Tag Archives: Counselor

“In nine lifetimes, you’ll never know as much about your cat as your cat knows about you.” –Michel de Montaigne

53294689_365469507620410_5291858716121890816_nThis week, I don’t have much to report…which is a good and bad thing I suppose. One fun thing that did occur this week, however, is my cat Olivander turning one year old. I didn’t throw him a party or make him a kitty cake but I did have a mini photo shoot with him. We both had fun and the photos look great. Of course, they are nowhere near professional, but it was worth every second. As you can see in the photo, we used some wand props because he is named after the great Ollivander himself…just a little spelling difference.

Another thing that happened this week was that I finally met with a counselor in college who knows her stuff. It’s a miracle, I know. I am on track on she will hep me fill out all of my paperwork for every degree when it is time. She also will help me see what universities will be accepting spring 2020 admissions so that’s awesome. I was only in her office for about ten minutes and it helped me so much more than any 30-60 minute meeting I’ve had with counselors before. She was on top of everything and had my file all ready for me before I even went into her office. She answered all of my questions and was very straight with me and for that, I am grateful.

53327487_326011561373125_6186254980857462784_nLastly, I just want to say how powerful music can be. I just put all of the music from my external hard drive onto my new laptop and started listening to music I haven’t heard in so long. One of my personal favorites my freshman year of high school is below and I felt all of those feelings and memories come flooding back. Have you every had a moment like that with music? You haven’t heard a song in 10+ years and when you heard it again for the first time, everything comes flooding back. It’s crazy how music can have such and impact on us, for good or bad.

Anyway, I know this was kind of a random catch up with Carra post. I hope you enjoyed it and enjoy the song below. I hope you come back next week for more content. Have a great week and weekend!

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“When you forgive, you in no way change the past – but you sure do change the future.” -Bernard Meltzer

25319884_1756491134659277_1436553091_oToday I want to talk about a specific point in my 30 Before 30 list; forgiving those who have hurt me. Why do I want to talk about that specific point? Well, last week I went to my college to meet with a counselor to get my Student Education Plan done, which was a great meeting by the way. Anyway, I saw someone there that I always hoped to never see again. And it was at that moment that I realised that number 12 will be one of the most difficult things to accomplish.

No, I am not one to hold a grudge but this person in particular hurt me in a way no one else in the world ever could. How could I forgive this person? I mean, I was able to forgive the one person who hurt me more than anyone else in the world, my mom. Why couldn’t I forgive this person?

Who is the person I am speaking of? Well, his name isn’t important but he was a guy I dated a long time ago. He wasn’t my first love or even my first boyfriend but he lied and stole almost $600 from me then lied some more. He hurt me mentally and emotionally. He took something I could never get back. How could I forgive him for that? How could you forgive such a manipulative human being?

It’s been seven years and every single time I hear his name or see him, the same anger bubbles up from the depths of my soul. How do I let this go? Well, thankfully we live in the day and age of the internet so I looked up a few things to help me out.

I started reading a wikihow article (found here). The first part in forgiving someone is deciding to forgive, which I have. Under the first step it says the following, “Forgiveness does not mean excusing or accepting the betrayal. Rather, forgiveness is the act of freeing yourself of the anguish and anger that you’ve felt towards the person who betrayed you. Forgiveness means letting go of your grudge against the other person.” We’ve all heard that holding grudges just hurt us and it’s so true, we feel so much better when we free ourselves of those feelings.

Under part two, step one it says the following, “If you’re sad, ashamed, or angry about being betrayed, that is perfectly natural. Try to find positive ways to deal with these feelings. Accepting how you feel is an important step toward emotional recovery, which is the first step toward forgiveness.” All too often we don’t want to acknowledge the negative feelings we have toward a particular human being but we need to. I know that I have negative feelings toward him.

I really like what it says under step 10, “While the betrayal you experienced may seem senseless and random at the time, step back and try to give the experience value. Instead of thinking of it as a completely terrible event without any beneficial aspects, you could think of ways in which you might actually be thankful for it. The meaning you take from the misery of betrayal can bolster your emotional strength, which you can then use to forgive the person who betrayed you.” If that incident had never happened, I wouldn’t have some of the experiences I’ve had. I also wouldn’t have the knowledge.

It may seem weird but researching it helped me understand why this point is on my 30 Before 30 list. Yes, I put it there. But I didn’t know how beneficial it would be to me. But after reading the articles I found, which I will add links to them below, I feel better about it. I can forgive. There is nothing I shouldn’t be able to forgive.

As always, thank you for visiting my blog and I hope that if you are struggling to forgive someone that this has helped you. Read the articles and decide now that you want to set yourself free. And if all else fails and you need a laugh, watch the music video below!

Forgiveness After Betrayal

The Art of Forgiveness: 10 Steps to Handling Betrayal With Elegance and Grace

The Power of Forgiveness

When You Have Been Betrayed

How to forgive when you’re still mad