Tag Archives: 18 months

“The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or learn from it.” — Rafiki

I have been doing a lot of reflecting these last few months. If you read my very first blog post you will know that my childhood was rough. There’s no denying it. Being dragged around all over by my sex driven, drunken, drugged up mom was only part of it. Being shipped away to Arizona with people I didn’t know where a lot of physical abuse happened was probably the best thing she could have done because that’s when I was able to be “rescued” by the most wonderful and selfless people I have ever had the pleasure to know….that would be my grandparents. As soon as they found out what my mother had done and exactly where it was that she had sent me, they set out to pick me up. It was my grandma’s birthday, September 23, 1999 and I was seven years old. I was a gangly little girl who had no self-confidence and thought she was the dumbest person in the world. It was a very dark time, in deed.

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These are my wonderful grandparents who gave so much yet received so little.

Because of my past and refusing to be more open with my grandparents, I was put in therapy. I know what you’re thinking, “Therapy is for crazy people. What am I doing reading a crazy person’s blog?” Well, a lot of people go to therapy and it’s not always because they are crazy. I was a neglected, abused, scared, and confused little girl and I needed help. I, of course, didn’t realize I needed the help but my grandma always knew best. I went to see my therapist shortly after I went to live with my grandparents, I loved her but at first I was very shy. She never would pry, she only asked a few questions and listened to me play. I loved playing with the doll house and stuffed animals she had, they were my favorite. Slowly but surely I began opening up. I never told anyone everything that happened to me in the past but I opened up more than I had and I began to understand how it had hurt me in the long run.

(Here is an interesting read for you on child play therapy Play Therapy for Abused and Traumatized Children: A Bibliography)

My grandparents did all they could to help me, though. My aunt put me in modeling classes through the community that are meant to help build confidence and I did it twice, I loved every moment of it. I even have pictures to prove it! I wish I still had that confidence in myself but most days it’s hard.

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This is my favorite out of all of my modeling pictures. I was in 5th grade.

In 2009, 10 years after being “recused” by my grandparents, my life fell apart once more. I was at school when my grandparents and an aunt and uncle were going on a trip to see my youngest cousin graduate Kindergarten. I couldn’t go because I had finals and in high school you can’t really skip those or you’ll risk failing the class. At the end of the day, I had a crazy amount of missed phone calls on my cell, which we aren’t allowed to use at school. All of these calls were from my brothers. I immediately thought something was wrong with my niece, who was born only a month before, or my nephew, who was a few years old. I called both of them back several times when the younger of the two answered and I was so worried. I remember his words so clearly “I didn’t want to be the one to tell you this but grandma, grandpa, Doyle, and Cindy were in an accident. Grandpa and Doyle were air evaced to Springfield. We’re not sure if they are going to make it. Grandma and Cindy are ok, though.” The bus ride home was the LONGEST ride of my life. My best friend Dakota was there for me, though. He helped me when I needed someone the most.

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This is Dakota, he helped me a lot my Sophomore year. We were both new to the school and he was a great friend to me.

Within a month, I lost both of my grandparents and the realization of moving away was setting in. I hated it. I did it, though. I knew my family loved me and wanted the best for me but I struggled. I still struggle.

After high school, I moved out on my own because my family was moving away and I didn’t want to go. I moved downtown and lived with a pretty awesome roommate. I was living an ok life. I knew I wasn’t happy though. Nothing made me happy. All of my friends could see it. I was encouraged to see a doctor and a therapist. Yes, again, I went to therapy. I went for a couple of months and I was put on antidepressants. I couldn’t tell my family, I couldn’t let them know because they would never approve, they never understood depression. I had to move back in with family due to some issues I was having at my apartment and I stopped taking my medicine.

I thought I was happy, I did. I went without any antidepressants for over a year. Until I was about a year into my mission and I was put on them again. Of course, when I came home to my family, I stopped taking them because, like before, I knew they would never understand.

I am still struggling with taking them because I know there are so many people who don’t understand depression and the reason antidepressants are important but I know I need to take them. I am currently starting them up again and I hope to stick with it this time, for as long as I need them. It’s not good to continue to get on and off of them, especially when you don’t talk to a doctor about it.

If you feel like you have serious depression, you should seek help. Not everyone will understand but we all need to learn to take care of ourselves. Never discount the way you feel just because your family thinks you have a good life or because you see that other people have it worse. Depression is a chemical imbalance and there are many medications that will help. I will post more on depression later.

I wanted to share my story with you because I know that if I help just one person, I have done my job. Thank you for reading. Please know that you’re not alone, even if you feel like it at times. You can even drop a comment here and I will be sure to help you in any way I can.

