Category Archives: Self Improvement

“What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.” -Zig Ziglar

Everyone has goals, whether it’s something as simple as getting out of bed today or as big as visiting every country in the world. I am no exception to this and I’m sure you all know this. I have discussed my 30 before 30 list with you a few times so obviously I have goals. But why? Why do I have goals? Why did I create my 30 before 30 list? How did I come up with each of the 30 things?

I took to the internet to ask why we, as people, make goals. According to a Code of Living article, there are five reasons we make goals; they give us focus, allow us to measure progress, keep us undistracted, help us overcome procrastination, and give us motivation. Who wouldn’t want all of that? Though, I don’t know if having my goals keep me from procrastinating because I have several goals, big and small, and still procrastinate.

There is no answer on Google as to why I created my 30 before 30 list. I knew I wanted to put all of my goals in one place and I thought about ways I could do that. I had seen the typical bucket list but didn’t want to just do that. One day while scrolling through my bullet journaling groups and I stumbled upon a similar list. I was looking for bullet journal ideas and loved the idea. I started one for my 25th birthday. I was able to check off 15 of the 25 and decided to make a list for 26 before 26. I only managed to check off 8 on that list but decided to change it to a 30 before 30 list before my 26th birthday even rolled around. If you think about it, I’ve done 23 things that I’ve wanted to do in about a year, plus the 7 I’ve completed on my 30 before 30 list now. I’ll discuss below what those things are.

How did I come up with my 30 before 30 list? It took a few hours, it wasn’t something I did half-heartedly. I was very serious about it, I prayed about what I should put and really pondered for a long time. I wanted each item to reflect the person I wanted to be when I turned 30 rather than just a bunch of stuff that I thought was cute or fun or even easy. Some of the things on my list are harder than others, some may not even be fully accomplished and I understand that. Some things, like finding God again, were very personal and took a lot for me to actually write it out on paper.

I would encourage everyone to create their own ___ before ___ list. It doesn’t matter if you’re 15 or 95, there is something you want to accomplish. I’ve even seen people do 19 before ’19 list (meaning 19 things to do before 2019). Just like bullet journaling, there is no right or wrong way to do it. Just do it!

Now, for my list of things I’ve completed;

  1. Learn to bake bread rolls
  2. Take more pictures
  3. Try something new with my hair
  4. Try  new makeup styles 
  5. Get rid of stuff I don’t need
  6. Go to bed earlier for a week
  7. Do something I’d never do
  8. Visit a random town in California
  9. Watch an older movie
  10. Find a form of exercise I enjoy
  11. Find a style that works for me and continue to add to it
  12. Buy and wear heels
  13. Send a letter to my old house
  14. Start a better relationship with my parents
  15. Do something for my in-laws
  16. Finish a 5K
  17. Get my food handlers card
  18. Go whale watching
  19. Make friends in L.A.
  20. Go on a girls-only trip
  21. Get a job I enjoy
  22. Do something that scares me
  23. Reach 200 members in Bullet Journaling California
  24. Do something that absolutely terrifies me
  25. Let love happen
  26. Get a cat or dog
  27. Find God again
  28. Learn some sign language
  29. Get in touch with old friends
  30. Follow Marie Kondo’s rules for tidying up

As always, thank you for visiting my blog and I hope this week is great for you. If you have done a list similar to this or want to share your goals and how or why you created them, comment below. Keep coming back for more like this.

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“Depression is the inability to construct a future.” -Rollo May

Hello everyone! I hope you had a wonderful weekend and that this week is also great for you. I know it’s only Monday but ever since my mission, I’ve seen Monday in a different light.

Anyway, today I want to talk about depression. I know I’ve posted about it before but it has been a good minute since I really dove into it.

As many of you know, I have depression. I’ll be the first to admit it, there’s no reason to hide it. In fact, letting people know you have depression may help them. They may be struggling with it, too, but didn’t know how you would feel about it so they never told anyone. By no means do I shout it from the roof tops but I don’t hide it.

