All posts by My Life in a Blog

About My Life in a Blog

Hello! I am a young adult still trying to figure out life. One thing I know for sure is that I am passionate about writing, thus the reason I have a blog. I hope you enjoy whatever comes out of my brain and into my posts.

Hello readers! I hope everyone had a great weekend. This week I want to talk about something many people don’t like you talk about…seeing a therapist or counselor.

As many of you know, I’ve had a pretty, shall we say interesting, life. My childhood wasn’t great, I lost my parental figures, there was abuse at different times, divorce, the list continues. Well, I met with my bishop at church and he said that he thought it would be beneficial for me to see someone.

So, fast forward about two weeks and I finally saw someone and I can’t wait to meet with him again. To be honest, I was nervous. I was in therapy as a kid but I was meeting with a woman, I loved her and still think about her and how much she helped me. I went to therapy a few times before my mission, but I once again saw a woman. I had a psychiatrist in L.A. and I saw a man but he didn’t listen to much of what I said then just prescribed me pills.

All in all, I didn’t have a lot of experience with opening up to a male therapist. This made me a bit nervous. On top of that, I had to take the city bus to where it was and missed it so had to wait extra time which caused me to be late.

The actual session went great, though. He actually listened, asked questions, expressed concerns, and gave me homework. What homework, you ask? He wants me to write out my feeling about the 3 major things I am dealing with in my life, exercise AT LEAST twice a week, and work on my thoughts to shut down the negative ones.

I can tell you first hand, therapy works. I was a pretty messed up kid and my therapist never pushed me but slowly I started changing and being more open and happy as the years went by. I will be the first to admit, I was embarrassed at times when people found out I was going to therapy. It made me seem like a freak because no one else had to go, none of my friends had issues like I did…or at least it seemed that way.

We never know what people are going through. We never know what we will be like at the end of our trials. We also may never be able to open up because of fear. Many people worry about what others think, it’s a huge problem and I think it always has been.

There is such a negative stigma associated with seeing a therapist. If you see someone, you must be crazy, right? No!

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This post is, again, late. I’ve gotta tell you, being social media free is harder than I thought. I thought about going total social media free for the entire month long fast but I simply cannot do that. I know, so millennial of me. Did you know Pinterest and YouTube are considered social media? I found out right before starting my fast and I was honestly shocked. I use Pinterest for my child development class and I use YouTube for my English class. So you could understand how hard it has been. I haven’t used them as apps and instead found ways of getting what I needed but still. The rest of the social media fast has been easy. But after tomorrow, I will be returning to Pinterest and YouTube. It will be the 10 days so I don’t feel bad about it. Plus, I use them for school.

“The differences between a tart, a pie and a quiche are a blur.” -Yotam Ottolenghi

A little while back, I was gifted several lemons and had no idea what to do with them. So, rather than let them all go to waste, I took to Pinterest (like any sane person would do, right). Upon my research, I decided I wanted to make mini lemon tarts. Unfortunately, I didn’t know the first thing about making them nor did I have the correct tools. So, we went to Michael’s, bought a mini pie pan, and set to work.

20190412_162215The first thing I did was look up how to make the filing for the, now decidedly, mini pies. I found something on Pinterest that took me to this link. I had never done anything like this so I knew I was in for an adventure. Also, unfortunately, I did not get any pictures of this portion of the baking. I did remember to get some photos later on, though, which you can see in the post. The recipe was pretty easy to follow and it ended up tasting pretty good.

Instead of making pie crust from scratch, I decided to try a boxed mix… because I’ve never made pie before. There’s a first time for everything, right? That’s something I wish I had helped my grandma with because baking pies is something she was really good at. She always made the pies for pretty much every holiday. Now, it’s always store-bought pies and I want to change that.

20190412_162211So, with the curd done and the pie mix together, it was time to roll it out. Not gonna lie, I had to add more than the recommended amount of water to the mix because a little more than two tablespoons did nothing. The 4-year-old helped me roll it out and get it ready to be placed in the mini pie pan. I think she really enjoyed herself, she loves helping in the kitchen.

Once the pie crust was good and flattened, which proved to be a little more difficult than planned, I set it on the pan and made sure it fit in each of the six mini pie holes. We had enough left over curd and pie crust to make a single, weirdly shaped, regular sized pie, also.