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Sister Carra Miller’s Mission Adventures 9/15/14

Yes, this is my very last missionary email. How scary/sad/weird is that? Time has escaped me way too fast. I wish it could’ve been a little slower.

Well, this week was a good week. We were thrown a curveball, though. They are white washing our area. Due to there being more sisters leaving than coming in, they have to close some areas, our area being one of the first. Georgetown will now have 2 sets of elders.

So… my week:

Monday: P-day is always great! We had dinner with the Halls.

Tuesday: busy day in Pawley’s and Murrles Inlet. We saw the Dews. We also had our very last DDM 😦

Wednesday: Much like Tuesday…yes, a lot of miles were used this week.

Thursday: Busy day in Georgetown. We did see Ashley, though 🙂

Friday: Weekly planning, went to Dunbar. Busy. We saw William!

Saturday: Stake Conference, cleaned Albertha’s house again, got transfer calls.

Sunday: More stake conference, busy busy!

Today: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH There is way too much to do. Our dryer quit working, we have to pack up our whole trailer, we both have to pack our bags, and I have to get ready to go home. Yikes. Give us some time 😦

Anyway, that was my week. I will see y’all soon. Remember I will be in Fresno for only a few days and if you want to see me, talk to me on facebook or email me.

I love y’all. Have a good week!

Love,

Sister Carra Skye Miller

Sister Carra Miller’s Mission Adventures 9/8/14

Hello Everyone, how’s September starting out for y’all? It’s till slightly shocking to think that September already started last week. When my trainer said time would fly by, how right she was. In case anyone is wondering, I will be flying out of South Carolina on September 18 at 7:00 am and arriving in Lewiston, Idaho at about 3:25 pm.

So this week was a good week, we definitely stayed busy.

Monday: P-Day 😀 We went to Front St. and walked on the harbor, which was beautiful, then some really nice guy bought us ice cream! That was really awesome! We had a good lesson with the Hall family and with a guy named Jared, he’s a returning member. We were FINALLY able to play my game that I made.

Tuesday: Working hard! We went up to Pawley’s Island and stayed busy. Man there’s so much to do up there and never enough time to do it.

Wednesday we went up to Murrles Inlet and saw Jared and his sibblings, they are so awesome. We see them at least once a week. Obviously, we used a lot of miles . We also had a really good lesson with our new investigator Chuck. We met him a few weeks ago and were finally able to meet him at his house to sit down and have a lesson. He is so golden!

Thursday we had another zone meeting. That was a really good meeting. President Turner’s changes will be good for our mission. I am so excited to hear about what this next year brings for the mission.

Friday was weekly planning. It was a really good day, we got so much done. We don’t have the map figured out yet but we’ll get it looking good soon.

Saturday we had a member come out with us all day, her name is Cassie. It was great. We almost got the cops called on us AND threatened. How great. Some people freak out about cars so easily.

Sunday! It was a great fast and testimony meeting. I bore my testimony for the last time on my mission and met in the Hibbati Grill for the last time, as well, because next week is our stake conference.

Anyway, that was my week. Today we are on a members computer because the storm knocked out the power at the library. Fun stuff 🙂

I hope y’all enjoy my pictures! Have a great week. Love ya.

Love,

Sister Carra Skye Miller

Here are some pictures of randomness in the Georgetown area.

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Sister Carra Miller’s Mission Adventures 9/1/14

Aloha! 🙂 So, how is everyone doing? I hope y’all are all doing well. Here’s a recap of this week:

Monday: We had dinner with the Lees and the Halls because Sister Hall’s stove broke…which is no good. But we did have a good visit 🙂

Tuesday we went up to North Chaleston for Zone Conference, which was wonderful. Things are starting to change in our mission now, but they are good changes.

Wednesday: We went to Pawley’s and Murles Inlet, so many miles! It was a great day, though. We saw the Dew family and had an awesome lesson with them.

Thursday we ran around trying to get our map worked out, which we are still working on. We need a new map because ours isn’t very good. We are still needing to draw streets and things but it’s so much better than it was.

Friday….No miles to drive anywhere! We did our weekly planning and did the best we could on our feet.

Saturday….still no miles. We walked a ton that day. We both have blisters to prove it. It was great!

Sunday….oh wonderful 5th Sunday. We, all 4 of us missionaries and our branch mission leader, taught 3rd hour. It was a great, spirit-filled class. There were a lot of tears and people told us how much they appreciated our lesson.

Well, things are going well, as y’all can see. I love being a missionary and I am sad that the time is quickly running out. If y’all will be sending me mail, send it this week or send it to my house in Idaho…if you have the address. You can send it next week but it could get lost. Thank you for all of your support through these past almost 18 months. It has meant a lot to me. I love all of you.

