Tag Archives: New Me

“Letting go means to come to the realization that some people are a part of your history, but not a part of your destiny.” -Steve Maraboli

Hello all! Today I wanted to post about something that has been on my mind but dont know where or even how to start. 2020 didn’t start out the way I was hoping it would. I had already decided back in December that 2020 would be the year of changes in my life but i was thinking that because I’m graduating college, getting married, and moving away. But apparently, there are more changes coming my way and they won’t all be easy.

I’ve spent many nights thinking about one of the bigger and more painful changes coming in my life. Letting go of people, even if they mean the world to you, is never easy. But sometimes it’s the best thing to do.

I actually had an epiphany the other day while talking to my friend. As many of you know, I was married before. With my last marriage, I actually lost a friend because she couldn’t be accepting of my life choices. She was my closest friend and now we hardly ever speak. And when we do, it’s brief. This time, I am preparing to get married and I am faced with a similar incident. Different person, similar story. But I know it is more about what they having going on in their life but their words have become harsher the closer I get to being married. It’s at the point where they are no longer supportive and it hurts. I am actually now afraid to be myself around this person and it kills me because we were fine up until this year.

A year of change, a year of new things, a year where I get to be me. I’m getting married in the temple to an amazing guy who love me and I love him. No one can take that from me, no matter how against it they are.

Yes, I understand people who say “it’s too soon” but I have prayed about it and know that it’s right. I dont have to date someone for 1, 2, 4, or 10 years to know that I want to marry them. If God tells me that’s who I should marry then I will do it. He’s an amazing guy and it pains me that people who like him and know I’m happy, cant just be happy for me.

Why is society to the point where friends cant even be happy for friends without trying to tear them down? Why cant friends rejoice in our happiness?

I know I’m rambling, I’m just hurt and I have been treated worse and worse for the last year by the same person. A person who makes me feel so betrayed. But, on the positive side of things, we dont stay in the valleys forever. Things do get better and I know that it will. I may have to let go of people near and dear to me but sometimes to heal you have to hurt.

Thank you for coming to hear me complain. I hope no one ever has to go through this and if you do, I am here dor you.

Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.

-Deborah Reber

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“Hope smiles from the threshold of the year to come, whispering, ‘It will be happier.'” -Alfred Lord Tennyson

Snapchat-1311408993Hello everyone! I hope you all had a great Christmas. I for one had a roller coaster of a day. The morning was great and I’m super excited about the new mouse and mouse pad I received because my 12 year old mouse I got with my first computer had died finally. The bad part? I accidentally locked myself in the garage. I have spent a few weeks alone in the house because Michaela and her family went to Florida for the holidays and on Christmas night, I went out to the freezer to see what I wanted to eat for dinner. Well, apparently the door wasn’t unlocked all the way and when I shut it behind me, I locked myself in. It’s a long story but thankfully I was in there for less than two hours. A friend was able to get the neighbors help to cut the chain off the front door and come into the house and let me out of the garage. So, crisis averted, no living in the freezing garage for two weeks.

This post isn’t about the horrors of the holidays, though. It is yet another post about setting goals. As I was looking over things that I want to improve I saw an overall theme: ME. I want to work on me; physically, emotionally, mentally, financially, spiritually, socially…literally every way possible. So, here is what I’m thinking:

  1. Physically:
    a) Start yoga -I’m taking yoga to fulfill the PE requirement for my AA-
    b) Go to the gym
    c) Drink more water -or water in general-
    d) Try my hardest to cut out gluten

  1. Emotionally:
    a) Write in a journal
    b) Look at the positives when I get really down
    c) Listen to uplifting music

  1. Mentally:
    a) I’m seeing a personal counselor through the church so I want to continue meeting with him
    b) Continue growing by reading -my goal is to read 7 books-
    c) Finish community college -finally-
    d) Keep up with my blog -maybe I can do better than I did this year-
    e) Write my book -I need to just do it-Financially:
    a) Sell my wedding dress FINALLY -I’ve been trying to sell it for a year and I’ve added a slideshow of it below- 
    b) Get a job -this will happen this year-
    c) Create a savings plan

  1. Spiritually:
    a) Read the Book of Mormon again
    b) Read the Bible through for the first time
    c) Go to all church activities I am capable of going to
    d) Get into family history more

  1. Socially:
    a) Find free activities to do with friends
    b) Take a few trips with friends and/or family -go white water rafting and hiking, specifically-
    c) Host a family reunion -this is happening in June, whether people come or not-
    d) Visit family in Idaho

Yes, I am aware that this is a long list but if you stop and really look at it, it’s very doable. I didn’t make unattainable goals like travel the world, get married, or have my own house because realistically that won’t happen. But I do have the ability to take care of my needs. As this is my last post of 2018, I wish you all a happy and safe New Year! Comment below on ways to help me sell this dress, I honestly want it out of my closet already.

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