Of course, there was a time when I did hide it. I knew something was off for a very long time and I brought it up once with my family and I was told it was nothing and that if I went to a doctor about it, I would just be put on medication for the rest of my life. So, for years I didn’t say anything. Not until I moved out. Then I felt okay to go talk to a doctor. As predicted, I was put on medication. The great thing? It actually worked! I was feeling good finally.

That didn’t last, though. From what I had been told by my family, I felt ashamed and I hid it. I eventually stopped taking the medication.

Not too long after that, I went on my mission. I was feeling fine for about a year…then half way into my mission, it hit me hard. I was put back on them and was feeling great again.

That didn’t last, though. As soon as I was back at home, I stopped again. I didn’t want my family to see me taking medication. Stupid, I know. I didn’t take anything for about another year. I finally started taking them again after i was married and what not. And, as predicted, I felt great. And I kept taking them.

That is, until a year ago. I have no way to get them or pay for them so I don’t take anything now. Should I? Yes, absolutely! But with the cost of everything, I can’t. What I am able to do, though, is see a counselor. My bishop at church set me up with a great counselor and he helped me a lot in the first session.

Moral of my story? Don’t be afraid to talk to those you love. If they truly care about you, they will make sure you get the help you need. Depression and other mental health disorders are no joke. If you need medication, don’t stress. If you don’t need it, that’s great, too. You need to do what’s best for you. And your loved ones will have your back.

As always, thank you for visiting my blog. Comment below of you stuggle with a mental illness and how you handle it. I hope you keep coming back for more content!

“I urge you to be peace makers. To love peace, to seek peace, to cherish peace, to create peace.” -Jeffrey R. Holland

So as many of you know, this past weekend was General Conference. If you don’t know what that is, it’s a meeting world-wide twice a year. Every member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and their friends and family gather to hear the current president of the church (and present day prophet) speak to us. If you didn’t get a chance to watch it, or missed some of it, I’ll provide links to it below.

5bb962ca2515c.imageDuring the General Women’s Conference, Saturday evening of Conference for women and girls ages 8 and up, we were urged to do something that I had been trying to do. We were urged to do a 10 day social media fast. I felt like so many of us need that, we rely so heavily on social media and for some of us, it takes over our lives. So, I decided to go a step further and do a whole month of no social media. I will still be posting on my blog every week but I will not be actively going to other blogs, logging onto my social media, or even using Facebook messenger.

Why have I chosen to extend it to an entire month? Well, as some of you know, I am currently enrolled in 5 college courses, looking for a job, and trying to maintain my spiritual life. I feel like I have let social media fall in the way of most of that though and I think it would be a really good thing to step away for a bit.

I may check in and let you know how I’m feeling about it and what changes I’ve noticed. I will say that so far it’s hard. Typically I waste time when I should be doing homework or other things so I found myself wanting to go on Facebook and Instagram all day yesterday. Thankfully I uninstalled them on my phone so there’s no temptation there. I also logged out of them on my computer so here’s to a month of social media freedom.

As always, thank you for visiting my blog. I would encourage you to go on a social media fast, even if it is just for a week. You may notice how dependent you are on it and find better things to do with your time. Good luck and I hope to hear about your experiences. Have a great week.

“You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.” -Geoffrey Willans

When you hear people say “I’m learning a new language” what do you automatically assume? Often times you think they’ll say Spanish, an Asian language, or maybe even Russian. For some reason, our minds don’t think of American Sign Language. Why is this? It is so important to learn, especially if you work in a hospital setting because you never know when someone will be in your care you is deaf.

Sign language has always interested me, ever since I was a kid. I remember I was in about 3rd grade when there were kids on the playground signing and I watched in awe. I learned most of the alphabet that year but that’s about it. It wasn’t until I was making my 30 before 30 list that I decided to really focus on learning some sign language.

Well, I signed up for two ASL classes and I am so excited. I can not wait to learn sign language. I know there is something that has attracted me to sign language, even if I don’t know exactly what it is right now. I just wish I had known how to communicate when I was on my mission because we knocked into a family who were all deaf and it would have been really cool to meet with them.

