Category Archives: My life

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” –Buddha

Sorry this is two days late but better late than never, right? Today I want to talk about having confidence because I feel that it goes well with my 30 before 30 number three which is to love myself again.

First off, I want to be honest, I don’t think I ever truly loved myself. I’ve loved aspects of me at different times but never really looked at myself and though “I love me.” And that is a problem. I also know I’m not alone in that feeling. We are conditioned from a young age that of we don’t look, act, or sound a certain way, we aren’t good. So, our self confidence depletes and there’s nothing there to love.

When I was in third grade, I remember hating my middle name. I have no idea why but I did. Fast forward to high school, I never liked my eyes because they weren’t the blue color I had longed for my whole life. Fast forward to post high school, I gained weight and had acne and saw myself as ugly.

Now, I love my middle name because it’s unique. I love my eyes because they are beautiful, and as a bonus, they change colors sometimes (yay hazel eyes) so I occasionally they appear blue. I’m still struggling to love the way I look, though, even at 27 years old.

However, I am learning to except me and the way I look and I think that is the first step. I’m also making steps to change some of it.

Unfortunately, with PCOS, it is a little more difficult to lose weight or get rid of acne but it will happen. I try going to the gym regularly with Zack and I’m really enjoying yoga and will continue on when the class is over.

My next objective to loving myself? Take care of myself and the environment around me. If I do that, my body will thank me and show me love in return. This will making me loving myself almost automatic.

I know other people struggle with this so please know you’re not alone. Comment below with ways you have found to boost confidence and love yourself.

As always, thank you for visiting my blog. I hope you continue stopping by. Have a great week and weekend!

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An apology might help, but you can change your life without one. ~ Robin Quivers

I apologize profusely for not posting thus far in 2019. Ironic how it’s one of my goals, isn’t it. Anyway, I don’t have much time to post today but let me tell you a few things about 2019 so far.

  1. This semester is already hard. I had to drop a course, I recommend not taking more than one English class at a time.
  2.  I finished counseling, the counselor felt I was doing better and we came to an agreement that if I need it in the future, I will make an appointment.
  3. I got a new laptop. I sold my old MacBook then was able to buy a nice Acer from BestBuy.
  4. I had a great birthday weekend this past weekend.
  5. We rearranged pretty much the whole house this weekend and I am not in a bigger, brighter room looking out into the backyard.
  6. I am happy with this year, though not much else has changed.

I want to hear how your 2019 is going, one month in. Let me know in the comments bellow. As always, thank you for visiting my blog and I hope you find great content here.

“Hope smiles from the threshold of the year to come, whispering, ‘It will be happier.'” -Alfred Lord Tennyson

Snapchat-1311408993Hello everyone! I hope you all had a great Christmas. I for one had a rollercoaster of a day. The morning was great and I’m super excited about the new mouse and mousepad I received because my 12 year old mouse I got with my first computer had died finally. The bad part? I accidentally locked myself in the garage. I have spent a few weeks alone in the house because Michaela and her family went to Florida for the holidays and on Christmas night, I went out to the freezer to see what I wanted to eat for dinner. Well, apparently the door wasn’t unlocked all the way and when I shut it behind me, I locked myself in. It’s a long story but thankfully I was in there for less than two hours. Zack was able to get the neighbors help to cut the chain off the front door and come into the house and let me out of the garage. So, crisis averted, no living in the freezing garage for two weeks.

This post isn’t about the horrors of the holidays, though. It is yet another post about setting goals. As I was looking over things that I want to improve I saw an overall theme: ME. I want to work on me; physically, emotionally, mentally, financially, spiritually, socially…literally every way possible. So, here is what I’m thinking:

  1. Physically:
    a) Start yoga -I’m taking yoga to fulfill the PE requirement for my AA-
    b) Go to the gym -Zack has a membership for a gym and can take one person with him-
    c) Drink more water -or water in general-
    d) Try my hardest to cut out gluten
  2. Emotionally:
    a) Write in a journal
    b) Look at the positives when I get really down
    c) Listen to uplifting music
  3. Mentally:
    a) I’m seeing a personal counselor through the church so I want to continue meeting with him
    b) Continue growing by reading -my goal is to read 7 books-
    c) Finish community college -finally-
    d) Keep up with my blog -maybe I can do better than I did this year-
    e) Write my book -I need to just do it-
  4. Financially:
    a) Sell my wedding dress FINALLY -I’ve been trying to sell it for a year and I’ve added a slideshow of it below- 
    b) Get a job -this will happen this year-
    c) Create a savings plan
  5. Spiritually:
    a) Read the Book of Mormon again
    b) Read the Bible through for the first time
    c) Go to all church activities I am capable of going to
    d) Get into family history more
  6. Socially:
    a) Find free activities to do with friends
    b) Take a few trips with friends and/or family -go white water rafting and hiking, specifically-
    c) Host a family reunion -this is happening in June, whether people come or not-
    d) Visit family in Idaho

Yes, I am aware that this is a long list but if you stop and really look at it, it’s very doable. I didn’t make unattainable goals like travel the world, get married, or have my own house because realistically that won’t happen. But I do have the ability to take care of my needs. As this is my last post of 2018, I wish you all a happy and safe New Year! Comment below on ways to help me sell this dress, I honestly want it out of my closet already.

