Tag Archives: Love the way they feel love

“This fire that we call Loving is too strong for human minds. But just right for human souls.” -Aberjhani

My first holiday post on my blog in 2013 was for Valentine’s Day and I haven’t done one for the same holiday since then. I know, terrible. It may not change every year but it does happen every year. So, I decided to be a bit of research as to why we celebrate this holiday and what I found was interesting.

In order to learn more I turned to Google. I found an article titled Valentine’s Day History as well as a video called Bet You Didn’t know: Valentine’s Day. One thing I noticed in both the article and the video was that it isn’t completely clear as to which St. Valentine we are celebrating. There were three and they all appear to have been put to death on February 14. First you have the Priest who was put to death for performing illegal marriages, in that time young men were not allowed to get married but we supposed to be soldiers instead. Another was a bishop in Terni, and the third St. Valentine, there is almost nothing known about him or his life,except that he met his end in Africa.

Growing up I was told that Valentine’s day originated by a man who was an abusive murderer of women and I always thought it was ironic. In my research, that was proven wrong with every link I sought out. According to the above article and video, it started out as a celebration of fertility. The celebration changed several times and by the 15th century greeting cards were exchanged. Now, about 1 billion cards are given out each Valentine’s Day all around the world. Considering the fact that there are about 7 billion people in the world and you take away those who live in poor countries then 1 billion people exchanging cards is a ton of paper.

16732168_1638455123129546_656703001_oNow that we know a little bit about the history of valentine’s day, why do YOU celebrate? How do you celebrate? What is your worst or best Valentine’s Day memory? Please share bellow. And, as always, thank you for stopping by to read my posts.

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“Psychologist William James said that possibly the deepest human need is the need to feel appreciated.” -Gary Chapman

Each person feels love in different ways. There is a test you can take the Five Love Languages test here. There are, as it says in the title, 5 love languages; words of affirmation,quality time,receiving gifts, acts of service,  and physical touch. When I first heard about the love languages, I was on my mission. My companion, Sister G., and I were on an exchange and I was with Sister B. She and I were discussing issues I was experiencing at that time and she explained the concept with me. Deciding that physical touch seemed to be my top love language, we continued with that. Sister G hated physical touch, she never wanted any hugs or anything…ever. It was hard for me because I am a hugger, I hug everyone. I didn’t know what to do with that information so I forgot about it. A few months ago, I was thinking about ways I could show love to my husband and the conversation I had with Sister B. came to mind. I proceeded to look up the official quiz and I took it for myself. I was a little surprised to learn that physical touch was not my number one. At 24, when I had taken the official test, These were my results: Words of Affirmation (5), Quality Time (11), Receiving Gifts (4), Acts of Service (4), and Physical Touch (6). The issue with the way we feel love is that its not always the same way those in our lives feel love. Sister G. didn’t feel love with physical touch nor did she feel love with quality time. Looking back, I’d say her number one love language was acts of service. I knew I didn’t want to focus on giving love in the way I feel love so I had my husband take the test after he got home from work. His results were very different from mine; Words of Affirmation (8), Quality Time (6), Receiving Gifts (2), Acts of Service (10), and Physical Touch (4). If we compare my top 2 we get: Quality Time (11) vs. (6) and Physical touch (6) vs. (4). If we compare his top 2 we get: Acts of Service (10) vs. (4) and Words of Affirmation (8) vs. (5). Do you see the difference in our love languages? I do! So, now that I have this information, how to I show him love and how should he show me love? The following image shows what each love language is, how to express it, and what to do after a conflict.

love-languages

I want to extend the invitation to you, reader, to go to the page above and take the test. After you do so, share the test with those you love. Share your number one love language and ask them theirs, you want to know how to show them love and I’m sure you want them to show you love in the way you feel love.

If you have taken the test before, please share your results in the comments below. Thank you for reading!