Why is it important to know ASL, though? I found a nice article title “5 Important Reasons For Learning Sign Language” and, though they aren’t all important reasons, they are good reasons.

  1. It’s all around us. Seriously, though. If you pay attention, you’ll see it in your every day life.
  2. It’s easy to learn. It really is, I’m enjoying how much I am learning from apps and other sites.
  3. It allows silence. This is a big one. Our lives are so full of noise, from music, to the neighbor’s lawn mower. Sign language gives our ears a break.
  4. It becomes exceedingly useful. Like I said at the beginning, if you work in the medical field, ASL is vital. What if someone comes in for an emergency and they are trying to sign to you and you have no idea what they are saying. You have to scramble to find someone who does know ASL and by the time you find someone, it could be too late.
  5. It is beautiful. Ok, this is not important but it’s true. Have you ever seen someone sign before? We always talk about how the romance languages are beautiful but to see what people speaking ASL can do with their hands to communicate is amazing. There are a few videos below showing people speaking in ASL.

I am looking forward to crossing off another thing on my 30 before 30 list. Of course, I will be keeping you all updated on my ASL journey. I may even decide to post some pictures on my YouTube channel, I haven’t decided yet. Let me know if you all would like to see that. For now, here are a few other article for you to check out:

  1. College Students Share The Importance of ASL and Deaf Culture in Today’s Hearing World
  2. The Benefits of American Sign Language
  3. American Sign Language

As always, thank you for visiting my blog. I hope you keep checking back each week for new posts. Comment below with your thought and feelings on ASL. Do you know ASL? What resources do you use? My resources are below. I use an android for my apps so check with the iTunes app store to see if they are available to you, as well.

  1. American Sign Language Phrases
  2. Signing Savvy
  3. The ASL App
  4. Spread the Sign App
  5. ASL American Sign Language App

“Self-love has very little to do with how you feel about your outer self. It’s about accepting all of yourself.” -Tyra Banks

meI woke up late today and had to rush to get ready to head to school with Zack. I have an interview later and I couldn’t find my brush and nothing was going right. I felt like I was failing everything. The was supposed to start off good, I was supposed to be excited about this upcoming interview. But instead, I was thinking about how ugly I was going to look because I had to rush. I was thinking about how I didn’t prepare enough so I was going to fail the interview. I was being all around negative and hateful to myself.

Have you ever felt like you hated yourself, for one reason or another? Where does it all come from? When does it all start? Babies don’t come out hating themselves, right? Is it taught? Is it embedded in our genes? Thankfully, I found several articles to help me understand all of this.

little 2However, I want to start by dispelling a myth that has changed the world. What is that myth? Well, many people today believe that girls get their negative self-image from dolls and cartoons they watch. For example, Dora the Explorer and other iconic kids shows used to be rounder in size (because they’re kids) but people were claiming their size was making their kids obese. Seriously? No, you want to know where I got my negative self-image? I got it from family, friends, and other girls who bullied me. It had nothing to do with Barbie’s unrealistic size. littleI never once thought, “I want to be her size, because it’s what’s pretty.” I saw Barbie as a doll, not as something to aspire to. I never once looked at the old Care-bears and thought, “Look at their size, I should eat more to be like that.” We need to stop blaming unrelated sources for the issues other females are causing. Unfortunately, I don’t see a way to fix it and it only gets worse as you get older. It turns from what other people are saying to you and about you, to what YOU are saying to you and about you.

Ok, back to what I was saying in the beginning. First of all, I want to say that I found an amazing video that I will add below. I hope you watch it because it’s important and goes along with what I said above.

