Category Archives: My life

“Her Success is Not My Failure” – Latasha Haynes

39020342_937536426429734_388514911870779392_nI gotta say, life is really funny sometimes. I want to post but something always gets in the way and I hate typing up blog posts on my phone because it’s a little harder to write and research. Plus I like the bigger screen of my laptop so much more. Anyway, today is the first day of my last fall semester at the community college and I could be more nervous and excited for this semester. For one, I am not for sure in two of the classes that I absolutely need. I’m also enrolled in statistics this semester and I hate math, have never been good at it. But somehow, I managed to pull off a B in my algebra 2 class this summer so I’m pretty proud of myself for that.

39012887_2096769243975848_2542323556344135680_nI decided to write about my bullet journal in this post. Why? Because it has helped me through so much in the last 2 years and I know it will help me through this semester. So, I hope you’re ready to see my work! And I will be hiding all of my personal information because the internet does not and will never need to see that.

So, if you don’t know what a bullet journal is then you will after this. A bullet journal can be something different for each person. For me, it is a planner, a way to tracker certain habits (like reading, praying, etc), a place to write down stuff I want to do, I even have my education plan in it. All of which you will probably see throughout.

39062187_217046682323227_4004356661857746944_nI am in a few bullet journal groups on Facebook, one of which I actually created. The biggest group, by far, is Boho Berry Tribe. I asked the group what bullet journaling is to them and I loved the responses. I decided to add them here and no names or personal information will be posted.

“A record keeper for the important things in life, big and small. A goal keeper/ tracker for my business. And a creative outlet. Like a diary without the drama.”

“It’s literally everything and anything I need it to be. It’s a calendar, task list, journal, reading log, list of things I want, quotes and inspiration, reminders, a master syllabus for my classes. A place to draw and be goofy but also serious and poised. It’s messy and imperfect and a true reflection of life.”

39087742_683142718713110_5828806834454003712_n“It’s my journey.”

“My bujo is what helps me realize how productive I really am. It helps me give myself credit for all the things I do. Trackers help me stay motivated, act as a reward for following through and help me find patterns in symptoms. My monthlies and weeklies help me stay organized. They keep me from getting that ‘I’m forgetting something but I don’t know what’ feeling. I am so much more organized and productive now, and I have no clue how I got anything done before!”

39069487_232406970953171_1639907883292295168_n” I tell people it’s my life. It’s the extension of me that I don’t have to worry about not being perfect, or presentable to others, I never have to fake it, it changes with me, for me because of me. I can be sloppy messy neat and it makes sense to only me. It’s my friend, keeps me on task and organized with every part of my life. From bills to volunteering, to city events and concerts/movies.”

“I was introduced to Bullet Journaling after complaining to an intern at my job about how I just can’t retain any information from school. I’m an older student at 38, work full-time, have 2 kids, a hubby, a live in 19-year-old niece (who’s a saint thank God), 4 fur babies, my nieces bunny and parrot, a house and I run the communications dept. at my church, I’m tired lol. This intern just turned my life right side up when she introduced me to bullet journaling and it has saved my sanity. The actual method used for basic BuJo is amazing to me and now I can remember things again. I write everything down in it and I can find everything fast.”

39042008_967692503403036_8159637658453147648_n“my brain! if it’s in the book, it gets done. it’s entertainment. it’s a creative outlet. it helps me sort thru my life.”

As you can see from what was said, bullet journaling has made an impact on many lives. And the best part, to many of us, is that you can do whatever you want with it. Plus, there’s no wrong way to bullet journal. Some people make very elaborate pages while other keep it simple. I’ve seen people use water colors to make their bullet journal pages and I think it’s absolutely amazing but I could never do it. I use stickers, a ruler, and several color pens.

39062955_1673301316101687_8339909835436851200_nYou’re probably wondering what all of this has to do with school starting up. Well, I have made a few pages specifically for tracking school related things. I have all of the important school dates written down, a few pages made up of two weeks each for writing down what homework I need to do, and what classes I need for each degree I’m getting next year. It keeps me on track and I know where I can find each thing all in one place. It’s great! And each of my classes are their own color so that’s helpful as well.

I hope that everyone at least tries out bullet journaling because it honestly could change your life. I know it sounds so cheesy but it is so true. I started bullet journaling because I saw many beautiful pages and started learning about what it is. Just remember, you can use whatever you want and do as much or as little as you desire. There is never a wrong way to do it. That’s the beauty of the bullet journaling system!