20190412_162208The pies cooked in about 15 minutes and they took hours to solidify again. The curd was very watery when heated in the oven so we had to wait what seemed like forever. The bigger pie took less time to solidify and we’re assuming it’s because it had less filling. We could be wrong, though, so who knows. Everyone agreed, though, that the pies were delicious. The 4-year-old couldn’t even keep her hands out of them, as we woke up in the morning and saw that little fingers had been poking several of the pies…which we then had a conversation about. So, all-in-all, it was 4 year old approved. That’s a win, right?

What have you all recently baked? How did it turn out? Let me know in the comments below, maybe we can try it out here! As always, thank you for coming to my blog. I apologize for the late posting, stay tuned for next week’s post! Have a great week.

“Beauty, to me, is about being comfortable in your own skin. That, or a kick-ass red lipstick.” ―Gwyneth Paltrow

Something that has been on my mind a lot lately is my outward appearance. For most of my life, I wore little to no makeup and comfy clothes. But as you get older your fashion tends to change. I have been wanting to buy makeup and learn how to actually apply it. I have been wanting to buy clothes that aren’t just jeans, t-shirts, or yoga pants. Yes, I have a new-found love for joggers but I know there is a time and a place for everything. I wear yoga pants and joggers to school because I have yoga class as my first class of the day and don’t feel the need to change.

Now, I am by no means telling you that you need to dress better or wear makeup to feel like an adult. No way, not at all. Do what you feel comfortable in. I, however, have acne that I want to cover up and I want to just dress overall better than I have in the past.

Unfortunately, acne is something that goes with having PCOS. It may clear up if I had a better diet and exercised regularly but right now I’m not. And I know that makeup can enhance the beauty I already have. I don’t want makeup because I think I’m ugly and want to hide who I am. I just want to enhance my beauty. Also, acne makes me look younger than I am and people tend to treat “younger” child care workers different from older ones.

And for those whose main argument against makeup is that it’s just to hide behind something, no. That’s ridiculous. If you say that women wear makeup to impress boys, yes, some do but most want to wear makeup for themselves. It makes them happy. And don’t forget, makeup used to be for men…so stop shaming people for wearing it.

I’ll get off my soap box for now on that. I just wanted to share my thoughts that I’ve had lately on the matter. Do you wear makeup? What YouTubers do you watch? Share below! As always, thank you for coming to my blog and listening to me ramble.

“But no matter how much evil I see, I think it’s important for everyone to understand that there is much more light than darkness.” ―Robert Uttaro

30 days of saamApril is Sexual Assault Awareness Month so today I want to kick off the month with this blog post. First, I want to invite everyone to participate in the 30 day challenge that the National Sexual Violence Resource Center has going on Instagram. To enter into the contest, you must have a public profile (unfortunately) so I won’t be considered for any prizes but I’m still going to post each day. For instance, today is April 1, so the prompt for today is “How I gear up for SAAM.” I posted a picture on Instagram of my planner with a single pen because my planner is how get ready for anything. Tomorrow is the day where we are supposed to wear teal, which is the ribbon color for sexual assault. I think it’s great because it’s also the ribbon color for PCOS, so I have more of a reason to celebrate the color teal.

SAAM19-FB2_0As a survivor of sexual assault, I want to spread the word about SAAM to everyone. They have special frames on Facebook for your profile picture to show your support, if you have Facebook. If you want to learn more information, visit here. Or if you want to donate to the cause, visit here. There is also a big conference in Chicago, IL if that’s more your thing, get info here. Lastly, visit here for resources.

I know this is short but comment below with what you are doing for SAAM this month. Until next time! Thank you for stopping by.

PS: This weekend is General Conference so be sure to tune in to that. Watch the video below for a great “trailer”  for it.

“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.” -Albert Einstein

This past week was another uneventful one. One thing that happened was I signed a petition for a highly offensive game to be banned on Steam before its release date. What is the game, you ask? It’s called Rape Day, and it’s exactly what you imagine it is. That’s why it needed to be taken down. I don’t know who made the game or why they thought it was a good idea but they should be fired.

In lighter news, I have looked over the classes for fall semester and it is looking like I will have school on Mondays and Wednesdays next semester. It will also be my last semester at a community college and I am looking forward to that. Now I just have to decide if I want to transfer or stay with my Associate degrees. I’ve been thinking a lot about my future lately and I am thinking that being a college counselor would be perfect for me. I have dealt with my fair share of incompetent college counselors starting in high school, all the way up to my current college. The most recent terrible counselor told me that I have been in school to long and that I needed to pick one single degree and focus on that. Even though I don’t need to take ANY extra classes for the degrees I am getting, they ALL over lap. Heck, after this semester, I am done with my major classes.

