken a toll on my body and it’s showing, anyone who has seen me lately can attest to that.

I think those things are a good start. Of course, I’ll still be trying to find a job but I need to take care of me because no one else can do that for me. No one can fix the inside when it’s hurt, only I can do that. And I am ready to do so.

I thank you all for being on this ride called life with me. I will be back posting every Monday, I was away for far too long. I thought about posting so often but I was in a rut that I couldn’t get out of. But being in school (physically rather than online) has helped me immensely and I am starting to feel a little bit more like myself. I want to be me again. I, of course, won’t be the same. We’re always changing and this year has changed me a lot.

Thank you for coming to my blog and I hope you keep coming back. My posts aren’t typically this heavy but I wanted people to know my heart.

I want to close this post with something very off topic, though. This coming Saturday is International Save the Vaquita Day. Check out this link here to see if there’s an event near you. And if you don’t know what vaquitas are, they are the world’s smallest porpoises and they are going extinct. There are about 12 left and they only live in one place, the gulf of Mexico. They are being killed because they are getting caught in illegal gill nets. If you can, donate to their cause. They are amazing creatures that are suffering at the hands of man.

“Sometimes it’s hard to see the rainbow when there’s been endless days of rain.” ―Christina Greer

pcosI know many of you are still confused about all that is going on in my life.Which is why I decided to make a blog post about one specific aspect of my life that many are ignorant on, through no fault of their own.

In August of last year, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), view my post on that here. Of course, I had no idea what it was, no one I knew had ever mentioned having it nor was it in the media like cancer or diabetes. What even is PCOS? What does it mean to have it? What are complications that arise from PCOS? Will I be ok? What can I do to make sure it doesn’t get worse? I had all of these questions and more. I was harboring them inside of me and I was afraid to let everyone know because I was worried enough, I didn’t want to worry anyone else. The couple people I actually opened up to just brushed it off as nothing. But sadly, it’s not nothing. It’s something bigger than we all thought. In my previous post I really just spoke about what the symptoms were and added a list of famous people who also have PCOS. This time I am going to give you a few things that I have learned since then.

  • pcos plateAvoiding gluten and dairy help
  • A low GI diet is important
  • Being active is vital, strength training as well as cardio
  • Losing weight (when overweight) helps immensely. According to PCOS for Dummies, “If you are an overweight woman with PCOS, even a modest weight loss of 5 percent leads to
    1. A decrease in your insulin level
    2. An improvement in your menstrual cycle (or acts as a trigger for it to start again)
    3. Reduced testosterone levels, leading to reductions in hirsutism and acne
  • Every issue I’ve been dealing with (digestive issues, depression, acne, weight gain, irregular menstruation, vitamin D deficiency, and many other things) are linked together with PCOS
  • 75% of women with PCOS have a relative with PCOS as well

I have made a whole board on Pinterest full of helpful stuff for managing PCOS, which you can find here. I also have a board for gluten/dairy free recipes and foods that you can visit here. I will be attempting to be gluten and dairy free, though I know it will take time. I am starting off small. Right now, I am focusing on following the PCOS plate so we will see how this goes.

I hope this helped everyone understand at least a little bit about what is going on inside of me. I also hope this helps everyone have a better understanding of my diet, so if I say I can’t have something it’s not because I don’t like it. I want to help my body be happy.

As always, thank you for visiting my blog! I hope you come back to read more. If you still have questions, check out the image and video below. I will talk more about PCOS later so please don’t think I’m leaving you out to dry. Stay tuned!

pcos1

“You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only option you have left.” ―Ziad K. Abdelnour

A few months ago I went to the gynecologist only to come out with some shocking news. You never want to hear any statement that begins with “You have….” and continues on to say something that you have. Especially when it’s an incurable thing

I’ve always wondered if there was something there but someone always had an answer for my issues. I’ve wondered why I have never been menstruating regularly. “Oh, that’s normal.” Why did I started gaining weight so easily after puberty and haven’t been able to work it off, just gain more? “Oh, it’s just hormones.” I’ve wondered why so much of my hair comes out in the shower EVERY DAY. “Everyone sheds hair everyday.” Why was I suddenly suffering with depression? “Well, you have gone through a lot of trauma in your life.” Why do I grow hair where I shouldn’t? “Many women have facial hair, it’s pretty normal.” Why can I never fall asleep at night? “You’re not active enough during the day.”

Someone always had an answer to come back with for every question I ever asked so I eventually stopped asking. Until the other day. I didn’t ask the questions but I finally got the answer to them from her. “You have PCOS, you are the definition of it. How did no one talk to you about this before?”

I know what you are thinking, what on earth is PCOS? Well, it stands for Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome and it is the leading cause of female infertility. There are over 200,000 cases in the US alone! And many women go undiagnosed, like I was.

Here are a list of symptoms found on the official website for PCOS:

Women with PCOS typically have irregular or missed periods as a result of not ovulating. Although some women may develop cysts on their ovaries, many women do not.

Other symptoms include:

  • Weight gain. About half of women with PCOS will have weight gain and obesity that is difficult to manage.
  • Fatigue. Many women with PCOS report increased fatigue and low energy. Related issues such as poor sleep may contribute to the feeling of fatigue.
  • Unwanted hair growth (also known as hirsutism). Areas affected by excess hair growth may include the face, arms, back, chest, thumbs, toes, and abdomen. Hirsutism  related to PCOS is due to hormonal changes in androgens.
  • Thinning hair on the head. Hair loss related to PCOS may increase in middle age.
  • Infertility. PCOS is a leading cause of female infertility. However, not every woman with PCOS is the same. Although some women may need the assistance of fertility treatments, others are able to conceive naturally.
  • Acne. Hormonal changes related to androgens can lead to acne problems. Other skin changes such as the development of skin tags and darkened patches of skin are also related to PCOS.
  • Mood changes. Having PCOS can increase the likelihood of mood swings, depression, and anxiety.
  • Pelvic pain. Pelvic pain may occur with periods, along with heavy bleeding. It may also occur when a woman isn’t bleeding.
  • Headaches. Hormonal changes prompt headaches.
  • Sleep problems. Women with PCOS often report problems such as insomnia or poor sleep. There are many factors that can affect sleep, but PCOS has been linked to a sleep disorder called sleep apnea.  With sleep apnea, a person will stop breathing for short periods of time during sleep.

As you can see, symptoms of PCOS are not pleasant. But that is exactly why women’s health care is so important. We need to help people with incurable ailments, such as this, as well as curable ones.

Though it isn’t curable, there are treatment options. Of course, the number one treatment is being place on birth control to stabilize your menstrual cycle. Often times, women get placed on metformin as well to help with various symptoms. I have not been placed on either. There is a pill that a doctor can give you if you haven’t menstruated in the last 90 days to cause you to menstruate so your body can clean itself out. This is what I will be taking if need be.

I know celebrities are a big part of our society so here is a small list of famous women who has struggled with PCOS:

  • Jillian Michaels

  • Emma Thompson

  • Victoria Beckham

  • Rebecca Atkinson

  • Jools Oliver

  • Sasha Pieterse

There is an entire month devoted to PCOS awareness, September. I wish I had known sooner that way I could participate but now I know for next month. But until then, if you see a teal ribbon anywhere, it’s for PCOS.

pcos-ribbon-md

         As always, thank you for reading my post and I hope this has helped you understand PCOS and how it can affect you. If you think you might have it, talk to your doctor right away.

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