Thank you all for visiting my blog, I hope you enjoyed this weeks post. I apologize for being so absent. I will try my hardest to post weekly again. Until next time, enjoy your week!

Helpful links:

Boho Berry

Bullet Journaling System

Bullet Journaling California Facebook Group

Boho Berry Tribe Facebook Page

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“Don’t be discouraged Oh I realize It’s hard to take courage” -True Colors Lyrics

36517389_1849541408687582_7254849853488889856_nHello everyone! I apologize for being MIA for so long. Has it really been since May? Well, Not too much has changed in my life as of late. Still no work, still going to school, still dating the same guy. One thing to note is that I finished my Drama 1 class last week with an A, I actually loved it. I’m now focusing on my ASL 1 and Math classes that I have left this summer. I hope to post more about my ASL class later. Today I want to be real with everyone. Life is hard, sometimes it feels too hard. It’s even harder to admit that it’s hard for you. Sometimes you have to just pull yourself together in the morning and pretend you aren’t hurting inside.

I’ll be the first to admit that I feel this way sometimes. It’s been more often than not lately and I hate to burden people with my struggles because they’re already doing so much for me.

Life has been really discouraging lately. I have applied to over 100 places; office jobs, fast food, retail, child care. So far, I had two interviews, the first one I was emailed less than a week later saying they went with someone more qualified and the other one I knew I wasn’t going to get because the interviewer was really rude to me at the end. My bank also feels the need to remind me that I have $11 to my name right now because I don’t have a job. Thankfully I have people willing to support me with the things I need so I’m not homeless, starving, or having to drop school. But I don’t enjoy relying on others to buy me food, pay for my textbooks and school fees, living in a house with no way to chip in. I can’t even qualify for food stamps because I’m taking more than 6 college units and not working at least 20 hours a week. You may think I’m exaggerating but I’m not, that is literally the policy. Apparently if you’re going to school full-time, you can afford to pay for food yourself. I also was wanting to take up YouTube gaming and created my channel and everything but ran into an issue when my computer couldn’t run the software. So, I’m at a loss.

Now, I don’t share my struggles to get sympathy or to become a charity case. I tell you these things so you know where I’m coming from. I am discouraged and I’m struggling. I’m also not saying I’m not extremely grateful for all that those around me have done to help me be where I am right now. I am more indebted to those people than even imaginable. Michaela literally changed my life. 2018 has not been the year I had hoped it would be, it started out in the worst possible way and has been a swirling rollercoaster ever since.

The question remains, though. What am I going to do moving forward. Everyone has their opinions on what you should do to get back on track.  The following are my plans:

  • First, I will continue to focus on my education because that’s all I really can do right now. I am on my last year of community college and I’ll be done.
  • Second, I will be doing is writing. I want to write more of my book, I do have less than 4 years to make my goal so I need to get on it. I also want to write in my journal each day, even if I don’t have much to say.
  • Third, I will be diving back into bullet journaling. I have let it slip away as of late and I want it back, I felt so happy and together when I was bullet journaling.
  • Fourth, I will be working on my art. I got a drawing notebook and pencils and haven’t done much with them. I think it’s time I do that.
  • Fifth, I will be working on my health. The stress of the last several months has taken a toll on my body and it’s showing, anyone who has seen me lately can attest to that.

I think those things are a good start. Of course, I’ll still be trying to find a job but I need to take care of me because no one else can do that for me. No one can fix the inside when it’s hurt, only I can do that. And I am ready to do so.

I thank you all for being on this ride called life with me. I will be back posting every Monday, I was away for far too long. I thought about posting so often but I was in a rut that I couldn’t get out of. But being in school (physically rather than online) has helped me immensely and I am starting to feel a little bit more like myself. I want to be me again. I, of course, won’t be the same. We’re always changing and this year has changed me a lot.

Thank you for coming to my blog and I hope you keep coming back. My posts aren’t typically this heavy but I wanted people to know my heart.

I want to close this post with something very off topic, though. This coming Saturday is International Save the Vaquita Day. Check out this link here to see if there’s an event near you. And if you don’t know what vaquitas are, they are the world’s smallest porpoises and they are going extinct. There are about 12 left and they only live in one place, the gulf of Mexico. They are being killed because they are getting caught in illegal gill nets. If you can, donate to their cause. They are amazing creatures that are suffering at the hands of man.