Thankfully, I have also met with a few knowledgeable counselors who were able to help me. Just last week, I met with one who was able to tell me that the previous counselors I went to were wrong and that they were trying to get me to take extra classes I didn’t need. At this point, I had already taken them so it didn’t matter but I’m still annoyed. Just a FYI, if you are getting both a regular AA or AS plus another degree that is an AA-T or AS-T (that is to say, for transfer), you don’t have to do both general education plans, the CSU transfer general education replaces the regular general education. So, that could save you from taking extra classes like health, P.E, Library science, and stuff like that.

This is why I want to be a college counselor. I have met too many who don’t listen to or care about the students. I want to be like the 3 (out of the handfuls I have seen) and actually be there to help people not waste time and money.

I know in college, I am supposed to figure out what I want to do with my life and I think that I finally have. It took me a bit of time but I think I got it. I can spend some time as a preschool teacher and then get my Bachelor’s degree and Master’s degree while doing that. Then, perhaps I will find a job in as a college counselor.

What are your thoughts? When did you know what you wanted to do with your life? What have been your experiences with college counselors? Leave a comment below, and as always, thank you for visiting my blog.

“In nine lifetimes, you’ll never know as much about your cat as your cat knows about you.” –Michel de Montaigne

53294689_365469507620410_5291858716121890816_nThis week, I don’t have much to report…which is a good and bad thing I suppose. One fun thing that did occur this week, however, is my cat Olivander turning one year old. I didn’t throw him a party or make him a kitty cake but I did have a mini photo shoot with him. We both had fun and the photos look great. Of course, they are nowhere near professional, but it was worth every second. As you can see in the photo, we used some wand props because he is named after the great Ollivander himself…just a little spelling difference.

Another thing that happened this week was that I finally met with a counselor in college who knows her stuff. It’s a miracle, I know. I am on track on she will hep me fill out all of my paperwork for every degree when it is time. She also will help me see what universities will be accepting spring 2020 admissions so that’s awesome. I was only in her office for about ten minutes and it helped me so much more than any 30-60 minute meeting I’ve had with counselors before. She was on top of everything and had my file all ready for me before I even went into her office. She answered all of my questions and was very straight with me and for that, I am grateful.

53327487_326011561373125_6186254980857462784_nLastly, I just want to say how powerful music can be. I just put all of the music from my external hard drive onto my new laptop and started listening to music I haven’t heard in so long. One of my personal favorites my freshman year of high school is below and I felt all of those feelings and memories come flooding back. Have you every had a moment like that with music? You haven’t heard a song in 10+ years and when you heard it again for the first time, everything comes flooding back. It’s crazy how music can have such and impact on us, for good or bad.

Anyway, I know this was kind of a random catch up with Carra post. I hope you enjoyed it and enjoy the song below. I hope you come back next week for more content. Have a great week and weekend!

“Children nurtured in kindness learn the value of understanding.” -Steve Goodier

Today I want to talk about a challenge I have right now. As a member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I have a calling (or “job”) in the church. This does not mean I get paid, everything in the church is volunteer based, as you can read a little about here.

My calling is the Sunbeam teacher, which is the 3 year olds. Why is this hard for me, you may ask. I am getting a degree in early childhood education, after all, so it should be easy for me. Well, it’s not. I don’t know the children or the other teacher or any parents. I don’t know how to teach them or how to keep their attention. When I worked at a preschool before, I worked with children that I didn’t really need to plan a lesson for. As a floater, at first, I just filled in where it was needed. As the grade school teacher, I helped make sure the K-3rd graders were doing their homework and not wreaking havoc on the school.

So, here I am, in new territory. I am learning how to plan lessons ahead of time. I am learning that they children really enjoy coloring and thankfully each lesson has a great coloring page. I also am part of some awesome groups with other Sunbeam teachers on Facebook and that helps me out.

I am excited to continue learning, especially since I want to be a preschool teacher. This is perfect practice!

I know there wasn’t much to this blog post but I wanted to share a little about what I am up to at church. Comment below with any tips or tricks you have for teaching 3 and 4 year olds. As always, thank you for visiting my blog and have a great week!