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“Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible.” -Tony Robbins

Yes, I know I haven’t posted in three weeks and I apologize. It was a rough semester and finals hit me harder than any semester I’ve had thus far. Let’s hope it’s the hardest semester I ever have, honestly. I also am aware that I am posting this on a Tuesday rather than a Monday because yesterday I was babysitting and then cleaning house. 

Based on the title, I’m sure you can all guess what I am going to write about. Yep, you guessed it, goals. But what kind of goals? My game plan for making my goals for 2019. I actually posted something on my Instagram recently that moved me to write this post and there will be a part two closer to the end of the year.

So, with that, I want to share how I decide on goals. In order to do this, I did my usual Level 10 Life page for my bullet journal. If you don’t know what  Level 10 Life is, it’s from Hal Elrod’s book Miracle Morning, which I recommend reading to anyone and everyone because it will help you so much. To tell you a little bit about it, we split our lives into 10 categories and rate where we think we are in those categories; physical environment, family and friends, personal growth and development, spirituality, finances, career (or school), significant other/romance (or personal relationships in general), fun and recreation, contribution/giving, and health/fitness. I like to pray before I do it but that’s me, it’s not required or even brought up in the book.

Not only did I evaluate myself, I also looked at my 30 before 30 list to see what I see could be done in the next year. This year, I was able to check off a few and it felt so good. I have 3 more years to get it all done and I know it’s doable if I actually set goals to achieve each item on the list. You’re supposed to break bigger goals down into smaller ones anyway, right?

Anyway, I hope this helps you. I would honestly encourage you to evaluate your life with the  Level 10 Life before the end of the year and make your new year’s resolutions based on your results. Let me know in the comments you category you need most help on and I just might do a blog post on it.

As always, thank you for visiting and I hope you return! Have an excellent week! 

“What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.” -Zig Ziglar

Everyone has goals, whether it’s something as simple as getting out of bed today or as big as visiting every country in the world. I am no exception to this and I’m sure you all know this. I have discussed my 30 before 30 list with you a few times so obviously I have goals. But why? Why do I have goals? Why did I create my 30 before 30 list? How did I come up with each of the 30 things?

I took to the internet to ask why we, as people, make goals. According to a Code of Living article, there are five reasons we make goals; they give us focus, allow us to measure progress, keep us undistracted, help us overcome procrastination, and give us motivation. Who wouldn’t want all of that? Though, I don’t know if having my goals keep me from procrastinating because I have several goals, big and small, and still procrastinate.

There is no answer on Google as to why I created my 30 before 30 list. I knew I wanted to put all of my goals in one place and I thought about ways I could do that. I had seen the typical bucket list but didn’t want to just do that. One day while scrolling through my bullet journaling groups and I stumbled upon a similar list. I was looking for bullet journal ideas and loved the idea. I started one for my 25th birthday. I was able to check off 15 of the 25 and decided to make a list for 26 before 26. I only managed to check off 8 on that list but decided to change it to a 30 before 30 list before my 26th birthday even rolled around. If you think about it, I’ve done 23 things that I’ve wanted to do in about a year, plus the 7 I’ve completed on my 30 before 30 list now. I’ll discuss below what those things are.

How did I come up with my 30 before 30 list? It took a few hours, it wasn’t something I did half-heartedly. I was very serious about it, I prayed about what I should put and really pondered for a long time. I wanted each item to reflect the person I wanted to be when I turned 30 rather than just a bunch of stuff that I thought was cute or fun or even easy. Some of the things on my list are harder than others, some may not even be fully accomplished and I understand that. Some things, like finding God again, were very personal and took a lot for me to actually write it out on paper.

I would encourage everyone to create their own ___ before ___ list. It doesn’t matter if you’re 15 or 95, there is something you want to accomplish. I’ve even seen people do 19 before ’19 list (meaning 19 things to do before 2019). Just like bullet journaling, there is no right or wrong way to do it. Just do it!