“You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.” -Geoffrey Willans

When you hear people say “I’m learning a new language” what do you automatically assume? Often times you think they’ll say Spanish, an Asian language, or maybe even Russian. For some reason, our minds don’t think of American Sign Language. Why is this? It is so important to learn, especially if you work in a hospital setting because you never know when someone will be in your care you is deaf.

Sign language has always interested me, ever since I was a kid. I remember I was in about 3rd grade when there were kids on the playground signing and I watched in awe. I learned most of the alphabet that year but that’s about it. It wasn’t until I was making my 30 before 30 list that I decided to really focus on learning some sign language.

Well, I signed up for two ASL classes and I am so excited. I can not wait to learn sign language. I know there is something that has attracted me to sign language, even if I don’t know exactly what it is right now. I just wish I had known how to communicate when I was on my mission because we knocked into a family who were all deaf and it would have been really cool to meet with them.

Why is it important to know ASL, though? I found a nice article title “5 Important Reasons For Learning Sign Language” and, though they aren’t all important reasons, they are good reasons.

  1. It’s all around us. Seriously, though. If you pay attention, you’ll see it in your every day life.
  2. It’s easy to learn. It really is, I’m enjoying how much I am learning from apps and other sites.
  3. It allows silence. This is a big one. Our lives are so full of noise, from music, to the neighbor’s lawn mower. Sign language gives our ears a break.
  4. It becomes exceedingly useful. Like I said at the beginning, if you work in the medical field, ASL is vital. What if someone comes in for an emergency and they are trying to sign to you and you have no idea what they are saying. You have to scramble to find someone who does know ASL and by the time you find someone, it could be too late.
  5. It is beautiful. Ok, this is not important but it’s true. Have you ever seen someone sign before? We always talk about how the romance languages are beautiful but to see what people speaking ASL can do with their hands to communicate is amazing. There are a few videos below showing people speaking in ASL.

I am looking forward to crossing off another thing on my 30 before 30 list. Of course, I will be keeping you all updated on my ASL journey. I may even decide to post some pictures on my YouTube channel, I haven’t decided yet. Let me know if you all would like to see that. For now, here are a few other article for you to check out:

  1. College Students Share The Importance of ASL and Deaf Culture in Today’s Hearing World
  2. The Benefits of American Sign Language
  3. American Sign Language

As always, thank you for visiting my blog. I hope you keep checking back each week for new posts. Comment below with your thought and feelings on ASL. Do you know ASL? What resources do you use? My resources are below. I use an android for my apps so check with the iTunes app store to see if they are available to you, as well.

  1. American Sign Language Phrases
  2. Signing Savvy
  3. The ASL App
  4. Spread the Sign App
  5. ASL American Sign Language App

“Prayer is not asking. Prayer is putting oneself in the hands of God, at His disposition, and listening to His voice in the depth of our hearts.” ―Mother Teresa

This past week has been a test of my patients. The college I was planning to go back to keeps blocking all ways of progress for my degree and I was at the end of my rope. I didn’t know what else to do, I was ready to just give up. Instead, I prayed. When we take that leap of faith and pray, it will surprise you what answers will come to you. What came to me? Well, I was prompted to no longer pursue that school. If the institution is no longer willing to work with me, there is no reason to give them any more of my money or time.

Screen Shot 2018-04-30 at 10.20.21 AMLet me tell you all, this school is (in my experience) the worst one in California. Ever since I started there in 2011, I have run into issue after issue. Just last year they wanted to charge me for a book they misplaced. To make it worse, they were charging me more than a brand new book would cost. The book you can see here and in the image is the one they lost. The price is about $15 new and they wanted to charge me over $20. They were withholding my transcripts from being sent to Los Angeles Valley College (where I was transferring). Of course, I took matters into my own hands. I went above the whole staff at the college and I contacted the president of the school system. Yes, the president. Some may think, “why would you bother the president with a silly little book. Just pay the fee.” No, it wasn’t my book to pay for. It was not my fault they misplaced it. Once it is back at the library, it is no longer my responsibility. Well, a couple of days later, I received an email directly from him (crazy, right?) saying that he will be contacting the school to fix this problem. The best part? A couple of hours after receiving said email, I got a call from the school saying all holds and charges for the book had been dropped. What a shocker! It couldn’t have had anything to do with the president, could it?