little 3Now, I found an article titled “The Psychology of Insecurity: Where Does Self-hatred Come From?” This answers many of the questions I just posed above: where does it all come from? When does it all start? Babies don’t come out hating themselves, right? Is it taught? Is it embedded in our genes? The article states, “Nobody is born with a gene for self-hatred – it’s an environmental and cultural development that comes from your place in society and your experiences.” This is so unfortunate that the people who are supposed to help us, only cause us to hate ourselves. But it’s not all because you were abused, the article also states, “You can feel insecure simply because your parents worked too much as a kid or had to divide their time among too many siblings. A child’s early identity formation is crucial, and if no one is around to teach them they are valuable, special, and loved, they can have a hard time feeling it later on.” The article ends with saying, “It’s difficult to pinpoint one underlying cause of insecurity. It can start in childhood or it can develop over time. It can cripple you mentally and emotionally, or it can simply make it hard to ask the girl at the bar for her number. But what really matters is that virtually everyone is insecure in one way or another. When you’re working to overcome to absorption of negative attitudes and beliefs about yourself, remember that almost everyone you know has gone through the same battle.”

This was such a blessing to find. Sometimes it’s a good reminder that other people go through this also. But how can I love myself again? How can love me the way I did when I was little? For this, I turned to another article titled “How to Turn Self-Hatred into Self-Compassion” The thing that you need to focus on, according to the article, is self-compassion. The five things they give are as follows:

  1. Talk to yourself the way you talk to someone you care about
  2. Recognize that beliefs do not equal truths
  3. Embrace the concept of “good enough”
  4. Consider turning to spirituality or religion
  5. If you hate yourself for mistakes you made, make amends

gmaLet me talk about these for a moment. First, talking to yourself as if you were talking to someone you love is a good way to look at it. I would never have told my grandma that she’s ugly or fat because I never saw her that way. I saw her as this beautiful, loving, strong woman, who could overcome anything life threw at her. How do I see myself? Definitely not that way…more like the opposite. Second, recognizing the way you believe as not being true is a huge thing. I know I’m not ugly but I tell myself I am. Why? Because other people have told me that I am. Third, how do we embrace the concept of “good enough?” The dictionary says, “adequately good for the circumstances.” We don’t have to be perfect, no one is, but we can do our best and leave the rest up to God. That brings us to number four, turning to spirituality or religion. The whole topic in sacrament meeting yesterday was self-esteem and self-love. One of the speakers said that when you know you are daughter (or son) of God, how can you hate yourself? This hit home for me. No matter who I am or what I do, he will always love me. Perhaps I need to focus on seeing myself the way he sees me? Lastly, number five, make amends for the mistakes you hate yourself for. This could be easier said than done. I am one of those people who lay in bed some nights and a thought comes to my mind, reminding me of what I did wrong months ago and how stupid I was. It’s hard to let go of those things. I think this relates a lot to my post about learning to forgive people who hurt us, honestly, because we hurt ourselves.

beautifulYou may be wondering why I am focusing on this today. Well, for one thing, it’s one of my 30 before 30 items that I need to check off and this helps me hold myself accountable. I’m not going to say that I completely love myself today but I’m working on it. Second, the topic in church yesterday made me want to post about it. I guess that’s how the spirit works, isn’t it?

As always, thank you for visiting my blog. This post took me some time to do because a) I wanted to give you the best information I could and b) no one likes to admit they don’t love themselves. I hope you can check out the inner voice video as well as the song  and other articles I added below. Keep coming back each week for new content. I love you all and I hope this helps you learn to love yourselves as well.

8 Ways to Increase Your Self-Love by Elyse Santilli

A Seven-Step Prescription for Self-Love: Self-love is an action not a state of feeling good by Deborah Khoshaba Psy.D

“More smiling, less worrying. More compassion, less judgment. More blessed, less stressed. More love, less hate.” -Roy T. Bennett

We all get stressed, it’s inevitable. Sometimes we don’t exactly know how to deal with it, though. That’s why am I writing today! I have been stressed a lot lately, between changes in life and school…it’s been insane. I actually have two short-term heavy classes that I decided to take to make life easier later. They actually just started last week and are eight weeks long, on top of my full semester course. But how do I manage the stress of this and life? Well, I did a google search to see what is said about overcoming stress and I will tell you what I learned.