Now, for my list of things I’ve completed;

  1. Learn to bake bread rolls
  2. Take more pictures
  3. Try something new with my hair
  4. Try  new makeup styles 
  5. Get rid of stuff I don’t need
  6. Go to bed earlier for a week
  7. Do something I’d never do
  8. Visit a random town in California
  9. Watch an older movie
  10. Find a form of exercise I enjoy
  11. Find a style that works for me and continue to add to it
  12. Buy and wear heels
  13. Send a letter to my old house
  14. Start a better relationship with my parents
  15. Do something for my in-laws
  16. Finish a 5K
  17. Get my food handlers card
  18. Go whale watching
  19. Make friends in L.A.
  20. Go on a girls-only trip
  21. Get a job I enjoy
  22. Do something that scares me
  23. Reach 200 members in Bullet Journaling California
  24. Do something that absolutely terrifies me
  25. Let love happen
  26. Get a cat or dog
  27. Find God again
  28. Learn some sign language
  29. Get in touch with old friends
  30. Follow Marie Kondo’s rules for tidying up

As always, thank you for visiting my blog and I hope this week is great for you. If you have done a list similar to this or want to share your goals and how or why you created them, comment below. Keep coming back for more like this.

“Depression is the inability to construct a future.” -Rollo May

Hello everyone! I hope you had a wonderful weekend and that this week is also great for you. I know it’s only Monday but ever since my mission, I’ve seen Monday in a different light.

Anyway, today I want to talk about depression. I know I’ve posted about it before but it has been a good minute since I really dove into it.

As many of you know, I have depression. I’ll be the first to admit it, there’s no reason to hide it. In fact, letting people know you have depression may help them. They may be struggling with it, too, but didn’t know how you would feel about it so they never told anyone. By no means do I shout it from the roof tops but I don’t hide it.

Of course, there was a time when I did hide it. I knew something was off for a very long time and I brought it up once with my family and I was told it was nothing and that if I went to a doctor about it, I would just be put on medication for the rest of my life. So, for years I didn’t say anything. Not until I moved out. Then I felt okay to go talk to a doctor. As predicted, I was put on medication. The great thing? It actually worked! I was feeling good finally.

That didn’t last, though. From what I had been told by my family, I felt ashamed and I hid it. I eventually stopped taking the medication.

Not too long after that, I went on my mission. I was feeling fine for about a year…then half way into my mission, it hit me hard. I was put back on them and was feeling great again.

That didn’t last, though. As soon as I was back at home, I stopped again. I didn’t want my family to see me taking medication. Stupid, I know. I didn’t take anything for about another year. I finally started taking them again after i was married and what not. And, as predicted, I felt great. And I kept taking them.

That is, until a year ago. I have no way to get them or pay for them so I don’t take anything now. Should I? Yes, absolutely! But with the cost of everything, I can’t. What I am able to do, though, is see a counselor. My bishop at church set me up with a great counselor and he helped me a lot in the first session.

Moral of my story? Don’t be afraid to talk to those you love. If they truly care about you, they will make sure you get the help you need. Depression and other mental health disorders are no joke. If you need medication, don’t stress. If you don’t need it, that’s great, too. You need to do what’s best for you. And your loved ones will have your back.

As always, thank you for visiting my blog. Comment below of you stuggle with a mental illness and how you handle it. I hope you keep coming back for more content!

“Stopping a piece of work just because it’s hard, either emotionally or imaginatively, is a bad idea. Sometimes you have to go on when you don’t feel like it.” -Stephen King

It’s November again everyone. You know what that means? It’s National Novel Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo for short. NaNoWriMo is exactly what it sounds like, one month dedicated to writing a novel. The goal? To write 50,000 words in the 30 days of November. If you want to visit the official site, click here.

I tried to do it in 2016 and got to 40,000 words and this year my goal is to actually win. By win, I mean complete 50,000 words. I’m hoping to finally have my book finished this year and my first draft typed up and ready for my beta readers by my birthday next year.

Of course, on day five, I am behind. This is due to two things; decided on day three to actually participate this year and me procrastinating. I spent weeks going back and forth on the idea of doing NaNoWriMo this year. So far, the last two years I’ve decided to participate, something big happens in my life. My friend gets hit by a car, I start going through a divorce. I’m confident nothing drastic will happen this year, though.

There is so much out there about NaNoWriMo and it can get crazy but it’s also exciting. Something I found recently that made me feel good was this page here. Who knew that a popular book series such as Cinder was started during NaNoWriMo?

Thank you for visiting my blog and I hope you continue coming back. Comment below to let me know if you’ve ever participated in NaNoWriMo or if you think my goals for my book are reasonable. For cool videos on NaNoWriMo, visit here.

 

“Genealogy: Where you confuse the dead and irritate the living.” – Unknown

First of all, sorry for not posting last week. I was a little down because I had to drop my statistics class, which means I won’t be graduating in the spring as planned. Instead, I will be finishing in the summer. I guess I needed the reminder to not put too much pressure on myself.