You could imagine how tired I was of fighting this school by now, right? This is just one example of many and I thought that, when I moved to L.A., I would be done with them but I was so very wrong. Life put me in a place where I was going to go back to this awful place that I despised so very much. It’s not the teachers or the curriculum I dislike, though one teacher I had almost caused a fight between groups of students in the class twice due to her curriculum. No, it’s the staff in the admissions and records department. They are supposed to know more than they do but they don’t and they refuse to work with you to find out. I have had to turn to the counseling department for things admissions and records should have helped me with. The last 3 months have been a nightmare working with them because they are so incompetent.

This is why I prayed. I was ready to  just give up all that I had worked for. I was done, I couldn’t take it anymore. But when I prayed, I felt so much peace. I am about an hour away from the college I was going to go back to and there is another college in the town I’m in. I didn’t want to go to this other college because when I transfer to a university, I didn’t want to have to send transcripts from 3 different colleges. I wanted to just send 2 transcripts and be done with it. But sometimes the plan we have is not what is best. I am now preparing to go to this other college and I have discovered I will be able to receive 5 degrees and 3 certificates (Child and Adolescent Development AA-T, Early Childhood Education AS-T, English AA-T, University Studies in Elementary Teaching Preparation AA-T, Child Development AS, Child Development Teacher Certificate of Achievement, Child Development Assistant Skill Certificate, and Child Development Associate Teacher Skill Certificate). You may be thinking that it’s excessive and unnecessary but I honestly don’t have to do anything extra for these degrees. For example, the Early Childhood Education AS-T and the Child Development AS need the exact same courses.

Anyway, I wanted to let you all know that things really are looking up. I may not currently have a job but I am applying like crazy. I have school to keep me busy and friends on my side.

As always, thank you for visiting my blog. Keep visiting weekly to learn more about my life and the world around me. If you have every felt frustrated about your school, comment below with how you handled it. I love hearing from you! Until next time, have a great week!

“Self-love has very little to do with how you feel about your outer self. It’s about accepting all of yourself.” -Tyra Banks

meI woke up late today and had to rush to get ready to head to school with Zack. I have an interview later and I couldn’t find my brush and nothing was going right. I felt like I was failing everything. The was supposed to start off good, I was supposed to be excited about this upcoming interview. But instead, I was thinking about how ugly I was going to look because I had to rush. I was thinking about how I didn’t prepare enough so I was going to fail the interview. I was being all around negative and hateful to myself.

Have you ever felt like you hated yourself, for one reason or another? Where does it all come from? When does it all start? Babies don’t come out hating themselves, right? Is it taught? Is it embedded in our genes? Thankfully, I found several articles to help me understand all of this.

little 2However, I want to start by dispelling a myth that has changed the world. What is that myth? Well, many people today believe that girls get their negative self-image from dolls and cartoons they watch. For example, Dora the Explorer and other iconic kids shows used to be rounder in size (because they’re kids) but people were claiming their size was making their kids obese. Seriously? No, you want to know where I got my negative self-image? I got it from family, friends, and other girls who bullied me. It had nothing to do with Barbie’s unrealistic size. littleI never once thought, “I want to be her size, because it’s what’s pretty.” I saw Barbie as a doll, not as something to aspire to. I never once looked at the old Care-bears and thought, “Look at their size, I should eat more to be like that.” We need to stop blaming unrelated sources for the issues other females are causing. Unfortunately, I don’t see a way to fix it and it only gets worse as you get older. It turns from what other people are saying to you and about you, to what YOU are saying to you and about you.

Ok, back to what I was saying in the beginning. First of all, I want to say that I found an amazing video that I will add below. I hope you watch it because it’s important and goes along with what I said above.

little 3Now, I found an article titled “The Psychology of Insecurity: Where Does Self-hatred Come From?” This answers many of the questions I just posed above: where does it all come from? When does it all start? Babies don’t come out hating themselves, right? Is it taught? Is it embedded in our genes? The article states, “Nobody is born with a gene for self-hatred – it’s an environmental and cultural development that comes from your place in society and your experiences.” This is so unfortunate that the people who are supposed to help us, only cause us to hate ourselves. But it’s not all because you were abused, the article also states, “You can feel insecure simply because your parents worked too much as a kid or had to divide their time among too many siblings. A child’s early identity formation is crucial, and if no one is around to teach them they are valuable, special, and loved, they can have a hard time feeling it later on.” The article ends with saying, “It’s difficult to pinpoint one underlying cause of insecurity. It can start in childhood or it can develop over time. It can cripple you mentally and emotionally, or it can simply make it hard to ask the girl at the bar for her number. But what really matters is that virtually everyone is insecure in one way or another. When you’re working to overcome to absorption of negative attitudes and beliefs about yourself, remember that almost everyone you know has gone through the same battle.”