In an article titled “Dealing with stress-ten tips” here are the tips and my thoughts on them:

  1. Avoid caffeine, alcohol, and nicotine. Well, first of all, I already try to stay away from these. Why? Because according to research, coffee puts part of your brain back to sleep. Your brain needs water to get it working properly. Alcohol just impairs your thoughts. How am I supposed to deal with stress with a clear mind if I can’t even think straight? And nicotine? Well, I just don’t smoke anyway and never will. It’s damaging to your lungs. Anything you smoke is bad for your lungs, I don’t care who you are.
  2. Exercise. This is great! Get up and get physical. It gets the blood flowing and gives you a chance to clear your mind. If you can, I would suggest getting in nature to do any exercises. Go hiking (if you have an area to do so), go walk around your local park (just be safe), or at least go in your backyard (if you have one). Fresh air is good for you, physically and mentally.
  3. Get more sleep. Easier said than done sometimes, I know. But sleeping at a regular time each day helps our minds and bodies heal from stress we are facing. You’ll also see that you wake up in a better mood when you are getting the right amount of sleep.
  4. Try relaxation techniques. I have started reading a book called “Yoga for Weight-Loss” and it has such amazing yoga poses for relaxation. There’s many different ways we can relax, some people sit alone for a little while and listen to calming music, check here for music ideas. Some people do meditation, which is great for body and mind, which you can find beginner tips here. Find what works for you and stick with it.
  5. Talk to someone. I do this, every day. Whether it’s talking to my friends or to the cat, it feels so good to get it out. I even loved talking to a therapist when I was able to see one. Don’t feel ashamed of talking about how you feel.
  6. Keep a stress diary. If you feel really uncomfortable about talking to someone about your feelings, you may rely heavily on this. Make sure you put it where only you can see it so no one mistakes it for something else.
  7. Take control. This one will be hard for most of us. How do we take control? Isn’t this why I looked this up? Yes, yes it is. Following these steps will help you gain control!
  8. Manage your time. This one is hard for me. I spent all of Saturday being a bump on a log. What should I have been doing? Homework. Don’t get me wrong, I got what I needed to turn in that day done. I could have worked on the test that was due yesterday (I did get it done, don’t worry) or the essay due today, which I still need to work on. I’m not going to be a hypocrite and pretend like I know how to get you to stop procrastinating when I can’t even do that myself.
  9. Learn to say “no.” This is a big one. Let’s use me as an example. I have piles of work to do for school and I was invited to someone’s house yesterday after church. I had to say no because I knew I had homework due yesterday. If I had said yes, would I have gotten everything done in a timely manor? I would have gotten it all in but it would have been stressful and I would have been up late doing that.
  10. Rest when you’re sick. To some people this means lay in bed and do absolutely nothing. To me, this means do low energy tasks. When I am sick, I turn into a baby (terrible, I know) and I make sure I have medicine, liquids to keep me hydrated, and I just watch Netflix. I remember one time when I was sick I watched all the episodes of the original Magic School Bus then started on the new one. I can’t just sit there and do nothing. Of course, I also sleep, which is a good option, as well. You know what you can and can’t do, take care of yourself.

Overall, I want to know to take care of you. What works for one person may not work for you. If you have any tips to offer, please comment blow. I appreciate your comments and my readers do, too. As always, thank you for visiting and stay tuned next week!

“The space in which we live should be for the person we are becoming now, not for the person we were in the past.” -Marie Kondō

29920718_1802825500025840_1792278_nGood news everyone! I completed something on my 30 before 30 list! What did I complete? Marie Kondo‘s method of tidying up, aka “the Konmari Method.” It’s number 29 on my list and I am I’ve been wanting to do it for a while now.

First of all, you probably want to know what the Konmari method is and how I stumbled upon it. Here is an excerpt taken straight from the website: “The KonMari Method™ is a way of life and a state of mind that encourages cherishing the things that spark joy in people’s lives. Belongings are acknowledged for their service and thanked before being let go of, if they no longer spark joy. People are drawn to this philosophy not only due to its effectiveness, but also because it places great importance on being mindful, introspective, and optimistic.” So what you do is you go through everything (and I mean everything) you own, category by category, and touch each 30020583_1802825496692507_1848334969_nitem. It’s important to touch everything! If it brings you joy when you touch it, you keep it and if it doesn’t then you thank it and bid farewell. Marie Kondo’s method of organizing focuses on what we are keeping now what we need to get rid of.