Love,

Sister Carra Skye Miller

This is me with my arm stuck in the car hahaha.
This is me with my arm stuck in the car hahaha.

Sister Carra Miller’s Mission Adventures 8/25/14

This week was a little emotional for both Sister Allen and I. So weird.

Monday was a great P-day, we did what we do every Monday…except we didn’t have FHE with Ashley….again. The emotions started that night. As Sister Allen were laying in our beds just talking, we were talking about death of loved ones because a few months ago her brother-in-law died leaving her almost 23 year old sister widowed after I think 2 or so years of marriage. I told her the whole story about my grandparents and I started crying. I thought I would be able yo talk about it with my companion since I share parts of it during lessons my entire mission without crying but I just bawled. I’ve been really missing them a lot and I guess it finally came out. It did feel really good to just cry, though. I wish I could cry more, hahaha. I’ll continue to pray for that gift 🙂

Tuesday we had DDM in Monks Corner. A member was able to drive us so we saved miles! We have been using a lot of miles and will continue to use a lot because we now have 3 returning members that we are teaching up in Pawley’s Island.

Wednesday we went up to Pawley’s…hahaha. Yeah, we had a busy day that day.

Thursday we went to Dunbar, which is another part of our huge area. We met some new people.

Friday was a Plantersville day. We did service for our investigator Albertha. She’s so funny. Her and her son both were surprised that we were doing it all for free. She’s almost 90.

Saturday was another Pawley’s day. Talk about a lot of miles this week.

Sunday was our first day in out little Hibachi Grill building. YAY! It’s actually happening finally.

Today has been great.

Well, not too much else to report on. The picture is the game board that Sister Allen and I have been working on 🙂

Have a great day! Love ya!

Love,

Sister Carra Skye Miller

Sister Carra Miller’s Mission Adventures 8/18/14

Hello everybody!!!

So this week was a little slow. We had a lot of things that were a little off but we made it through!

Monday was a great P-Day but we didn’t have FHE with Ashley because things were a little crazy. We did go to the Halls’ though 🙂 I love them.

Tuesday was DDM. Our district meetings are always great. I am always spiritually fed 🙂

Wednesday we had a day exchange with our STLs, I was with Sister Smith here in Georgetown and Sister Allen went with Sister Willis (who came out with me) to Summerville. We met a few great people that day and we worked hard.

Thursday we had a good day but everything kept falling through. We had fun with what we did do, though!

Friday…everything continued to fall through but it was a fun day.

Saturday Sister Allen wasn’t feeling well so she took a nap. I told her I would wake her up in 30 minutes….well, with me always falling asleep, I fell asleep and she ended up sleeping for 2 hours :/ But we made the most of the rest of our day and worked hard. It was great!

Sunday was a great day at church. We had our branch coordination meeting and I called the new elder in the branch out on his obsession with golfing. It’s all he ever talks about. One of the members told us that he wants to play rather than work so that saddened us. He’ll figure it out soon, though, I’m sure. We also prepared for our 5th Sunday lesson. We are excited for that.

Well, I hope everyone has a great week and continues to do great things. Have fun at school, for those going back now.

Love,

Sister Carra Skye Miller

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We have church in the old Hibachi Grill!
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The church building being worked on.

Sister Carra Miller’s Mission Adventures 8/11/14

Hello everyone! I want to start my email with the good news 🙂 I had my blood tests done on Tuesday last week and Wednesday morning I got the results. I’m fine! I am just low on vitamin D so I have to take 50,000 IU D3 once a week. The mission nurse, Sister Boyack, said that it took a while for it to get so low so it will take a while to get back up. Sister Allen are able to do companionship personal study, since I am just so annoyed with my lack of study the passed like 3 months. We just started that today and it went well, I am looking forward to study now 🙂

Monday was a regular P-day, busy as usual.

Tuesday was the day I got the tests done, that was a little lame but it’s alright. It took up a bit of time but it needed to be done.

Wednesday we went to Pawley’s Island and we met some really awesome people. I love Pawley’s! We also went up to Murles Inlet, which means it was a 80 mile day…yikes. I started bleaching my shoes too, they are so white now 🙂 I’m so excited!

Thursday we taught a woman named Vanassia, who wants to be baptized! How exciting. She is friends with one of the members in the branch, Sister Miller (we might be related). It was a great day.

Friday was weekly planning. I love planning! We also had to go get our car looked at because there was a recall on the axle. That was fun. We were up in Pawley’s again because that’s where the car place is. We then, again, went up to Murles Inlet…another 80 mile day.

Saturday was good, we did some knocking and a lot of working 🙂 I love working! It is the best!