The social media fast is going ok. I did download YouTube and Pinterest as well as Facebook messenger but nothing else. I find I have picked up my phone a lot wanting to waste time, only to remember I don’t have Facebook and Instagram anymore. But it is getting better.

Today I wanna talk about something I was going to bring up the last two weeks but didn’t. I recently did the ancestry DNA and was so excited about it. I knew I would learn my origins and maybe meet some family. I wasn’t prepared for who, though.

If you didn’t know, when you do the Ancestry DNA kit, you are linked to people who share the same DNA. I was linked to 2 aunts and several cousins. One aunt I was linked to was my dad’s only full sister and the other was my mom’s half-sister. My dad’s sister was, unfortunately, extremely rude. She refused to tell me anything about her, about our family, or even have a willingness to learn about me. She has had no connection to the family for 30+ years but assumed that, since I’m my dad’s daughter, I am a terrible human being and that I “need to find Jesus.” Of course, I set her straight right away. But, I don’t need that kind of family in my life and I’ve since made many more connections to our family without her. One reason I think she’s so negative towards me is because she’s my dad’s ex-wife’s best friend and he left her before I was born. Ridiculous, I know.

Anyway, the other aunt I found, my mom’s sister, has been very nice. We were able to connect over a few things and have kept in touch. I’ve also talked with a cousin of my dad who is kind. They’re out there, it’s just hard to tell right away.

Screen Shot 2018-10-21 at 10.19.38 PMI’m sure you’re all waiting to see my percentages, so here you go! If you’ve ever done the ancestry DNA, let me know if you’ve learned anything about you family and heritage. I know I have learned quite a bit and plan on learning more. I will tell you right now, I will definitely be visiting my local family history center soon to learn more.

As always, thank you for visiting my blog, don’t forget to keep coming back for more posts like this and others. Comment below if you have any questions. Have a wonderful week!

“I urge you to be peace makers. To love peace, to seek peace, to cherish peace, to create peace.” -Jeffrey R. Holland

So as many of you know, this past weekend was General Conference. If you don’t know what that is, it’s a meeting world-wide twice a year. Every member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and their friends and family gather to hear the current president of the church (and present day prophet) speak to us. If you didn’t get a chance to watch it, or missed some of it, I’ll provide links to it below.

5bb962ca2515c.imageDuring the General Women’s Conference, Saturday evening of Conference for women and girls ages 8 and up, we were urged to do something that I had been trying to do. We were urged to do a 10 day social media fast. I felt like so many of us need that, we rely so heavily on social media and for some of us, it takes over our lives. So, I decided to go a step further and do a whole month of no social media. I will still be posting on my blog every week but I will not be actively going to other blogs, logging onto my social media, or even using Facebook messenger.

Why have I chosen to extend it to an entire month? Well, as some of you know, I am currently enrolled in 5 college courses, looking for a job, and trying to maintain my spiritual life. I feel like I have let social media fall in the way of most of that though and I think it would be a really good thing to step away for a bit.

I may check in and let you know how I’m feeling about it and what changes I’ve noticed. I will say that so far it’s hard. Typically I waste time when I should be doing homework or other things so I found myself wanting to go on Facebook and Instagram all day yesterday. Thankfully I uninstalled them on my phone so there’s no temptation there. I also logged out of them on my computer so here’s to a month of social media freedom.

As always, thank you for visiting my blog. I would encourage you to go on a social media fast, even if it is just for a week. You may notice how dependent you are on it and find better things to do with your time. Good luck and I hope to hear about your experiences. Have a great week.

“Like all pure creatures, cats are practical.” -William S. Burroughs

I apologize for not posting last week, a lot has happened. This isn’t a post about PCOS this week, though I know that it is still September. Instead, it’s about why there was nothing written last week.

oliLast Monday, on my way home from school, I found a cat in the bushes. He was very friendly so I took him home and took pictures of him to post on Facebook. Turns out, he was an abandoned cat. A nearby woman had been giving him food but was unable to keep him due to her husband being allergic. So, meet Olivander; a fun, cuddly 4 month old kitten.

In just one week he has had so many changes in his life. He was living outside for who knows how long and now lives in a house. He got fixed on Friday and has had an infection that we are giving him medicine for. I’d say his life is pretty great right now. As is mine, I always loved cats and I’m so happy to have my own. I’ve never cared for a cat on my own before so this will be a new adventure.

I also signed him up for a photo contest because he is an adorable cat. Please vote here to show your support. You can vote every 10 minutes, 10 times per day (unless you wanna pay). We are currently at 14 votes and we want to be in the top ten. Thank you for your votes!

As always, I hope you enjoyed my random post. There will probably be more about Olivander on my blog, since he is my new baby. Check back weekly for posts like this and more. Have a great week!