I came across this method in a bullet journaling group I am in on Facebook. I don’t remember exactly which group it was but several people were discussing pages to create and keep track of their progress. Of course, all things organization interest me so I asked what it was all about. That’s when they referred me to her books, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up and Spark Joy. I immediately checked my library mobile app to see if they had the books and sure enough, they did. So I checked out the first one and from chapter one I was hooked. This was when I lived in a tiny 500 square-foot studio and most of our belongings were packed away in storage so I was unable to do the whole thing. Now that I have everything I own in one room, I decided it was time to get into it. And in the span of just a few hours, I was done.

30007435_1802825493359174_979829267_nSince my first encounter with the Konmari method, there have been more things happening for Marie Kondo. Just last year she released The Life-Changing Manga of Tidying Up. She saw how popular her book was, selling millions of copies world-wide, so she developed this book. There is also the mobile app. Unfortunately it is only for iPhone so I was unable to use it but I have heard great things about it. Now, just a couple of months ago, Marie Kondo announced that she is working on a reality show about the Konmari method. There is no release date or much of any information out there about it but it will be released on Netflix and the first season will have 8 episodes. I don’t know about you all, but I am super excited to see the show because I think this method is so healing, especially when you are going through a lot in your life.

I urge each of my readers to look more into the Konmari method and try it out. It helps to read the books first but it’s not required. I can garuntee that if you do this and complete it, your life will change. You will feel cleaner inside and out. Letting go of your physical clutter clears your mind, whether you realise it or not.

As always, I thank you for visiting my blog. If you have done or are in the process of doing the Konmari method, drop a comment below and tell us about your eaperience. Was it easy or hard for you? What category did you struggle with most? Did you learn anything about yourslef? I know I did!

“When you forgive, you in no way change the past – but you sure do change the future.” -Bernard Meltzer

25319884_1756491134659277_1436553091_oToday I want to talk about a specific point in my 30 Before 30 list; forgiving those who have hurt me. Why do I want to talk about that specific point? Well, last week I went to my college to meet with a counselor to get my Student Education Plan done, which was a great meeting by the way. Anyway, I saw someone there that I always hoped to never see again. And it was at that moment that I realised that number 12 will be one of the most difficult things to accomplish.

No, I am not one to hold a grudge but this person in particular hurt me in a way no one else in the world ever could. How could I forgive this person? I mean, I was able to forgive the one person who hurt me more than anyone else in the world, my mom. Why couldn’t I forgive this person?

Who is the person I am speaking of? Well, his name isn’t important but he was a guy I dated a long time ago. He wasn’t my first love or even my first boyfriend but he lied and stole almost $600 from me then lied some more. He hurt me mentally and emotionally. He took something I could never get back. How could I forgive him for that? How could you forgive such a manipulative human being?

It’s been seven years and every single time I hear his name or see him, the same anger bubbles up from the depths of my soul. How do I let this go? Well, thankfully we live in the day and age of the internet so I looked up a few things to help me out.

I started reading a wikihow article (found here). The first part in forgiving someone is deciding to forgive, which I have. Under the first step it says the following, “Forgiveness does not mean excusing or accepting the betrayal. Rather, forgiveness is the act of freeing yourself of the anguish and anger that you’ve felt towards the person who betrayed you. Forgiveness means letting go of your grudge against the other person.” We’ve all heard that holding grudges just hurt us and it’s so true, we feel so much better when we free ourselves of those feelings.

Under part two, step one it says the following, “If you’re sad, ashamed, or angry about being betrayed, that is perfectly natural. Try to find positive ways to deal with these feelings. Accepting how you feel is an important step toward emotional recovery, which is the first step toward forgiveness.” All too often we don’t want to acknowledge the negative feelings we have toward a particular human being but we need to. I know that I have negative feelings toward him.