“When you forgive, you in no way change the past but you sure do change the future.” -Bernard Meltzer

Hello everyone. I hope you are all doing well. I was up late last night, as insomnia is a part of PCOS, and I was doing some thinking. Of course, when you’re lost in thought, one thing leads to another and your mind has wandered to a place you didn’t expect. That’s what this blog post is about.

I’ve blogged about different points on my 30 before 30 list several times and I want to revisit one I’ve talked about before, number 12: Forgive people who hurt me. Why do I want to revisit this one? Well, sometime while I was lost in thought, a specific person came to mind and I realized, I am ready to forgive him. For the sake of privacy, we shall call him D. He was my first love, the one I swore I would be with forever. I met him when I was 16, when I lived in Missouri and we dated for about six months and he was there for me during the darkest time of my life. We broke up because I had to move away and it was hard for both of us. We loved each other but we didn’t know what would happen with having 3,000 miles between us. We both went through a lot of change, dated different people, then in 2011 we had the opportunity to reunite. It didn’t go the way I had always envisioned. Two weeks later he got married. I won’t bore you with the woes of that day I found out because they don’t matter anymore. I will say, the best thing to come of that was a one-on-one lunch and movie with my Uncle Dirk.

Anyway, as I lay awake thinking about him and the feeling of forgiveness, an idea popped into my head and I honestly debated it a lot. But here it goes, a letter to D, from me. Will he ever read it? I don’t know, he doesn’t need to. It’s more for myself than for him. If you want to stop reading here, I will understand. I’m glad you came to my blog and I hope you continue coming back. If you’d like to read this letter, here it is:

Dear D,

I want to start this letter by saying thank you. Because of you, I learned a lot about myself, about the world, about pain and joy, and about letting go of it all. I have thought about you a lot in the last decade, though it’s less and less as time passes.

I’m happy for you and your life. Your two little girls are adorable and your wife is a beautiful mother. To be honest, it may take longer to forgive her but I am glad for what I went through with her. All the harsh words, the pain, everything helped me let you go.

I hope you are safe in your position in the military. I hope your daughters grow up knowing they have a very strong and wonderful dad. I hope they look up to you and know that you will protect them no matter what.

There was a time when I was jealous. I wanted to be here. I wanted to be the one to be yours forever. But I now know what we had was not forever. You were a branch, not a root. You were in my life when I needed you the most, you were there crying with me in the hospital as I prepared to say goodbye to my grandma. You were there, listening to me sob as I told you ever pain I had during that dark time. And for that I am grateful. You were the rock I needed. And I’m so glad you are able to that rock for your family.

I wish nothing but happiness and health in your life. It may have taken me years to get to this point but I honestly do. I hope you are doing well and that, if you ever read this, you know that it comes from my heart.

Thank you D, for being the first love and the first heartbreak I needed. I’m glad you were a part of my life and I wouldn’t change it for anything. You helped make me who I am today.

Sincerely,

Carra

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” –Buddha

Sorry this is two days late but better late than never, right? Today I want to talk about having confidence because I feel that it goes well with my 30 before 30 number three which is to love myself again.

First off, I want to be honest, I don’t think I ever truly loved myself. I’ve loved aspects of me at different times but never really looked at myself and thought “I love me.” And that is a problem. I also know I’m not alone in that feeling. We are conditioned from a young age that of we don’t look, act, or sound a certain way, we aren’t good. So, our self confidence depletes and there’s nothing there to love.

When I was in third grade, I remember hating my middle name. I have no idea why but I did. Fast forward to high school, I never liked my eyes because they weren’t the blue color I had longed for my whole life. Fast forward to post high school, I gained weight and had acne and saw myself as ugly.

Now, I love my middle name because it’s unique. I love my eyes because they are beautiful, and as a bonus, they change colors sometimes (yay hazel eyes) so I occasionally appear to have blue eyes. I’m still struggling to love the way I look, though, even at 27 years old.

However, I am learning to accept me and the way I look and I think that is the first step. I’m also making steps to change some of it.

Unfortunately, with PCOS, it is a little more difficult to lose weight or get rid of acne but it will happen. I try going to the gym regularly with Zack and I’m really enjoying yoga and will continue on when the class is over.

My next objective to loving myself? Take care of myself and the environment around me. If I do that, my body will thank me and show me love in return. This will making me loving myself almost automatic.

I know other people struggle with this so please know you’re not alone. Comment below with ways you have found to boost confidence and love yourself.

As always, thank you for visiting my blog. I hope you continue stopping by. Have a great week and weekend!