This was such a blessing to find. Sometimes it’s a good reminder that other people go through this also. But how can I love myself again? How can love me the way I did when I was little? For this, I turned to another article titled “How to Turn Self-Hatred into Self-Compassion” The thing that you need to focus on, according to the article, is self-compassion. The five things they give are as follows:

  1. Talk to yourself the way you talk to someone you care about
  2. Recognize that beliefs do not equal truths
  3. Embrace the concept of “good enough”
  4. Consider turning to spirituality or religion
  5. If you hate yourself for mistakes you made, make amends

gmaLet me talk about these for a moment. First, talking to yourself as if you were talking to someone you love is a good way to look at it. I would never have told my grandma that she’s ugly or fat because I never saw her that way. I saw her as this beautiful, loving, strong woman, who could overcome anything life threw at her. How do I see myself? Definitely not that way…more like the opposite. Second, recognizing the way you believe as not being true is a huge thing. I know I’m not ugly but I tell myself I am. Why? Because other people have told me that I am. Third, how do we embrace the concept of “good enough?” The dictionary says, “adequately good for the circumstances.” We don’t have to be perfect, no one is, but we can do our best and leave the rest up to God. That brings us to number four, turning to spirituality or religion. The whole topic in sacrament meeting yesterday was self-esteem and self-love. One of the speakers said that when you know you are daughter (or son) of God, how can you hate yourself? This hit home for me. No matter who I am or what I do, he will always love me. Perhaps I need to focus on seeing myself the way he sees me? Lastly, number five, make amends for the mistakes you hate yourself for. This could be easier said than done. I am one of those people who lay in bed some nights and a thought comes to my mind, reminding me of what I did wrong months ago and how stupid I was. It’s hard to let go of those things. I think this relates a lot to my post about learning to forgive people who hurt us, honestly, because we hurt ourselves.

beautifulYou may be wondering why I am focusing on this today. Well, for one thing, it’s one of my 30 before 30 items that I need to check off and this helps me hold myself accountable. I’m not going to say that I completely love myself today but I’m working on it. Second, the topic in church yesterday made me want to post about it. I guess that’s how the spirit works, isn’t it?

As always, thank you for visiting my blog. This post took me some time to do because a) I wanted to give you the best information I could and b) no one likes to admit they don’t love themselves. I hope you can check out the inner voice video as well as the song  and other articles I added below. Keep coming back each week for new content. I love you all and I hope this helps you learn to love yourselves as well.

8 Ways to Increase Your Self-Love by Elyse Santilli

A Seven-Step Prescription for Self-Love: Self-love is an action not a state of feeling good by Deborah Khoshaba Psy.D

“More smiling, less worrying. More compassion, less judgment. More blessed, less stressed. More love, less hate.” -Roy T. Bennett

We all get stressed, it’s inevitable. Sometimes we don’t exactly know how to deal with it, though. That’s why am I writing today! I have been stressed a lot lately, between changes in life and school…it’s been insane. I actually have two short-term heavy classes that I decided to take to make life easier later. They actually just started last week and are eight weeks long, on top of my full semester course. But how do I manage the stress of this and life? Well, I did a google search to see what is said about overcoming stress and I will tell you what I learned.

In an article titled “Dealing with stress-ten tips” here are the tips and my thoughts on them:

  1. Avoid caffeine, alcohol, and nicotine. Well, first of all, I already try to stay away from these. Why? Because according to research, coffee puts part of your brain back to sleep. Your brain needs water to get it working properly. Alcohol just impairs your thoughts. How am I supposed to deal with stress with a clear mind if I can’t even think straight? And nicotine? Well, I just don’t smoke anyway and never will. It’s damaging to your lungs. Anything you smoke is bad for your lungs, I don’t care who you are.
  2. Exercise. This is great! Get up and get physical. It gets the blood flowing and gives you a chance to clear your mind. If you can, I would suggest getting in nature to do any exercises. Go hiking (if you have an area to do so), go walk around your local park (just be safe), or at least go in your backyard (if you have one). Fresh air is good for you, physically and mentally.
  3. Get more sleep. Easier said than done sometimes, I know. But sleeping at a regular time each day helps our minds and bodies heal from stress we are facing. You’ll also see that you wake up in a better mood when you are getting the right amount of sleep.
  4. Try relaxation techniques. I have started reading a book called “Yoga for Weight-Loss” and it has such amazing yoga poses for relaxation. There’s many different ways we can relax, some people sit alone for a little while and listen to calming music, check here for music ideas. Some people do meditation, which is great for body and mind, which you can find beginner tips here. Find what works for you and stick with it.
  5. Talk to someone. I do this, every day. Whether it’s talking to my friends or to the cat, it feels so good to get it out. I even loved talking to a therapist when I was able to see one. Don’t feel ashamed of talking about how you feel.
  6. Keep a stress diary. If you feel really uncomfortable about talking to someone about your feelings, you may rely heavily on this. Make sure you put it where only you can see it so no one mistakes it for something else.
  7. Take control. This one will be hard for most of us. How do we take control? Isn’t this why I looked this up? Yes, yes it is. Following these steps will help you gain control!
  8. Manage your time. This one is hard for me. I spent all of Saturday being a bump on a log. What should I have been doing? Homework. Don’t get me wrong, I got what I needed to turn in that day done. I could have worked on the test that was due yesterday (I did get it done, don’t worry) or the essay due today, which I still need to work on. I’m not going to be a hypocrite and pretend like I know how to get you to stop procrastinating when I can’t even do that myself.
  9. Learn to say “no.” This is a big one. Let’s use me as an example. I have piles of work to do for school and I was invited to someone’s house yesterday after church. I had to say no because I knew I had homework due yesterday. If I had said yes, would I have gotten everything done in a timely manor? I would have gotten it all in but it would have been stressful and I would have been up late doing that.
  10. Rest when you’re sick. To some people this means lay in bed and do absolutely nothing. To me, this means do low energy tasks. When I am sick, I turn into a baby (terrible, I know) and I make sure I have medicine, liquids to keep me hydrated, and I just watch Netflix. I remember one time when I was sick I watched all the episodes of the original Magic School Bus then started on the new one. I can’t just sit there and do nothing. Of course, I also sleep, which is a good option, as well. You know what you can and can’t do, take care of yourself.

Overall, I want to know to take care of you. What works for one person may not work for you. If you have any tips to offer, please comment blow. I appreciate your comments and my readers do, too. As always, thank you for visiting and stay tuned next week!

“The space in which we live should be for the person we are becoming now, not for the person we were in the past.” -Marie Kondō

29920718_1802825500025840_1792278_nGood news everyone! I completed something on my 30 before 30 list! What did I complete? Marie Kondo‘s method of tidying up, aka “the Konmari Method.” It’s number 29 on my list and I am I’ve been wanting to do it for a while now.

First of all, you probably want to know what the Konmari method is and how I stumbled upon it. Here is an excerpt taken straight from the website: “The KonMari Method™ is a way of life and a state of mind that encourages cherishing the things that spark joy in people’s lives. Belongings are acknowledged for their service and thanked before being let go of, if they no longer spark joy. People are drawn to this philosophy not only due to its effectiveness, but also because it places great importance on being mindful, introspective, and optimistic.” So what you do is you go through everything (and I mean everything) you own, category by category, and touch each 30020583_1802825496692507_1848334969_nitem. It’s important to touch everything! If it brings you joy when you touch it, you keep it and if it doesn’t then you thank it and bid farewell. Marie Kondo’s method of organizing focuses on what we are keeping now what we need to get rid of.

I came across this method in a bullet journaling group I am in on Facebook. I don’t remember exactly which group it was but several people were discussing pages to create and keep track of their progress. Of course, all things organization interest me so I asked what it was all about. That’s when they referred me to her books, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up and Spark Joy. I immediately checked my library mobile app to see if they had the books and sure enough, they did. So I checked out the first one and from chapter one I was hooked. This was when I lived in a tiny 500 square-foot studio and most of our belongings were packed away in storage so I was unable to do the whole thing. Now that I have everything I own in one room, I decided it was time to get into it. And in the span of just a few hours, I was done.

30007435_1802825493359174_979829267_nSince my first encounter with the Konmari method, there have been more things happening for Marie Kondo. Just last year she released The Life-Changing Manga of Tidying Up. She saw how popular her book was, selling millions of copies world-wide, so she developed this book. There is also the mobile app. Unfortunately it is only for iPhone so I was unable to use it but I have heard great things about it. Now, just a couple of months ago, Marie Kondo announced that she is working on a reality show about the Konmari method. There is no release date or much of any information out there about it but it will be released on Netflix and the first season will have 8 episodes. I don’t know about you all, but I am super excited to see the show because I think this method is so healing, especially when you are going through a lot in your life.