I really like what it says under step 10, “While the betrayal you experienced may seem senseless and random at the time, step back and try to give the experience value. Instead of thinking of it as a completely terrible event without any beneficial aspects, you could think of ways in which you might actually be thankful for it. The meaning you take from the misery of betrayal can bolster your emotional strength, which you can then use to forgive the person who betrayed you.” If that incident had never happened, I wouldn’t have some of the experiences I’ve had. I also wouldn’t have the knowledge.

It may seem weird but researching it helped me understand why this point is on my 30 Before 30 list. Yes, I put it there. But I didn’t know how beneficial it would be to me. But after reading the articles I found, which I will add links to them below, I feel better about it. I can forgive. There is nothing I shouldn’t be able to forgive.

As always, thank you for visiting my blog and I hope that if you are struggling to forgive someone that this has helped you. Read the articles and decide now that you want to set yourself free. And if all else fails and you need a laugh, watch the music video below!

Forgiveness After Betrayal

The Art of Forgiveness: 10 Steps to Handling Betrayal With Elegance and Grace

The Power of Forgiveness

When You Have Been Betrayed

How to forgive when you’re still mad

“Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow.” -Helen Keller

26994833_1771124659862591_1429434973_n          Life is full of surprises. Some of those surprises are good, some are bad and we never know when they are coming. The thing you have to remember, though, is that they happen for a reason.

Lately, my life has been twisted and turned upside down. When I felt like I was at rock bottom, it shifted and I fell deeper. I was talking to a good friend recently about my struggles and this is what he said to me,

26996560_1771124649862592_130041946_n“There’s always worse. You think you’ve hit rock bottom but there’s always lower. But guess what…You can keep going higher, too, Once you start climbing again, you’ll think you could never be happier but then things keep getting better.”

Those of you who suffer with depression, those of you who are battling life’s biggest challenges, those of you who are looking for the light in the dark….you are not alone. It seems like it will never end. It seems 26994720_1771124683195922_1436369907_nlike things will never get better. I promise you they will. Just stay positive. Trust me, I know it’s hard. I have difficulty sometimes, too. It’s even harder when I can’t handle my depression anymore and I have to just lay in bed and cry. We all fall on hard times but they don’t define who we are, it’s what we do in those hard times. Just know that you are loved and every battle has to end sometime, even if it feels like it never will.

This post may not help you at all but I know music can be powerful. I encourage you to listen to the following songs. Be strong, be brave, be you.

 

27140430_1771124653195925_550787904_o          As always, thank you for visiting. Please comment below if you want to talk through your struggles or if you want to give words of encouragement to someone who may be struggling. I hope you see just how strong you are and just how strong you’ve always been.

“No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.” -Robin Williams

Forget about my 26 before 26 list! Here is my new and improved 30 before 30 list…

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  1. Read at least 30 books
  2. Learn to let go of the past
  3. Love myself again
  4. Go white water rafting
  5. Grow out my hair
  6. Reach and maintain a healthy weight
  7. Take a cooking class
  8. Finish and publish my book
  9. Fall in love with life
  10. Go backpacking for a week
  11. Revamp my personal style
  12. Forgive people who hurt me
  13. Do something that absolutely terrifies me Checked box symbol
  14. Learn a new skill
  15. Get and keep a job I enjoy
  16. Visit a state or country I’ve never been to
  17. Let love happen Checked box symbol
  18. Get a cat or dog Checked box symbol
  19. Find God again Checked box symbol
  20. Keep up with my blog
  21. Go to a concert
  22. Learn some sign language Checked box symbol
  23. Find beauty in the mundane
  24. Get in touch with old friends Checked box symbol
  25. Learn to enhance my beauty
  26. Meet with a chiroproctor
  27. Brighten someone’s day
  28. Learn yoga
  29. Follow Marie Kondo’s rules for tidying up Checked box symbol
  30. Be positive, always.

If you made it all the way through my list, you probably have questions. Let me give you a little background on how and why I came up with these items, one by one.