Sunday was again a great Sunday. What better day on a mission is there other than Sunday? We get to partake of the Sacrament!

Other than that, things have been going well. I love being a missionary! I hope y’all have a great week! Love ya!

Love,

Sister Carra Skye Miller

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Sister Carra Miller’s Mission Adventures 8/4/14

Hello August! Strange how fast time flies by. Kind of scary, really. Anyone else feel like it has flown by? It’s terrifying to think that this is my last transfer and that I’ll be in the real world in…..a month and a half. Yuck!

Well, enough about that….hello my wonderfuyl friends and family. How was everyone’s’ week?

So, This week was pretty good for me, here’s a short summary of my week:

Monday we had FHE with Ashley and then FHE with the Hall family. I love Monday nights!

Tuesday we were kind of lost. We did stay busy but not the usual busy. I was

Wednesday was a bit interesting. We ran all over the place! We were in Pawley’s Islad to get our car looked at, nothing wrong with it. Then we were in Plantersville to visit some people then we were in Dunbar to visit our investigator William. He was supposed to get baptized this coming Saturday but he wasn’t able to make it to church.

Thursday we went to Murels Inlet, which is pretty far. We spent a good chunk of the dat there. It was nice. We got a dinner out of it 🙂 We hardly get fed here by members, kind of sad but my companion is an excellent cook. Oh, we also had our weekly plannig because Friday was our zone meeting.

Friday we went to Charelston for our zone meeting. It was a good meeting. ZTM is always wonderful, we get spiritually fed 🙂 We also went to a missionary’s home coming party, that was fun. He went to the Pacific Islands….I think.

Saturday our branch picnic was cancelled…again. Hahaha. But, we were able to spend some times with a few of our investigators. We finished teaching William all of the lessons, he has a testimony and we know he’s ready.

Sunday…hmm, we had a great day at church, as far as I can remember. I’m still falling asleep but it’ll be alright. We at lunch at the Lee’s, which is a family who lives right next to the church. We eat over there every week. They are awesome!

Ok, so just so everyone knows, I will be getting my blood tested tomorrow to see what is wrong with me. YAY! We will finally have some answers 🙂 Nothing better than knowing how to fix your problems, right? I’ll be getting a blessing tonight, as well. I know all will be well.

I hope y’all have a great week! Love ya!

Love,

Sister Carra Skye Miller

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I’m pointing at the tree frog on the mirror and she’s pointing at the peroxide she just used after cutting her finger. We’re odd, I know lol

Sister Carra Miller’s Mission Adventures 7/28/14

Hello my wonderful friends and family! How was everyone’s week? Did anyone have a good Pioneer Day Celebration? Our branch’s activity was cancelled due to a lot of rain, no fun. But it is going to be this Saturday 🙂 Our Investigator William, who will be getting baptized on August 9th, was really bummed out that we got rained out. He came to church yesterday, though 🙂

Anyway, So here is my week:

Monday: Same usual P-Day stuff then Family Home Evening with Ashley, one of our wonderful investigators then FHE with a part member family that we see every Monday.

Tuesday was DDM. Sister Allen and I gave a training that went well. Not too many people wanted to talk to us that day, haha. It’s alright. Every time someone slams the door is our faces, they’re really slamming it in their face.

Wednesday: Work as usual 🙂 I love teaching people. We were helping Ashley with home remodeling…kind of.

Thursday: More work!!! I love working 🙂

Friday: Weekly planning, splits with 2 members of the branch and more work.

Saturday we taught William then taught Ashley and had a great day. Plus I got a great letter in the mail 🙂

Sunday: William came to church, had a great day!

Today I baught an alligator head 😀

I hope y’all have a great week. Pray that we will be able to figure out what is making me sleep, please 🙂

Love ya!

Love,

Sister Carra Skye Miller

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I love playing with frogs lol

Sister Carra Miller’s Mission Adventures 7/21/14

Good day my wonderful friends and family! I, again, hope that ya’ll had a fantastic week.

Monday was already reported on, it did end great! We are making plans for our 5th Sunday lesson next month. I made little member call letters that we will be giving to the members of the branch.

Tuesday we had DDM, which is always great. We also had a ton of people to see.

Wednesday was a normal work day, knocking, teaching, learning. I love it.

Thursday was about the same.

Friday was weekly planning and we had a few appointments. I love meeting our investigators throughout the week.

Saturday, sad day. We had to drop one of our investigators. Second one since I’ve been here. Well, the other one dropped us.

Sunday was another wonderful day of church. I love church!!!

Well, I hope y’all have a great week, sorry this is so short, things have been busy.

Love,

Sister Carra Skye Miller

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Beautiful Georgetown!
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How many times have you seen this?