I urge each of my readers to look more into the Konmari method and try it out. It helps to read the books first but it’s not required. I can garuntee that if you do this and complete it, your life will change. You will feel cleaner inside and out. Letting go of your physical clutter clears your mind, whether you realise it or not.

As always, I thank you for visiting my blog. If you have done or are in the process of doing the Konmari method, drop a comment below and tell us about your eaperience. Was it easy or hard for you? What category did you struggle with most? Did you learn anything about yourslef? I know I did!

“When you forgive, you in no way change the past – but you sure do change the future.” -Bernard Meltzer

25319884_1756491134659277_1436553091_oToday I want to talk about a specific point in my 30 Before 30 list; forgiving those who have hurt me. Why do I want to talk about that specific point? Well, last week I went to my college to meet with a counselor to get my Student Education Plan done, which was a great meeting by the way. Anyway, I saw someone there that I always hoped to never see again. And it was at that moment that I realised that number 12 will be one of the most difficult things to accomplish.

No, I am not one to hold a grudge but this person in particular hurt me in a way no one else in the world ever could. How could I forgive this person? I mean, I was able to forgive the one person who hurt me more than anyone else in the world, my mom. Why couldn’t I forgive this person?

Who is the person I am speaking of? Well, his name isn’t important but he was a guy I dated a long time ago. He wasn’t my first love or even my first boyfriend but he lied and stole almost $600 from me then lied some more. He hurt me mentally and emotionally. He took something I could never get back. How could I forgive him for that? How could you forgive such a manipulative human being?

It’s been seven years and every single time I hear his name or see him, the same anger bubbles up from the depths of my soul. How do I let this go? Well, thankfully we live in the day and age of the internet so I looked up a few things to help me out.

I started reading a wikihow article (found here). The first part in forgiving someone is deciding to forgive, which I have. Under the first step it says the following, “Forgiveness does not mean excusing or accepting the betrayal. Rather, forgiveness is the act of freeing yourself of the anguish and anger that you’ve felt towards the person who betrayed you. Forgiveness means letting go of your grudge against the other person.” We’ve all heard that holding grudges just hurt us and it’s so true, we feel so much better when we free ourselves of those feelings.

Under part two, step one it says the following, “If you’re sad, ashamed, or angry about being betrayed, that is perfectly natural. Try to find positive ways to deal with these feelings. Accepting how you feel is an important step toward emotional recovery, which is the first step toward forgiveness.” All too often we don’t want to acknowledge the negative feelings we have toward a particular human being but we need to. I know that I have negative feelings toward him.

I really like what it says under step 10, “While the betrayal you experienced may seem senseless and random at the time, step back and try to give the experience value. Instead of thinking of it as a completely terrible event without any beneficial aspects, you could think of ways in which you might actually be thankful for it. The meaning you take from the misery of betrayal can bolster your emotional strength, which you can then use to forgive the person who betrayed you.” If that incident had never happened, I wouldn’t have some of the experiences I’ve had. I also wouldn’t have the knowledge.

It may seem weird but researching it helped me understand why this point is on my 30 Before 30 list. Yes, I put it there. But I didn’t know how beneficial it would be to me. But after reading the articles I found, which I will add links to them below, I feel better about it. I can forgive. There is nothing I shouldn’t be able to forgive.

As always, thank you for visiting my blog and I hope that if you are struggling to forgive someone that this has helped you. Read the articles and decide now that you want to set yourself free. And if all else fails and you need a laugh, watch the music video below!

Forgiveness After Betrayal

The Art of Forgiveness: 10 Steps to Handling Betrayal With Elegance and Grace

The Power of Forgiveness

When You Have Been Betrayed

How to forgive when you’re still mad

“Do not read, as children do, to amuse yourself, or like the ambitious, for the purpose of instruction. No, read in order to live.” -Gustave Flaubert

summerreadinglist_istock_34481384_hires_983px          Today I decided that I would share my reading list. I keep adding to it because there are so many good books to read but I figured some of you would benefit from my list. I will put a check next to the ones I’ve read. So, here we go!