  1. I’m sure many of you know by now that I love reading. I always have a goal to read a certain number of books in a certain amount of time. I never reach that goal. For example, for my 26 before 26 list, I had a goal of reading 26 books. Insane, right? 26 books in one year is a far reach for me and I know that. It was crazy to make that goal. You may think that 30 books before I’ 30 is a big goal as well, but I’m giving myself 5 years! I’m counting the books I already read this year, because why not. Just so you all know, I finished 7 books this year so far.
  2. Learning to let go of the past is something that we all need to do in life. Some of us realise early on that our past holds us back. For me, it took a long while. But I figured it out! Better late than never, right?
  3. Self love is vital. We can’t get far in life if we don’t love ourselves. I’ve been feeling down about myself, the way I look, everything. It’s unhealthy and I want it to end.
  4. White water rafting is something I’ve wanted to do since I was a teenager but never had the chance to do. I will be doing it in the next 4 years, though. No excuses.
  5. Growing out my hair kinda goes with self love. It makes me feel better about myself when I have long, healthy hair.
  6. My weight is my main source of low self-esteem. I don’t feel good when I look at myself in the mirror. I’m overweight and I know that. But I am ready to make a change.
  7. I want to take a cooking class because, well, why not? It’s something fun to do in the community.
  8. Finishing my book is something I’ve talked about for YEARS. And I do mean years. Maybe 5 years? Probably more. It’s high time I stopped saying it and just do it.
  9. I want to love my life. People say that there is nothing about life to love but oh are they wrong. I want to love the life I live. I don’t have to love what’s going on in the world but I do want to love what I do, say, feel, experience. I want to feel optimistic in all things.
  10. If you check out the Wilderness Girl tab, you know that I was supposed to go backpacking this past summer with my best friends in the whole world, Michaela. But I landed my job at Universal so that didn’t happen. Instead, We pushed it back. Well, it will happen and I can’t wait for it. Maybe this summer? Who knows!
  11. I have a personal style board on Pinterest of things I would love to wear but I hate shopping for clothes because I feel so ugly in so many things. I hate most of my wardrobe but I don’t want to but new things because I want to lose weight first. It’s a never ending cycle…or it was. I’m breaking that cycle this year!
  12. I have held on to pain for too long, I need to let it all go.
  13. We’re supposed to do something every day that scares us, right? Well, what about the things that absolutely terrify us? I’m doing that sometime in the next couple years.
  14. I want to learn a new skill, I’m not sure what that skill is yet but I want to learn it!
  15. I loved my job at Universal so much, unfortunately it just wasn’t in the cards to keep it. I am on the hunt for a job I enjoy just as much, if not more.
  16. Like most people, I love to travel. I want to visit a state, or country (Canada?) that I’ve never been to because why not?
  17. Let love happen. Don’t force it.
  18. I want a cat or dog so bad. I love them, I miss my cat Socks so much.
  19. Finding God again is one that may have thrown people off. This one I can’t really explain without going to personal and I just can’t do that today. In another blog post maybe. But not today.
  20. Keep up with my blog. I’ve said it time and time again. I’ve failed, time and time again. I am determined. I started off strong this year, though so I’m improving!
  21. I’ve gone to one concert, Raven Symone at the Fresno Fair. I want to go to a big concert, like Imagine Dragons or Taylor Swift.
  22. Sign language is a very powerful language. I want to learn so that I can comunicate with people who are hard of hearing.
  23. I think there is hidden beauty in everything and I intend to find it.
  24. Have you ever told someone that you’d keep in touch and then never do? Well, I have and I want to keep that. I am determined to keep in touch with them.
  25. Enhancing beauty isn’t all centered around makeup. It’s also about how you dress, how you carry yourself, everything.
  26. I have issues that I would like addressed by a chiropractor. It’s pretty self explanatory, I think.
  27. Who doesn’t want to brighten someone else’s day?
  28. I have friends who do yoga and I want to learn.
  29. I started the Marie Kondo rules but never finished because so much stuff was in storage. Then I just gave up.
  30. Always being positive is probably the hardest. I am trying, though. That’s why matters. I want to be an optimist not a pessimist.

If you have a 30 before 30 list, share with us below what you have. As always, thank you for visiting my blog. Until next time!