  1. ✔️ Spark Joy -Marie Kondo 
  2. ✔️ Daring Greatly -Brené Brown
  3. ✔️ The 5 Love Languages -Gary Chapman
  4. ✔️ The Miracle Morning -Hal Elrod
  5. The Metabolism Plan -Lyn-Genet Recitas
  6. The Latter-Day Morning -Mark Bacera
  7. Overcoming Destructive Anger -Bernard Golden
  8. Claim Your Power -Mastin Kipp
  9. Happiness: A Memoir:  The Crooked Little Road to Semi-Ever After -Heather Harpham
  10. Self-Esteem Bible: Build Your Confidence Day by Day -Gael Lindenfeild
  11. The Modern Girl’s Guide to Life -Jane Buckingham
  12. Your Best Year 2018: Life Edition -Lisa Jacobs
  13. The True INFP -Truity
  14. Rising Strong -Brené Brown
  15. I Thought I Was The Crazy One: 201 way to Identify and Deal with Toxic People -Amorah
  16. ✔️ Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix -JK Rowling
  17. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince -JK Rowling
  18. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows -JK Rowling
  19. ✔️ Wild -Cheryl Strayed
  20. Total Me-Tox -Beth Behrs
  21. Odd Birds -Ian Harding
  22. Tales of Beedle the Bard -JK Rowling
  23. What I wish I’d Known When I was 20 -Tina Seelig
  24. Bridget Jones’ Diary -Helen Fielding
  25. Buckland’s Complete Book of Witchcraft -Raymond Buckland
  26. The Time Traveler’s Wife -Audrey Niffenegger
  27. PCOS for Dummies -Gaynor Bussell and Sharon Perkins
  28. Organize Now! -Jennifer Ford Berry
  29. Madly in Love with Me: The daring Adventure of Becoming Your Own Best Friend -Christine Arylo
  30. My Zero-waste Kitchen: Easy Ways to eat Waste Free -Kate Turner

I added links to each book in case anyone wants to check them out on Amazon. Each book has something to offer, whether it be something to learn or a way to escape reality. I hope you all find your next read from this list! Let me know if you’ve read any of these books and how you liked (or disliked) them.

As always, thank you for visiting my blog. Keep coming back for more! Don’t forget, you can subscribe by email and a notification will come straight to your inbox when I post something new.

“Sometimes it’s hard to see the rainbow when there’s been endless days of rain.” ―Christina Greer

pcosI know many of you are still confused about all that is going on in my life.Which is why I decided to make a blog post about one specific aspect of my life that many are ignorant on, through no fault of their own.

In August of last year, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), view my post on that here. Of course, I had no idea what it was, no one I knew had ever mentioned having it nor was it in the media like cancer or diabetes. What even is PCOS? What does it mean to have it? What are complications that arise from PCOS? Will I be ok? What can I do to make sure it doesn’t get worse? I had all of these questions and more. I was harboring them inside of me and I was afraid to let everyone know because I was worried enough, I didn’t want to worry anyone else. The couple people I actually opened up to just brushed it off as nothing. But sadly, it’s not nothing. It’s something bigger than we all thought. In my previous post I really just spoke about what the symptoms were and added a list of famous people who also have PCOS. This time I am going to give you a few things that I have learned since then.

  • pcos plateAvoiding gluten and dairy help
  • A low GI diet is important
  • Being active is vital, strength training as well as cardio
  • Losing weight (when overweight) helps immensely. According to PCOS for Dummies, “If you are an overweight woman with PCOS, even a modest weight loss of 5 percent leads to
    1. A decrease in your insulin level
    2. An improvement in your menstrual cycle (or acts as a trigger for it to start again)
    3. Reduced testosterone levels, leading to reductions in hirsutism and acne
  • Every issue I’ve been dealing with (digestive issues, depression, acne, weight gain, irregular menstruation, vitamin D deficiency, and many other things) are linked together with PCOS
  • 75% of women with PCOS have a relative with PCOS as well

I have made a whole board on Pinterest full of helpful stuff for managing PCOS, which you can find here. I also have a board for gluten/dairy free recipes and foods that you can visit here. I will be attempting to be gluten and dairy free, though I know it will take time. I am starting off small. Right now, I am focusing on following the PCOS plate so we will see how this goes.

I hope this helped everyone understand at least a little bit about what is going on inside of me. I also hope this helps everyone have a better understanding of my diet, so if I say I can’t have something it’s not because I don’t like it. I want to help my body be happy.

As always, thank you for visiting my blog! I hope you come back to read more. If you still have questions, check out the image and video below. I will talk more about PCOS later so please don’t think I’m leaving you out to dry. Stay tuned!

pcos1